Too apologetic?

Question

I apologize for everything, even if it's not my fault. If someone steps on me, I apologize. I'm perpetually terrified that I'm in the way and always feel as though I'm bothering people or not worthy to speak to them. Wherever I go, I always try to condense myself into the smallest space possible. It drives me crazy, it drives my parents crazy, it drives my boyfriend crazy. I used to be really self-confident, but I don't know what happened. I'm something of a klutz and always get in really bizarre accidents (example: I once got third-degree burns on my face from a flaming marshmallow). I come from a good, stable background. I'm overly submissive and I'm tired of it. Does anyone else have this problem or any suggestions on how I can overcome it?

There's no trauma that I can think of. I just recently noticed how bad I've gotten about this and it's really annoying me.

Answer 1

i have a friend who is just like this, so you are not alone! but it is a tough problem to overcome...i think it would link it to low self esteem... but it is difficult to solve cos even though you realise it is a problem and there is no need to behave this way it is still hard to overcome... i'd say talk to someone who has studied psychology or they'll surely be some students on here!

Answer 2

Well, you sound sure of yourself - and that's the first step!! Try doing little things to get you more used to taking charge or at least so you get more comfortable interacting with people. When you and your boyfriend go out - with him there so you feel more comfortable - why don't you handle the asking for things and interaction with servers, hosts, salespeople, etc. It's little, but it's something.

I do the apoligizing thing when someone steps on my foot too - i think it's just a verbal response before i have time to decode what happened. I too have klutzy stories aplenty. :) don't even get me started on the time with the caramel apple and the 3rd degreee burn on my lip.

If you take it step by step and interaction by interaction, it will make more sense than if you get overwhelmed by the big picture and everything you do in all situations all at once. take the second to check your body language and reposition youself, or to note it when you say I'm sorry, being aware of it will help you to get used to not just doing it without thinking.

And if it becomes something that interrupts your life, find someone to talk to more in depth about it. There are probably underlying reasons or experiences that taught you (without you noticing) to act this way.

good luck!

Answer 3

As hard as it may seem you need to confront everything you are fearful of, that is the ONLY way to get through this. If you encounter a situation that you feel your opinion doesn't matter, then you have to speak it anyway, that is when you will see that voicing your opinion will NOT hurt you or make you feel less important or bothersome. I am reading a book "The Confident Woman" by Joyce Meyer, you should get this book , it will help you through your "fear." Don't let fear control your life and stop you from experiencing everything you want to. The only way to conquer fear is to face it head on and you will see that it will lose its power over you, only YOU have the control to do that. Also, stop beating yourself up and calling yourself a "klutz" you are NOT a "klutz" you are a confident woman who sometimes makes mistakes.....that is a better way to refer to yourself, never refer to any aspect of YOU as derogatory, always lift yourself up and that is how you will regain your confidence.

Answer 4

LOL..... I think we are the same.
I also say ''sorry'' very easy for every single little unimportant things in this life. I often really wonder why I cannot shut my mouth for saying sorry all the time?
Don't worry you are not the only one who apologize all the time. I am too apologetic as well like you.... hehehe... Even sometimes people get boring to hear me say sorry all the time. Even I feel myself like a dope or loony at the end, asking my own self why in the hell I say sorry for such unimportant things? What's wrong with me? And you know what? Not only saying sorry, I do also say ''thank you'' all the time - for every little thing. Someone calls me I say thank you, etc. True. I wonder what is so wrong with me? Why I can't be like other people who never say sorry and thank you easily. Grrrrrr..... I am honestly so sick of this over apologetic behavior.
Glad to know I am not the only one who are too apologetic for everything. Thanks....

Answer 5

Sounds like you are suffering from a mild case of attention deficit disorder. You must train your mind to keep your attention in the here and now. In other words if your attention wanders, bring
your consciousness gently back to the task at hand. It is no use being harsh with yourself.
Only apologise if you caused someone actual bodily harm, just because you are in their way is no cause to apologise. If you happen to be of obstruction, remove yourself from their way and leave it at that.
Meditation and some form of martial arts training would help.

Answer 6

Was there ever any trauma in your life that made you this way? Going from self-confident to meek and, er, sorry, is a really dramatic change. Go talk to a psychologist or something if it's a real problem.

Answer 7

when someone goes from being self confident to feelings of insignificasce,low self esteem, there was obviously some trigger that caused the change,since you claima stable upbringing ,your change must have been on a sub consious level,truthfully you need to see a counselor to identify what happend,and begin to re build your self esteem ,by a goal setting program, too detailed to go into here ,just see a thearpist.

Answer 8

im not sure what it is i used to do it. but what helped me is to stop caring what ppl think. if u do something that is ur fault or not. let go and quit worrying. i think its only a confidince issue its not anything wrong with u. u may depressed.
if u want to talk u can email me.

Answer 9

did something tramattic ever happend when you were younger.
sound to me youre scared of the world and are suffering from panic attacks go see a docterthat just might be the problem.
check it out.