It's my house and I pay all the bills. We've been in a relationship for almost 6 years and I welcome my boyfriend into my home, He even has the key. Lately however he seems to have this power trip about who I talk to and even who I invite into MY home. I work taking care of an elderly disabled couple and they have 2 grandsons ages 14 and 16. At one time one of them babysat my sons and my boyfriend says he's no longer to babysit because he's gay (the teenager) and has looked at some "inappropriate" material on my computer. The other day when it was like -3 degrees out with a windchill of -25 the 16yr old walked to a friend's house who lives near my home. Due to the cold he stopped and asked if he could come in for awhile and I said sure. My kids were there. I did housework and he hung out with my boys then left. My boyfriend hit the fan when he got home after hearing the voice over th phone & I wasn't quick enough to say who it was. He got mad, I said go home & stay there for awhile
2007-02-08 09:11:40 · 17 answers · asked by chocolate_luv_bunny 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sorry to say but it sounds like your boyfriend is turning into a control freak and what he wants to control is YOU. You need to set him straight NOW, send him on his way, or prepare yourself for further control. He is not your boss and has no right to tell you who you can and cannot see. It is your decision who babysits your children and do not ever let anyone tell you otherwise.
2007-02-08 09:17:32 · answer #1 · answered by soxy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Neither one of you is wrong. He has an opinion: he doesn't like these teenage boys, one of whom is gay and surfs your internet for "inappropriate material," hanging around in your house. It doesn't matter how often he is there or whatever. This is just a situation he is uncomfortable with. You have to figure out how much you respect his opinion/feelings and whether or not you agree with him even a little bit. Try to see it from his point of view: would you want teenage girls hanging at his place? You can compromise or put your foot down and allow the boys to stay; either way, it's just a decision. But I would not allow him to be abusive, yell, insult you, or throw a tantrum over this. That's a separate problem if he's treating you like that.
2007-02-08 09:32:49 · answer #2 · answered by lizzgeorge 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have little boys & your boyfriend is the babydaddy, then I understand his viewpoint! If you guys have lived together this long & you've given him a key, regardless of his contributions, then you inadvertantly, gave him a voice in the decisions to made in your household. Now, I don't know if you get to be the deciding factor in his home, but if you don't, then I'd definitely bring that double standard attitude of his, to his attention! But if you are paying all of the bills, then you should be calling all the shots, it's just that simple! Because in my eyes, your boyfriend is just another guest, & you were right to send him packing!!!
2007-02-08 09:30:15 · answer #3 · answered by chevy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While it's your home, he's been your boyfriend for almost 6 years. That's a long time. You should have some respect for how he feels. Talk to him. Find out exactly why he feels what he feels. And compromise with him. Give and take. If he doesn't tell you what his deal is or refuses to compromise once you've calmly and rationally explained your side, then you may need to reconsider the relationship.
2007-02-08 09:17:55 · answer #4 · answered by Eowyn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your boyfriend is stressed at the boys being exposed to something they shouldn't be exposed to by these babysitters. Sounds like he cares about your kids a lot and that's great. Have a talk to those babysitter boys, they shouldn't be looking at stuff like that on your computer. Set boundaries and rules. But you are right, it is your home and if you are comfortable with most aspects of those kids, it's up to you. Try to talk to the boyfriend, cuz he is your boyfriend whom you care about. What exactly is his fear? Is it baseless?
2007-02-08 09:25:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are right! Tell your bf if he wants to have a say (not THE say) in what goes on at your home, then he needs to make a commitment and move in and pay half or more of the bills, then you will consider what he has to say about what goes on in a home that belongs to you both!
2007-02-08 09:22:05 · answer #6 · answered by wish I were 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's your house, you make the rules! If he's like this now just imagine what he will be like when you get married or after 15 years of being together. Try and talk to him and set some ground rules. If he doesn't want to follow them then ask him not to stay there.
2007-02-08 09:16:56 · answer #7 · answered by JC 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your boyfriend needs to be reminded that it is your home and you pay the bills..also sounds like he is turning into a control person..I would set the rules with him when he is in YOUR HOME...Let him know that he can say who can come and go in HIS home and you will say who can come and go in YOUR home..I hope this has been of some help to you
2007-02-08 09:21:21 · answer #8 · answered by charmed4412 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's your kids, your house, your rules. After six years it doesn't sound like your boyfriend has any plans except to let you foot the bills and allow him access to your home and your life. I'd start by getting my key back. It'll get easier after that!
2007-02-08 09:39:58 · answer #9 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure it's a matter of being right or wrong; but more a matter of whether you are will to deal with that type of behaviour; he has a key to your house, so I presume you are serious with him...is that really the type of relationship you want to deal with day in and day out....that's the question you should be asking yourself.
2007-02-08 09:29:03 · answer #10 · answered by abc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋