why do guys look at porn?

Question

if my husband knows that looking at porn hurts me than why is he doing it behind my back

Answer 1

Most men need visual stimulation.The more you "restrict" him of things, the more he'll hide it. You two need to talk & find some middle ground.
Here's a bit of advice:Compromise in a relationship is like lube, it helps smooth out the rough patches!

Answer 2

he is doing it behind your back because he knows that you will feel hurt and betrayed. I don't know why some men do that. It is so very degrading and disrespectful. It is NOT just a "guy thing". Putting a hat on without brushing his hair first, because he has a hat on, who can tell- that is a guy thing. Having a drawer full of white and black socks so that women don't nag them about their socks not matching, that is a guy thing. Hanging a sheet over the window in-luei of Curtains- that is a guy thing. None of those things are damaging or degrading- looking at porn is and real men who really respect and admire and love the women in their lives don't look at porn. And yes it is just as bad as him having an affair. The only difference is that with Porn- you don't risk STD's..

I also believe that it is an addiction. It is not about sex. I have heard psycologists say that it is an addiction that is harder to kick then like heroine or something. In order to stop he will need counseling and you will need to but content blockers on your computer and closely monitor what you watch on TV. Just liek you would not bring beer into the home of an alcoholic, you shouldn't bring even soft porn into your home. No Victoria secret catalogs or fashion shows, be careful of the movies and showns you watch. Don't subscribe to Sports Illustrated, or opt to not recieve the swimsuit issue, that will put him right back there.

Answer 3

GOOD QUESTION! But before I answer, let me ask YOU a few quesitons first.........Do you and your husband have sex regularly? Or does he have to beg you for it? Do you wear sexy outfits to bed for him? Or do you wear the same old flannel pajamas? Are you adventurous in bed? Willing to try new things? Or does he have to talk you into doing half the things you do? When you're having sex do you make it as hot and exciting as you can? Or are doing it out of obligation?

I crack up at how many women out there complain that their husbands look at porn, don't give them enough attention, don't help out around the house enough, don't respect them enough, blah blah blah when THEY themselves neglect their husbands when it comes to sex! Show me a guy that is getting banged good and hard by his wife 3-4 nights a week and sent to work with a smile on his face each morning, and I'll show you a guy that has little to no use for online porn!

So the real question here is does your husband REALLY have an addiction to porn? Or is this another classic example of a wife forcing her husband to take matters into his own hands because she's not willing to lend one of hers?

Answer 4

Because what he is doing is a selfish thing he is not caring about your feelings at the time he is looking at it and he is doing it behind your back for one of a few reasons. 1. He is embarassed of it. and doesn't want to get ''bitched'' at ''nagged'' whatever.
2. He would rather please himself and is not 100% satisfied with you in bed.

3. Knowing that it bothers you will make him want to sneak behind your back and do it even more.

4. He could find the woman on there more attractive or think they are better and gets more turned on by them.

I would get to the bottom of this problem right away tell him how you are feeling if he doesn't start taking your feelings into consideration that is not a good sign. The spouse should always come before fantasy women and that's that. Im not saying there is anything wrong with fantazing because ALL men do it whether we like it or not. It's one thing to do it but if it interferes with your sex life than there is a big problem and yeah the woman has ever right to be upset and mad.

Answer 5

i differ from the previous answers. i think if something such as that is a real concern for you then you should talk with him about it, maybe see what it is about it he enjoys. first find out why it bothers you. is your sex life lacking? do you feel he wants someone other than you? do you have insecurities you may not be aware of? I would definitely look into these things. but in my opinion, if he knows it bothers you and he continues to do so, then I would be very unhappy about that. I mean really, why is porn so important ?

Answer 6

Because they are never happy with what they got?

Seriously, all guys do it. I would say at least 97 % of them.

I don't like it, but I can deal with a little of it here and there.
It's when it's every day for 3 to 4 hours when he's supposed to be working, that it gets out of hand....
or if he isn't being intimate with you because he's all into that too much.

I don't know why they have to fill their heads with such perfection all the time, but it's just their way.

Men should consider our feelings in this field, but sadly, a lot of them don't. We should also be willing to compromise....like saying how many days we can "deal" with him looking at it, even though we don't want him to....and he should be willing to compromise as well, but those that get hooked into this fiercely won't compromise, and they just do more and more, then graduate to sex lines, phone erotica, dating online services for it....
I hope you find a way to work this out with your husband.

Answer 7

Guys look at porn simply because they are visual individuals. I think it's degrating to women personally. However, I agreed to watch it with him and honestly, I didn't watch it, but he was more into the sex. Perhaps you can try it. Good luck!

Answer 8

If the two of you are giving each other what you need and desire in the way of pleasure, it's nothing you should be worrying about.

Both men and women enjoy additional forms of erotica - stories, audio, visual.

There's no reason for you to be threatened by his preferences.

If you have some specific issue with erotica, you should discuss it with him, but what he's doing is not odd, weird, perverted or any other negative thing.

Answer 9

i would not worry about looking at porn- let him. it is not a big deal really- watch it with him- and talk to him about it- maybe it could bring some other fun in your relationship-try new things. no for real- that is nothing wrong with looking at porn.

Answer 10

Men are visually wired. We know this. And it will always hurt us as women. We don't understand why they do this, and we may never understand why.

Your husband does it behind your back for one reason: he knows it hurts you. Lying about pornography is simply to avoid hurting the wife. My husband and I went through this 6 months into our marriage. He lied about it for months. He didn't want to hurt me.

It sounds like your husband has a sexual addiction. Which is pretty common and most people will tell you to "get over it," and "just deal with it, that's how men are."

You don't have to just deal with it. Marriage is about loving someone selflessly and respecting them wholeheartedly. If your husband doesn't understand your pain and respect you enough to be honest with you, you need to discuss this with him.

He needs to understand that marriage is not about "him" it's about both "you and him." If this hurts you, he needs to make an effort to quit, not just by hiding it behind your back.

There are plenty of ways to safeguard this problem. Set up filters on your computer. www.pureonline.com or check out www.xxxchurch.com.

Lust is everywhere in this world. Overcoming porn isn't easy. And you will be hurt throughout the process. But it is possible if your husband is willing.

I know from experience.