my gf of 8 years just broke up with me again. Same reasons, to travel and live more before settling down. Infact she is going away for about 3 months from the 19th of Feb. She apologised for putting me through this crap a second time, told me she still loved me but just cant give me what i want right now. I was hurt and told her not to contact me so i can move on with my life. This is still my intention but if she did happen to feel as though she made the wrong decision i would hope she would contact me and talk to me. So should i clear up the no contact thing or would she call if she really wanted to sought things out? Also is it better i have no contact to keep her wondering on what i am doing because i know she would have expected me to call her by now and that is probably stewing on her mind.
2007-02-08 08:14:07 · 8 answers · asked by whitey 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I have been in the exact same situation, and it was so unhealthy for me. I'm a guy and the harder you fight, the more it's going to make things worse. You should take the time to figure some things out as well. I checked your profile and you seem consumed by this. I know you love her to death and you just want to slap her and say wake up. I see a therapist now and she offers a different perspective. You are worried she will move on to someone else. But believe in your history, and have some confidence in yourself.
I know guys only give there hearts out to only one person. And you don't want to start all over again when you felt like you got so close, but look at the bigger picture. She needs to figure things out. She might come back, she might not.
Right now, you are not enough for her to stay. You are a fighter and I am the same way. We feel we need to or else all is lost. She knows you are trying, but why isn't she? She gives you an opportunity to fight, but is she fighting as well during that time?
What you NEED is not being provided by her. You find yourself loving herself more b/c you are watching her slip away. You are scared as hell. But if you love her, you gotta let her figure things out. If she comes back she will come back 100% and that is the love you want. The only problem is if you decide to date, that's ok.
You will deal with that when the time comes. You never know you might find someone to give you even more, and your ex will be kicking herself for not realizing it sooner.
The more you fight, the more she has control of the situation and time on her hands. If she wants to be with you, she will forget about the no contact thing and fight for her life for you.
You should be pissed, don't give up so much of yourself to the point you lose your identity. I pray for you and me. But remember if it doesnt work out, we will find better where people are true. Its the history that holds us to these confused girls.
2007-02-09 12:41:54 · answer #1 · answered by Need Answers 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best advice I can give you is that your 8 year relationship isn't going to survive the game you want to play with her. You want to keep her wondering about not contacting you. Playing games isn't going to get you anywhere. Say what you mean, and think before you speak, and stick to what you plan to do.
2007-02-08 08:18:47 · answer #2 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its obvious your love is too deep for her ... and maybe she loves you too. but why bother AGAIN..whats the gurantee she wont leave you for the third time >?
if you are really smitten by her then i think you have to be strong and move on ... 'cos im sure you are worthy to get someone who will never walk off from your life ....like this. let her be. get over her ... cherish her but liberate yourself ... easier said than done ... but give it a shot, good luck.
2007-02-08 08:20:22 · answer #3 · answered by barley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if this is the second time dude u need to move on. she is confused, unsecured and she is a heart breaker. no matter how much u love her u have to let her go and hopefully if it's meant to be she will come back to u.
2007-02-08 08:22:13 · answer #4 · answered by ivelisse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say move on with ur life and soon she will move on with her life too. so jsut give it time and if she really cares about u she would have called by now.
2007-02-08 08:18:14 · answer #5 · answered by Angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump her or prepare to do get this up and down treatment forever.
2007-02-08 08:33:56 · answer #6 · answered by tewarienormy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought you said you were moving on...so do it and don't look back. No conditions.
2007-02-08 08:19:45 · answer #7 · answered by me! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
duh you must contact her and tell her you die to be together again
she'll love it!
2007-02-08 08:19:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋