Made the right decision?

Question

I was dating my bf for a long time and then I met this great guy. For the first time I was able to talk in a long while. I always wanted to know what's out there, and I couldn't talk to my bf about it. We broke up and for a year my bf tried while I was developing feelings even stronger for this guy. I know my ex loves me to death. I picked the new guy and just left my ex without telling him anything, but I wonder is it novelty, fate, am I delusional? I don't want my ex to move on, but I can't stop this attraction to another. I feel as though I put my ex in a situation he couldn't win. Did I make a mistake b/c I can't get over my ex. Could this fail with my new love.

Answer 1

From the sounds of it your ex was your first serious boyfriend. Because of this it will be hard to let go of that security however, by holding onto that feeling you are sabatoging yourself. I'm sure you find yourself thinking about how things would be if you were back together and the like. By doing this you are not allowing yourself to open up completely to new experiences and relationships. The reason you don't want your ex to move on is most likely because you like the security of knowing if your relationship fails with your new guy then he is there as a fall back. This is not fair to any of you, including your new guy. You need to take a step back and let yourself become more open to the world around you. If you go back to your ex you may find yourself in the same situation again. Typically when you break up with someone there is a reason behind it. People do not change, situations do. Allow yourself the ability to enjoy life and the changes that happen. Do not second guess yourself because that will only lead to bigger problems. If your ex is your first love then know this; we always remember our first. Till you're old and gray you will always remember. This does not mean that it will get in the way of your new relationship or future ones. It simply means that they will always have a special place in your heart. Let him have that special place but leave the rest of it open for others. Trust me, when you open yourself up to your new guy you'll see your world in a whole new light. Good luck in life and love.

Answer 2

You have had some really good advice so far..I guess all I could really said be careful because this could all blow up in your face. You made a decision and now you should stick to it. If you want your new guy then let your ex go..don't say things to keep him hanging on with the thought of getting back with you..this is not fair to him or your new guy. If you want your ex then you need to let the new guy know how you feel. You are doing what alot of people talk about..wanting your cake and eating it too..just be careful that you don't eat to much and make yourself sick.

Answer 3

It sounds like you're trying to have it all. In the end you will get hurt. You sound like you need to have this attraction, but if and when it fizzles out with the other guy, is there anything left to hold you two together, or is it just the excitement you're urning for? If that's the case, you are only hurting yourself, cause in the end, the fizzle will run out. But the relationship you seem to want or NEED is with the ex.

Answer 4

if you can't get over your ex and he can't get over you and you even have this great guy now that is not causing you to get over your ex then there must be something between you two. and if you aren't over your ex then your relationship with this new guy is never going to work out. i say get rid of him and try again with the ex. and this is the only situation where i will say that. because if you are wondering if you made the right decision this long after it happened, chances are you didn't. but you can fix it.