at my very young age 0f 17 i didnt know how will i raise my future child, ive talked to my x to kindly help me tell my parents my situation but he refused..there are even several times he said that when i gave birth to our child he might kill it because he saw our baby as the biggest mistake of his life...even though i wanted just to let go of him im scared specially when the time comes my childwill go and ask where is his father.Im also very ashamed telling my parents bout my situation because i gave them such problems, they are also the one who will bwe blamed by our relatives and i dont want them to short out the financial needs of my future baby and i.
2007-02-08 10:58:45 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Unless you fear a violent reaction from your parents you should talk with them. Also I would stop talking to your x, possibly even getting a restraining order against him if you feel his threats are valid. As far as explaining it to your child that's something you shouldn't even worry about right now, you may be married or in other circumstances then.
2007-02-08 11:02:33 · answer #1 · answered by tylw85 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HMM....There are support lines that you can call locally ANYTIME you need to talk this out. Also, if x is threatening to kill the baby then cut him out of the picture. You are now thinking for two and having an absent father is better than having an abusive or resentful father. I wouldn't normally suggest cutting the father out but at this moment he clearly does not want to be involved. I know that this will be extremely hard for you, but tell at least one of your parents (the one you trust most). They may initially be angry acting they may even suggest abortion or adoption. Remember, this is ultimately your decision to make, not theirs. When you tell them that you plan to keep the child, they will eventually come arround and they might possibly be more supportive in the begining than you think. I am giving you worse case senerio so that you will be prepared for anything. The reason you need to tell a parent is because they will become supportive and you have a potentially violent ex and a baby on the way which is too much for an experienced adult to deal with, without support. And parents will give you better advice than someone your own age. Do not do anything impulsive. Do not make snap decisions. I know how you feel and I made a major mistake the first time due to listening to my grandmother and making a quick decision. Anything that you decide to do, you will have to live with for the rest of your life. Always remember that with pregnancy there is no quick fix. Call the support line before you talk to your parents so they can answer every question you may have and offer ready support. You can look it up on the internet or in the yellow pages. Good luck with everything....oh, and btw I am now 3 months pregnant myself!
2007-02-08 19:13:14 · answer #2 · answered by Soul Searcher 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not much you can do now. Your parents are your only support right now. Go the them and fess up. If you are depending on them financially, be prepared to straighten up and fly right. Remember it's not just you now. You are already a mother even though you have not yet given birth. You have to protect your baby and do what it right for you both. It will be difficult, but all will work out in the end. If your Ex is not supportive, let him go. He will be the one missing out on a wonderful life with your baby and you will be better off. You don't need that stress piled on to what you are already going through.
As for answering questions when your child is older, just be honest. I was in the same situation, although I was 20, not 17. My son is 10 now and is happy with my husband, his "dad". He doesn't feel the need to connect with his birth father.
Good luck to you. Take it one step at a time and talk with your parents. It will work out.
2007-02-08 19:12:48 · answer #3 · answered by Mom of 3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are 17. This is going to be hard.
You have to talk to your parents as soon as possible, especially if you want to keep the child. And you've got to get a restraining order against your ex-boyfriend. I'm serious. He is a direct danger to you and your unborn child.
I know it will be hard for you to tell your parents, but you are preggers. There's not much that can be done about it. You have to be considerate of your family -- they'd like to be notified as soon as possible.
It sounds like you are set on keeping the child. It's quite possible your parents will turn over all financial needs to you when you turn 18. I do not tell you this to scare you.
You can, if you want, have an abortion. Or you can give the baby up for adoption. But I'm not here to tell you what to feel.
Do not be worried about what anything thinks. People who love you and care about you will still be there for you.
If you keep your child and the time comes to tell the child about his/her father...tell him the truth -- that you were young and that his/her father did not or was not ready to have a child. There is no need to lie. Lying to the child will undoubtly confuse him/her when they finally figure out what's going on.
Try to sort yourself out as much as you can. If you plan to keep the child, you are going to need to plan.
I hope this helps. If you need anything, email me.
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2007-02-08 19:11:23 · answer #4 · answered by ♠Gotham♠ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first lose the no good boyfriend. 1.) he does not love you. 2.) he said he would kill the baby. 3.) tell your parents! sit down with them and work out a plan. they are gonna find out anyway. as far as loser boyfriend he may try harming you as well. trust me!!! tell your parents what he said about the baby and get it documented in case something does happen. and don't let him have any visitation rights until the courts order anger management & they deem him fit. as far you/ you play you pay. be responsible & tell your family it may not be as bad as you may think. if my daughter came to me like that id do all i could to help providing he left the picture. only because he threaten to take a life. otherwise i may have helped him as well. dont hide nothing from your parents. now go tell them or let them read this. thank you and take care of that baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-02-08 19:14:04 · answer #5 · answered by greg b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The financial needs of your future baby are YOUR responsiblity... not your parents. You need to wake up and take full responsibility for your actions. You can no longer be a child... you have a life altering, adult decision to make.
If you have decided that you are keeping this baby, you need to tell your parents ASAP.
2007-02-08 19:12:10 · answer #6 · answered by naenae0011 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well,this is definitely a difficult situation...well your parents are going to find out sooner or later and if your child's father decides to do that to you and your child then maybe it's best that he doesn't have him in his life,your ex is missing out.If he's willing maybe you guys should visit a counselor..then you can sit down and discuss this.i mean you didn't do this on your own,it takes two to make a kid.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/
2007-02-08 19:20:17 · answer #7 · answered by sam b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would go to my parents and tell them the truth. I would pray about it. Just be honest with them. Just pray.
2007-02-08 19:03:31 · answer #8 · answered by Prayer Warrior 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i suggest u have an abortion then??? dont you consider this...???
get bk to me... yahoo... rooney92000
2007-02-08 19:01:23 · answer #9 · answered by rooney92000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋