I know it sounds stupid, but i have recently split from my boyfriend who used to get violent with me. i now every one is gonna say forget him, move on with ya life. I now i am better off without him, it just dont feel like that tho.Do u think somthing is wrong with me? I cant get him out of my head and I miss him loads. i think about him 24-7. Do u think i will ever love again or will i always be a doubtfull person? some onehelp please?
2007-02-08 09:39:30 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
there is NOTHING wrong with you. that is COMPLETELY normal for people that have been in abusive relationships emotionally or physically. You will love again, but i would be very careful cause us women tend to repeat the same cycle as before. Its okay to think about him, no matter how bad he hurt you it doesn't mean that you love him. You don't have to forget about him but you do have to move on, its okay to hurt and its okay to cry you will get out of it. I got out of an (emotionally) abusive relationship and it really helped to talk to a counselor
2007-02-08 09:44:34 · answer #1 · answered by *Cole* 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Someone who has a great deal of control in your life whether it is positive or negative is going to leave a void. Hopefully with support and growing confidence you will realise, he wasn't worthy of your love. With Love comes mutual respect, violent partners male or female have no real respect for the person the are abusing, your confidence has taken a dip, its not uncommon with physical abuse there is mental/emotional abuse. Often the reason the abused partner stays is because "they Love" the abusive partner and because of the dynamics of being abused they are left with a sense of dependence upon the abuser, once the cycle is broken it is the time to heal. Its not an over night thing. Some need professional counselling, other recover with the support of families and friends. Two years on, I'm lucky I got out early, but not before I was left with a Permanent back problem, I spent over 12 months thinking Id never trust another man again, here I am in a loving positive relationship.
If you have found yourself in a cycle of negative relationships get some support, check out a local group (check with your GP, they're confidential and will have other support group details) where other people can support you and remind you, now you are out. You are a survivor not a victim. You will love again. You do deserve better.
Good Luck.
2007-02-08 10:05:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a gf that was controlling & violent towards me when she had a few drinks, or if I spoke to another woman she would start flashing her boobs, once she dropped her panties at a new years party so all the guys could see what she had.
I found it hard to leave as she was on my case all the time. One day I took a sick day off, went home when she had gone to work herself, removed my personal items, clothes & tools mainly, & never went back, I changed my cell number, got an apartment on my own & now after 18 months I finally feel free enough to move forward.
I never called her or ever went near her suburb, I even changed my car so she could not recognize me.
Dont go back to VIOLENCE, its not good for the long term mental health, & yes this will affect you in future relationships, because you are allowing this to happen to you, you are excepting his violent attitude to you,
your life though
2007-02-08 11:57:35 · answer #3 · answered by devilinme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with you, im sure in the relationship you had good times and whatever and however a relationship ends we all think of the good times to start with.. Its sad that any meaningful relationship has to end but in time you will see that this man could not and does not deserve to be with you.. You do not hit someone you respect or love.. It will take a little time but you will get over him and find someone else that will treat you right!
2007-02-08 09:46:59 · answer #4 · answered by Bobby J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel....I was in the same position a couple years ago. It will hurt for a while, quite a while but you just need to keep yourself busy. I feel bad for you but no matter what good things you feel about him do your best to push those feelings out of your head with all the bad things he put you through. It is hard to remember the bad and forget the good once you aren't together. Best of luck to you and please don't forget the bad until your heart heals!
2007-02-08 09:47:56 · answer #5 · answered by Jennifer M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
of course yew will love again!!! beleive me right now...he is just as sad as yew if not more, just chill for a while, then get back out into the dating world, always be surrounded by yer friends so it doesnt feel as if he was yer everything, cause if he was he wouldnt hurt yew, he ahs his own probs its not yew!
2007-02-08 09:43:48 · answer #6 · answered by &d. i. l. i. hawt; 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you call him up and talk to him about the things he has done to you I think it will help a lot. If he still loves you to then he will be willing to comprorise
2007-02-08 09:44:58 · answer #7 · answered by Elizabeth A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand!! it is okay to feel this way... he is what you know, he is who you are familiar with. I know it feels like you will never get this comfortable with anyone else but you will. bear with it!! don't go back to him!!(so easy to say,so hard to do) this to shall pass....
2007-02-08 09:46:33 · answer #8 · answered by ☠Naz☠ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You loved him but he is not the one for you.
2007-02-08 09:42:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋