people with no self-confidence or no self-esteem tend to find eye contact difficult...?

Question

but I've always been able to look anyone in the eyes easily. thing is, I don't have the highest self-esteem in the world, but still, I never even thought that there could be such a thing as not being to look into somebody's eyes. so does this mean I actually have a high self-esteem and never knew it, or is it just different for everyone?

Answer 1

I've never heard of this theory. If it is true, you are probably in the middle between low self-esteem and high self-esteem, where you can look certain people in the eye, such as friends and close family members, as well as strangers. But when you see someone you like, then you might not be able to make eye contact, thus turning away, and becoming pink.

Answer 2

Everone is different but if you can do it with no problems then you have something you do not want to lose. It will help you to decide whether this person is genuine or not. All too often we tend not to check out a persons eyes when they speak to us and this is one way which will allow you to decide if the person is being truthful or not. The eyes often tell the state of the inner self. If someone is not whole heartedly into something then their eyes will tell you that. If someone is lying the same can be true because they will avoid eye contact with you in such cases. So keep on truckin' and keep those eyes down the road, it can surely lead to success. Good luck.

Answer 3

Self-esteem and looking someone in the eye, I am not sure what one has to do with the other. When people lie, or are ashamed of something they did they tend to look away. You will know if you have self esteem if you: Are a positive person? Do you say I can or I can't. Do you tend to find things wrong with yourself? Do you care what other people think?

Answer 4

You have some good answers, already.
Let me add this. Whether or not you look into a person's eyes depends upon who they are and what their relationship is to you. A sincere and honest person can do both - initiate and return gaze.
I always look directly into the eyes of loved friends and family and often try to look into the eyes of anyone of whom I asked a question or for whom I am answering a question. There is more emotional connection and understanding that goes beyond the words. It makes you feel close, without physically touching.

Answer 5

This is an interesting question. Often, low self-esteem is due to emotional, verbal, and physical abuse as a child, or in marriage. If you are constantly berated, and your self-worth is being undermined by constant criticism and punishment, you accept that you are unworthy to everyone, and posture yourself as if you were guilty of something. One of the indicators of guilt is the inability to look someone in the eye, and yet accomplished liars have managed to overcome this symptom. As a child, I was mistreated regularly, and found it difficult to look adults in the eye, even teachers. One day, another student accused me of cheating on a test, (I didn't) and I was sent to the principals office to be interrogated. I protested my innocence, but was punished anyway, because I couldn't meet the teacher's eyes, had my head down, and slumped in my chair. They actually told me that my behavior gave away my guilt. If they had taken the time to notice, they would have seen that I always had my head down, slumped, and didn't look people in the eye. Years later, I also overcame these symptoms, but developing the self-esteem came much harder, and I still struggle with aspects of it.

Culture also plays a role. In some cultures, it is disrespectful for a child to look an adult or authority figure in the eyes. There are also cultures where it is considered disrespectful if a woman looks a man in the eyes.

To label a particular habit of body language as symptomatic of an emotional or psychological problem is useful, but circumstance, culture, and history should always be investigated as a factor.

Answer 6

its kinda true, tho not a hard and fast rule.
I tend to not make a lot of eye contact when I'm at a low point in my self-confidence, because people tend to be able to push me around more easily then. Its a mechanism that maintains my independence.

being able to make eye contact easily doesn't mean you're arrogant or anything, it just means you don't have a lot of fear, which is a very good thing.

Answer 7

Sometimes, when I try explaining things to certain people, like on a job interview, they seem to get this blank look and just stare at me. That gets to me and I quit looking directly at them and not make eye contact, until I forget about that experience.

Have you ever been in a staring contest?
It's the same thing. You wait for them to say something, but they just stare at you. It is really uncomfortable.

You have probably never experienced that.

Answer 8

Everyone is different to a point. You have to look inside yourself to find what you're looking for. Do you believe in yourself? Do you think of yourself as a good person? Do you like yourself? You have to be able to answer these questions and the answer must be yes to each. Remember, too, God don't make junk. You are a worthy person.

Answer 9

I just find it awkward to stare somebody in the eyes for the entire time you talk to them.

Answer 10

I wouldn't worry about this too much. It simply goes without saying that there is an exeption to every rule. I guess it does go with saying...err writing.