Irresponsible hubby wants to move?

Question

Hi, my hubby has never been responsible with money, never saved a penny and works 2 jobs. 1 job he pulls 40 hrs. every other week..the 2nd job he works every week..all nights..both are weekends off. He put in a request to go full time everyweek 3 hrs away from every one we know...yesterday he tells me there may be an opening. today he calls and says it will be open by the end of april.. I dont want to move. last year i had lost my job due to my comany closing. I pay every bill in the house including groceries. He has never paid rent or anything eles, runs up the cell bill every month and i end up paying it cuz it's my credit at risk. His credit sucks. He wants to just up and move 3 hrs away from both our families..my parents, his mom..they are getting older, I'm just now getting back on my feet w/ a good paying job that may or may not last..(bartender, hopefully the bar will stay in business). I dont know what to do. He kills himself w/ 2 jobs and i never see any of the money.

I really love him otherwise i wouldnt put up with all his ****, (theres alot!) It's hard to find a comany that will hire you in as a bartender right off the bat, and i dont want to go back to minimum wage.He "says" he'll contribute more if we move but i know better..he wont. He's wont now. I dont want to be dragged into a hole. I love where we live and our apartment. He just dont get it

The money goes to his 3 child supports and bills from his previous marriage. about 1300 a month, then junk that he wants to buy. I have stopped buying groceries cuz he eats everything that aint nailed down

To Micheal F. There's always one out there like you. I didnt "whine" about his child support payments, Yep I'm having the time of my life working in a bar where it's extremely hard work, manual labor, late late nights, getting up in the morning trying to keep a home for us, paying every bill right down to the toilet paper, buying christmas for his family and mine without any job last year..should i go on? Your sooo smart, you should move in with him..maybe you can take care of him since YOUR SOOO GAY!...yep what a real facade! YA DORK.

Answer 1

He is very selfish and immature. Where is his money going to? I think you need to dump this guy!

Answer 2

I'd like to hear his side of the story. I don't believe he is being unreasonable at all. You on the other hand i believe are being very unreasonable. You need to cut your attachment to your family.

Let him move maybe he'll find someone and make the smart decision to divorce you.

You are whining about his childsupport payments, which are required by law to be paid each month. Atleast he's paying when so many deadbeats aren't paying their childsupport.

This job you have as a bartender tells me you are having the time of your life working in the bar. It's not all to do with the money why you are working in that sort of job.

I wasn't born yesterday and i can see right through this fascade.

Answer 3

Let him do what he wants, but don't let him near any credit cards. If he has any where it's both of your credit at risk - cut those up . As soon as you can cancel/separate the cell phone so that you are not at risk. You need to start separating your finances now so that he doesn't bury you in debt. Just because he wants to move doesn't mean you have to. You are paying for everything now - let him pay his own rent at the new place for a change.

I am not sure what his game is, but he is using you. He works ll that time...where is the money? Are you sure that there isn't another woman involved?

Answer 4

So what does your husband spend all that money he makes in 2 jobs on?? It seems to me that he is responsible because he does work 2 jobs!!!!!!

You can sit him down and tell him that you no longer will pay the bills, that he will have to pay for all of it since he is the head of the household and therefore responsible for his family(financially).
Or
you can leave him, find a job and pay your bills which should be a lot less if you are only paying the bills for you.....

Answer 5

most of your comments revolve around not moving, and that's what you really want, not to move. You're asking for advice hoping that someone sees some good that you don't. I don't. The definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over and expect a different result. You keep giving changes (cell phone, bills) hoping he'll change. Stick to your guns about him being responsible FIRST, then when that's proven, you'll follow him. If he wants to be responsible, he can there, rather than you trying to make him that way by giving in to his every whim. You never mentioned kids. If you have them, you'll be uprooting them. I'm not telling you what to do, just giving affirmation to what it's clearly you're feeling. Good Luck!

Answer 6

I would let him go by himself and open a joint account before he leaves that way you can use some of his money to pay the bills and spend a little on yourself, sounds like you never see the guy anyway.

Answer 7

You need to let him go and move out.. You will be better off for it. Move on with your life without him in it. I wish you the best. Why is he wanting to move out if i may ask? Have you guys been to marriage counseling yet? Do you want to try and save the marriage or not?

Answer 8

i would tell him to go ahead and get an apartment and get everything all ready and when he gets it done then u may up and move, but that he will have to ensure that everything is ready for you when u get there. have him pay all deposits and put everything in his name.
this way, u r in no way responsible for anything that is late etc.
if u choose to move with him, then thats you.
i personally went through this with an ex and i tell ya hun, it doesnt get any better. it gets worse.
u have to decide if u are willing to give up your job and take the risk of moving with him. is the relationship worth it?
i wish ya luck

Answer 9

If he wants to go tell him to go that you are not making the move, he can get his own place with his own money, you need to put your foot down jobs are hard to come buy now a days..

Answer 10

Let him go and give it 6 months and see what happens and how you both feel.

If you go you'll resent him & if he stays he'll resent you.

Visit as much as possible and talk for at least 5 minutes every night.