I am in a serious relationship but I have decided to join the Navy. He acts supportive but I know he has second thoughts about our relationship in terms of me being away. I completely understand though and I don't blame him, I'd have the same thoughts. However, I refuse to go on a "break", it's all or nothing. What are your opinions on my situation? Should I stay with him throughout the beginning or should we part ways?
2007-02-08 10:58:18 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This will be up to you, but being in the service was my life before but didn't have a very serious realationship then. If you really love him always knows where your heart is and I think this will be a good test for both of you. Your personal life is different than your profesional life, you have a good head in your shoulder, career and a person that loves you. I think his only thinking how much his going to miss you and (maybe) his a bit afraid that you might meet someone new when you go. If you want to keep him, tell him that theres nothing to worry about, and always remember that life is to short not to get what you wanted in life. Now is your turn to have it both, just assure him where your heart belongs to...I wish you all the best and vonvoyage for the upcoming shipment..
2007-02-08 11:28:03 · answer #1 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough question and I will do the best to answer it well.
Yes you should end the relationship. There will come a time during the course of duty when you might be overseas for months or years. This gets lonely and sooner or later both of you are going to have sex with someone else.
It is natural.
When you are done with the military you will not be the same person you were when you left. If for no other reason then as you grow into your 20s you always change and mature. If you are not together it will be like being with a stranger when you come back.
I will not go into what can happen in the military and what you will see but it definitely opens the doors for some very radical changes.
Be fair to him and to yourself and let it go. When you are done if there is still something there then restart the relationship as a new couple> Don't put him and yourself through lonely nights of wondering what is happening with each other.
That being said there is so much you are going to see and do that is both good and bad. That is something you can share someday and I hope you get back together when it is all done
I hope this helps you some.
2007-02-08 11:45:28 · answer #2 · answered by Robert E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I joined the navy during the Vietnam era. Served 34 consecutive years and retired. I had a girlfriend before i joined, she acted supportive when i enlisted. I joined and i'll tell ya, i'm so grateful i made that decision. It was the right decision and i don't regret it in the least bit.
I never came home after i completed boot camp and my advanced training, and was shipped off to Vietnam "in country" on the swift boats. Needless to say my first letter from my girlfriend after i was in vietnam was a "Dear John" letter.
She had met and married a guy less than 2 months after i'd left for boot camp.
I had a great career, have been all over the world. My experiences i wouldn't trade for anything. It was an adventure and i lived it well.
If i were you, I'd join and if he doesn't stick with you through it all, then you'll know that he wasn't the one you were to spend your life with.
Good Luck.
2007-02-08 11:53:56 · answer #3 · answered by michael_trussell 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should sit down and talk to him. Tell him that you want to be in the navy. Now is the difficult part, you must make up your mind if you want the relationship to continue. If you are commited to him and will stay loyal and see a future, then tell him so. He may or may not feel the same. If you don't really see your future with him, tell him before you go away. It's really what's in your heart that matters, you should go to the navy having no secrets from each other about your future. Good luck call in if you come to Australia
2007-02-08 11:06:29 · answer #4 · answered by smilingtalker_au 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah I think it would be best to seperate for now. Long distance is hard enough but when you are across the world and have literally no time to devote to the relationship than its not good for either side. Say your good byes while its good rather than waiting for years out and you or him resent each other. Live your lives and if its meant to be than you will be back together. But this way allows each person to truly live their life without fear or comittments and thats how life should be. You will already by busy and have your mind full, you do not need to worry about a relationship back at home that you cant do nothing about while you are serving.
take care and God bless
2007-02-08 11:10:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're setting yourself up for a major disaster either with this current relationship or with future relationships. To be as inflexible as you say you want to be is not necessarily a good thing.
Why "part ways"? Just because you may be separated should not mean that you won't communicate with him, acknowledge his presence or act in a way that denies his continued existence. Keep in touch with him as a friend. Sometimes separation can define a relationship. I've sent my wife off to college in other states so she could pursue her education. We stayed in touch with each other. We both certainly had the chance to play around without being caught or to call the marriage off. But it continued to work and still does after 30 years.
Don't write him off so easily. You could be pleasantly surprised at what happens after some time apart.
2007-02-08 11:07:46 · answer #6 · answered by eriurana 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Molly, it sounds like you've talked yourself into breaking it off. Actually, being ex Navy I would say good decision! However, you may want to wait till after boot camp! That's a loooong time before smooches! When you get out of boot, you will wish you had not broken it off. But, after your weeks liberty over, and "E" school lurking in the near future, you will be glad it's over.
2007-02-08 11:22:12 · answer #7 · answered by delux_version 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I parted ways with my BF when I joined the Navy. It was the best decision for me. I truly started to live life when I was in the Navy, and a BF didn't have a place in my life then.
An old Boot camp saying, "If it wasn't issued to you, you don't need it."
2007-02-08 11:02:56 · answer #8 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did ten years.
USCG.
My experience is that maybe you should go in with clean slate.
You are gonna meet people in the Navy.
You are going to be doing different things.
Gonna be a different kind of life.
This is an old old old story.
From my experience and observations you would be better off without BF back at home.
Not that there is anything bad about BF etc.
but
It will only serve to degrade your Navy experience.
This is story as old as the hills....
maybe as far back as ROMAN EMPIRE TIMES!!:):):)
2007-02-08 11:06:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd break it off, I did when I went in and I found it to be a very enjoyable time while in boot camp not worrying about what "my" girl was doing...I saw other guys going nuts because they were worried about thier relationships, it was a joke.
2007-02-08 11:28:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋