Have been married for 20 years. Thought I had a pretty good marriage. Regular ups and downs like everyone else. Recently spouse inherited 20 acres of land from a deceased relative. However, land has to be subdivided. There are a couple of other relatives who own portions of this land. Spouse is a smoker, with chronic health issues, who refuses to quit. I asked spouse if they would be willing to speak with an attorney and have my name put on the land, since it is shared with other people, and because I want to make sure that our family interests were protected. I was stunned at the response I got. I was told that nothing would be left to me. It would go to the children and the spouses siblings. My question is, after being a GOOD wife and mother of all these years, does it sound like he does not love me? For the first time, I am considering a divorce. I feel like we have been living a lie. He says he loves me, but, I don't feel like he is looking out for me.
2007-02-08 08:16:16 · 9 answers · asked by Jaysgirl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
For someone that loves you and has been with you for 20 years, I am sorry but that was a very hurtful thing to say..
For one your name should be put on it,Because your entitled to it by being HIS spouse..
Maybe you should try talking to him about this again? Let him know how this had made you feel..Don't throw away 20 years of marriage, Especially since its been a good marriage
Good Luck
2007-02-08 08:33:39 · answer #1 · answered by Shem 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I wouldn't toss out a 20 year marriage over this, even though it sounds like he's had brain damage or something.
In most locales, martial assets are joint. It's already your land as much as it is his.
Talk to him again. Figure out what the heck this is about. Any chance you misunderstood him? If your marriage has been good I would give the benefit of the doubt and give him a chance to fix up his answer or explain himself.
2007-02-08 08:26:05 · answer #2 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, I'm really sorry to hear this. I don't really know what to say. Without knowing your husband it is very difficult to judge what he is thinking. The only thing that I can suggest is that if you are really bothered about this and are seriously thinking about ending your 20 year marriage over it, then you need to talk to him about it again. Tell him how you feel and let him know that you aren't just interested in money or land or whatever, but that you feel like he dosn't care enough about you to ensure that you are going to be ok if he passes.
Good luck.
2007-02-08 08:23:47 · answer #3 · answered by Nik 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean---my siblings tried to talk my mother into disinheriting me, too. She didn't do it, but it was very hurtful. My mother has since passed and they no longer speak to me.
I would be crushed if my husband did that to me. Even though his share is going to the kids, it's like he considers you a non-entity. I don't know about a divorce, but I would consult a lawyer to find out what the joint property laws are in your state. You may automatically own his share if he dies.
I would also try some counseling, and if he won't go then you go. You need to rebuild your self-esteem and figure out where your relationship is going. As other posters have said, if you divorce him while he still owns the land, he'll HAVE to give you half.
Good luck.
2007-02-08 09:28:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not for nothing but if this land has been in his family for a long time I can understand leaving it to the children and sibling. You are his wife, yes and a good wife I'm sure but you are not in his bloodline. I think you should be greatful that your children will inherit the land and leave it at that.
2007-02-08 08:25:50 · answer #5 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This ebook might help you to understand what's wrong in your relationship and It also teaches what to do to try saving your marriage http://savemarriage.toptips.org
It helped me alot!
2014-09-25 22:46:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st thing is MONEY IS EVIL!! Money does funny things to people, the worst always comes out. Talk to him, tell him how you feel.
Tell him this is not about the money, property etc this has to do with feelings and how he hurt yours.
2007-02-08 09:32:20 · answer #7 · answered by sbratt2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stun him back with a divorce and get your half .
2007-02-08 08:25:17 · answer #8 · answered by healing wings 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well,
if you cant get it some of it after he has passed.........get a lawyer and get it all now
2007-02-08 08:37:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋