Could a recently remembered memory have affected me?

Question

Several monhs ago my step son was accused of molesting his daughter ( my step gradbaby) To make a long story short, one night while this was going on , I was sitting in the tub crying, and all of a sudden it hit me. I remembered quite clearly at about the age of 6 I was molested by an older gentleman that was the night watchman at the factory we lived next to ( i even know his name and he was a friend of my parents) Now I am beginning to think , although i had forgtten this ( for 43 years) , that it has affected my life. I have in the past 3 years quit good jobs for no reason, have become somewhat reclusive , I dam near can't stand having people in the house or around me. I would rather just sit in the house than go out and do the things I use to do. Could it be due to this? I knew something was going on with me emotionally as well as mentally, once I remembered this, I began to wonder if this was the underlying problem. Any suggestions, should I see a doctor?

This happened, i remember clearly when, where, with who and how many times. This man is now dead , as he was in his 60's when this happened. It is not a false memory by all means.

I also remember him telling me that this was how adults show children that they love him, in his heavy dutch accent.

Answer 1

You should probably see a doctor just because you don't do the things you used to do and have become reclusive and want to be alone. These are symptoms of depression. Deep depression can be very debilitating and dangerous and is no way to live life.

I do believe that everything, be it day-to-day life or something wonderful or tragic, has a bearing on how we are today. Your story is unfortunate and I'm sorry that something this tragic has happened in your life. It may or may not be the underlying problem for the way you are feeling. A doctor or qualified counselor could help you out with that.

Good luck and I hope you get to feeling better. Life is too short to not live it to it's fullest.

Answer 2

You should be VERY careful about reading too much into this "memory" of yours.

"Recovered memories," especially those having to do with sexual molestation, have produced a lot of misery for a lot of innocent people.

Most "recovered memories" (which are quite often FALSE memories) are usually induced by suggestion ... usually by a therapist who is predisposed to believing that their client was molested in the past. They can also be induced by a preoccupation with molestation.

This is an excellent example of what is called a "moral panic," which also produced the recent "Satanic Panic" in the late 80s-early 90s. Satanic Panic is believe to be the real story in the case of the West Memphis Three (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/West_Memphis_Three).

Take a look at the infamous McMartin Preschool case (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/McMartin_Preschool). Several teachers were brought up on child molestation charges when there was absolutely no evidence to substantiate any of the accusations. Many of the children produced outrageous tales of child molestation, secret tunnels, animal sacrifice, etc. The one thing all these kids had in common was "recovered memories" which were induced from continual pressure by therapists and parents who were convinced that the kids had been molested. Ultimately, everyone who was charged was acquited. But not before some of them spent as long as two years in jail.

I'm not discounting what may or may not have happened to you. But I would also caution you to be careful about any conclusions or beliefs you might have as a result of this "recovered memory."

Answer 3

It could be that your right and I do feel sorry if it actually happen. Normally something like this can be left prenatally on your ind so I' thinking it could be your own subconscious trying to help you understand what the situation is going on around you. You should go to a doctor or a past life analysis to see if it actually happened first.

Answer 4

Definately see your Doctor who can recommend a therapist. One of my friends recently recovered some unpleasant memories and went into a depression. The way she lived her life had a lot to do with what had happened to her as a child. She is doing better now with some medications and therapy.

Answer 5

YES! Search out a reptutable therapist--a good psychiatric social worker is good with "social issues"--and this is a very constant, over the years, abuse that occurs with children. Don't just toss it off as a "false memory". Your memory may have been triggered off by your step son and the accusation against him of molesting his daughter. ? Seek good help esp. if your step son grew up in your home--at least part of the time. You'll need help in dealing with that alone and it sounds like your abuse as well.

Answer 6

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Answer 7

Yes, the subconscious mind works in mystifying ways.

By all means, protect your mental health and seek the counseling you need/want.

You need peace of mind and closure for this.