Divorce? Any thought?

Question

I must say that i'm absolutelly amazed at how many people especially women who when they give advice about a marrieage that's going through rough times, the most common answer I come across is a divorce. Aren't women supposedly more sensitive about marriages and divorces? What happened to the advices about really sitting down with your better half and really get down to business on what's missing on a marriage. I see alot of hints abouts seeing a councelour, but who's got the money? What I haven't seen yet is anyone advising to talk to a minister. What's up with that? I went to a councelour once with my wife and I remember saying we each have to give 50% towards tha marriage. 50%!!!??? Shouldn't it be as my minister suggested to me to both give 100%? I mean give it all and you know that eventually you will get to the bottom of it all right? I would appreciate some thoughts on this one.

Answer 1

the marrige is over when someone cheats on thier spouse no use in talking

Answer 2

Well, I am a woman and only in a few cases do I consider divorce an option. Abuse and infidelity are good reasons to get a divorce. Because when we say our vows, forsake all others is in there with them. I truly believe marriage should be a life long commitment. At our wedding, our minister read a poem called "Marriage Takes Three" (husband, wife and God). I often advise people to seek marriage counselling. I did not specify where they should go, but anyone who attends church would know that their pastor/minister/priest/rabbi....would offer this service. Don't be too pessimistic, there are still a few of us who believe marriage is forever. All it takes is a little effort from both people.

Answer 3

You are absolutely right. American law makes it simply too easy to get out of a committment, and women do not have the willingness to stick it out any longer.....

Unfortunately it is also such, that in this fast-lane-life of Americans, there seems to be very little effort on good communication skills. It actually requires to be able to listen, to hear someone out, and to be willing to ask a statement back as a question if not sure about the meaning. Good communication skills most certainly would not only improve marriages, it also would improve our every day relationships with friend, neighbors, and co-workers. So maybe schools should pick it up as a mandatory courseload.

As far as giving it all in a relationshi: I always said, that if both do not give 150% it will get one-sided. A lot of women do get upset because men still think in terms of "male" work, not willing to do the so-called female work(household chores), even though, the average woman has to work to help make ends meet nowadays. Men often get upset because women do want equality, but when it comes down to it, most of them still want to be treated with silk-gloves.
I am of the belief that making divorce harder would most certainly help a lot. People would start working harder on their relationship if they had no other choice.....

Answer 4

Your minister is right - both have to give 100%.

Divorce has become very easy, and everyone knows someone that seems to be better off after a divorce. Nobody talks about the people (mostly women) who are worse off after a divorce. Women's standard of living drops 45% after divorce and are more than 7 times more likely to be stalked by exes than men are.

Answer 5

It's very hard nowadays to remain married. People view marriage like a job. Once the "job" gets boring, they want a new "job." The longer the marriage, the longer it becomes stale. Hence, people cheat and want to change "jobs." But the key to a long marriage is to keep it interesting. Your love for your partner must continue to grow each and every day of your lives. I don't believe in a divorce. If I were to get married, it means till death due us part. I would never commit adulterty and I would do everthing in my power to make my wife happy. That means expressing my love to her every day. Married people should follow this philosophy if they want a long and happy marriage.

Answer 6

It's the womans fault. It's in their best interests to get divorced over any reason. They get half your sh*it, and if you have kids with them, forget about having a stable financial future.

Women are bi*tches and they let themselves go when they get married and stop having sex. Then, they have the gall to divorce you because you're just not attracted to them any more and don't give them the time of day.

There is no benefit that a guy can receive from being married. It just doesnt make sense to get married in this day and age. You can have a life partner, but you should never get married. It's a financial disaster.

Answer 7

As someone who has and still going through a rough road, I am NOT a divorce first person. But I gotta tell you, my pastor is the LAST person I would go to. The man doesn't get it. He has the personality of a door stop He's in totally the wrong job, so no... I am NOT taking my personal troubles to him!

Counselling - good counselling is covered on plans for those who haev them.
but ya gotta shop around like anything else. Some marriage counsellors really are *divorce* counsellors. So know what you're buying - like anything else.

Answer 8

I happen to agree with you! Marriage is 100% commitment. Divorce is not an option is my marriage. We always talk through everything. I realize that I have a very good marriage, our motto is to "prefer one another over ourselves". This works really good, as long as both partners feel that way. It would be very hard to keep giving when you don't feel your partner is trying at all.

Answer 9

I'm in agreement, I think it's funny when people say marriage if 50 / 50.....I always guess they haven't been married long and they are in for a rude awakening; those are the folks that "keep score" then end up fighting over who took the trash out last.........and wonder why they are arguing every day.....