Okay here is the deal my best guy friend is getting a divorce. I was very close to him and his wife well EX now and their children( I was their babysitter sometimes) Well our whole group is kinda flirtacious with each other because we are just open like that. Well now that he is getting a divorce he is asking me to basically help him through it. Well my friends and I think there is something more to it. He asks to hold my hand and text me all the time and he told me that I need to tell him it's okay to sleep with other people? What's up with that?? There has always been i dunno an attracton between us i guess. When we hang out he hugs me alot and I told him I don't support him on dating until his divorce is final. We have become very close and i'm not sure if he wants more or maybe just friends? When we go out for drinks and such he tells me that I can't get drunk because he would have to take advantage of me? Also he rubs my knee and tickles me sometimes?? Advice please mature only!!
2007-02-08 09:09:05 · 24 answers · asked by cyan_8199 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Okay Honestly I'm not ready for a relationship now. See i'm going back to school and I am moving. He is my neighbor and now he is sad I am moving I know he is not ready for a relationship but then again neither am I but really good advice everyone!!! Thank you
2007-02-08 09:20:35 · update #1
NO head games. It sounds like he needs reassurance, TOO often! He does not sound like he is settled down enough to be single in a healthy way ..much less in a relationship. Finding someone who is secure in themselves enough to know what they need to do in their personal life is what you want. Someone who can be "real" while they are adjusting to a new way of life (Divorce) and thinking. It is scary that he has children and is acting like an insecure teen. He should know the answer to sleeping with someone after a break up...After all being with someone in that way should be a decision not made lightly or on a whim of is it OK...it should be OK...when both people involved are both "ready" for that step in the relationship.Set your expectations to where you do not have to guess what he wants...you should always expect no less than you are willing to give...no games..no flattery just realism ...anyone can flirt just to get something out of it...the real thing is when you are trying to know who someone is and if there is a chance of a friendship or more!
2007-02-08 11:13:29 · answer #1 · answered by Naynay 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most answers are pretty good advice, but I have one thing to add--remember that because he has been married, obviously had some real problems, is now soon-to-be-divorced, the sooner he is in another relationship, the more baggage from the old relationship he will be bringing with him to the new relationship. You are better off being supportive, but keeping close relational things at bay, at least until he gets on more of an even keel. The more time he has to work out some of his "stuff", the healthier he will be emotionally, and able to contribute to the health of a relationship, rather than bringing emotional garbage with him.
2007-02-08 09:25:15 · answer #2 · answered by Gumbi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like anything, the "new has worn off" and you need to focus on just having a strong relationship. As time progresses you find more and more reasons why you love each other and can focus on true happiness. There are plenty of things you can do to spice up your love life which are pretty simple. I would suggest you get some books and do some reading or simply have a heart to heart talk about romance. Marriages and relationships do not fail because the newness wears off, they simply progress into a stronger state where the couple is really focused on the joy of being together. I have been married for four years
2016-05-23 22:31:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
back off.. he is asking for trouble and you don't want to be in the middle and since your friends with a group and the ex wife it would start something you just don't need or want right now you don't know how bad this will get and you don't want to be in the cross fire. trust me if its gets ugly you will be part of it if the wife thinks things and hear and see things.. step back let it go and tell him to talk to the guys of the group and stay away from all of it till its all done and over then maybe reevaluate...this is coming from a 30 something and seen this same thing and it was not pretty for no one...
2007-02-08 09:16:58 · answer #4 · answered by tlcoufan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This jerk is wanting to have sex with you and he's still a married man. There is nothing right about this and you need to look somewhere else for a friend. If your group flirted like that it's no wonder he's getting a divorce. That is inappropriate behavior for all of you. WHY are you letting him touch you when you are supposedly friends with his wife too. That doesn't sound like a friend I'd want. I think some growing up is called for here.
2007-02-08 09:15:21 · answer #5 · answered by missingora 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
in such times, both men and women look for a reliefer.. you've got to understand that all his feelings now are full of confusion and uncertainty.. if you're really interested in the guy.. keep some distance until he's on his feet again.. if he gets more open about it, explain that you'd rather prefer to be just a friend until he knows what he really wants..
2007-02-08 09:19:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's flirting with you, but he's probably also emotionally unstable and vulnerable due to the divorce. If you do like him as more than a friend, go slow because he might not be sure what he really wants right now.
2007-02-08 09:14:47 · answer #7 · answered by me! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously he is interested in you, and from his track record he doesn't seem like a "true love" type of person. Why would you want to get involved with someone that will only rip more of your heart from you, when it is meant for only one person?
My husband is my soul-mate. Marriage isn't always easy, but he is everything I ever wanted. You obviously don't want to date right now, and this person obviously isn't the right one for you (regardless of how much attraction is there) so why continue?
Explain to him that you cannot discuss his personal life with him, and if he wants to be friends the flirting needs to end. If he doesn't respect this than his friendship is pointless anyway. If he does, keep boundaries.
Stop flirting with men in general. Prepare your heart for the right one, who will come along one day and not want a girl that flirts with every guy she talks to.
Self-respect is important. Show that to this guy, and every other guy you come in contact with.
2007-02-08 09:55:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
as a guy, ill tell you that he wants some. He probably isnt getting much sex from the ex, and he's getting sexually frustrated. Thats not to say that you two couldnt have a relationship for more than a night, but sex is what is on his mind now that he is single again.
2007-02-08 09:13:31 · answer #9 · answered by rand a 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's never, ever a good idea to get involved w/ a friend's ex. Also, it's never a good idea to get involved w/ a friend b/c if you break up, you lose not only a bf but you lose a close friend as well. You run the risk of losing them both.
2007-02-08 09:38:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋