The person you are??

Question

What do you do if you do not like the person you have become? How do you get back to the old you?

Answer 1

First of all, you stop thinking there was an "old you". This only keeps one looking back to an unattainable past instead of meeting the challenges of changing today.

There are three A's in dealing with problems we see in ourselves: Awareness, Acceptance, Action.

One must become aware of what no longer works, what habits one would like to change. Then one must accept that one is this way, that one has these habits. Sometimes the harder we try to change ourselves before we've come to accept ourselves actually reinforces the problems instead of helping one to solve them. Plus, if one is reacting to the problem one sees in one's self, then one tries to force solutions that are not going to solve the problem... we tend to think in destrorted ways when we try to hard to change. The next step after acceptance is action. The key to action is the acceptance because the action one takes will be less drastic and more of a habit forming change... They always say you change a bad habit by practicing a good one.If I want to go from not working out to working out, I can't start with the 100lb weights (or 50kg weights if you don't use American measuring). I must start with the small hand weights and work my way up. Likewise with changing bad habits. Some rules of thumb: Slowly but surely, progress not perfection, live and let live, remembering "how important is it?" in the midst of a "crisis", etc.

A counselor can be of assistance too and even 12 step groups for problems ranging from drug addiction to alcohol, from codependency to being the child of someone with an addictive personality.

Answer 2

There really is no "going back". There is simply moving foward. If you do not like the person you have become ask yourself what it is that you do not like about yourself. What got you to that point? What mistake(s) did you make? Asess the mistake(s) you made, learn from it and move forward. The "old you" is just that "old". You can start over and become a "new" you. I say this because even if we are able to go back in time to the person we were before, the "damage" of experience we have been through is already done. You cannot change that as your mind has already been affected. It is hard to explain here without going on and on for years. Best thing i can say is simply to focus on any good you do from now on and anything you dislike simply toss aside and let go and throw it away. Remember not to let it happen again. Before you know it you will be back to the "old you" so to speak only a better and more mature "old you". So it won't really be "old you" it will be new and improved you! ; )

Answer 3

You never loose the habits that serve your highest good but they can be overshadowed (lay dormant) by destructive habits that you might acquire along the way. I normally put things into perspective by appreciating the detour and reminding myself that true choice comes only when one realizes (discovers) what they want by experiencing what they do not want. In a way, it helps when I look at the errors I make as tutors and helpers to my becoming a better person other than mistakes. The old you is still very much you. You have just lost practice. It is like swimming/ riding a bike - you never truly forget though it might feel awkward when you go for a dive/ ride after a long time without practice. Now you know for sure what you'd rather be. Very few people realize that they have a choice. It is good you miss yourself....get in touch again. Good luck.

Answer 4

Reealizing this is half of the resolution. You know what you want to become, the old you, it's not some amorphous unattainable thing. Figure out what motivated you back then, what was important, what values system you had all of that and see where you strayed away. Work toward your goal by journaling and applying a conscious effort to become the person you want to be.

Answer 5

Well-you are still you. Just now you are a person who has had more life experience and has changed and grown. That doesn't have to be bad. It is all in what you DO with that growth. Learn from bad experiences and dont repeat them. If you don't like where you are now-change. Go small-pick one thing you want to improve on. And don't just say "I will be nicer" do it. Go out and volunteer to help others-your talents can be used just about anywhere. If you don't like to interact with people, then vol to help an agency keep their books or vol for a planning comittee. What do you feel you lost touch with? If it is youth, well that happens and you have to accept we all get older. You can still laugh and have fun and do things that made you happy. I plan to ride roller coasters till I'm 90-unless I shrink so much I don't meet the hieght limit.

Answer 6

youo cant you have to keep moving forward think what made you like you are now and what is it what you dont like your self then ask your self who was i back then or who did i think i was back then and why was i like that what made like that back then then learn from it accept it and understand then you can use it to become a even better person than ever

Answer 7

lol funny i went throught that!
don't think you'll ever go back hense the past thing
but you can do some soul searching to find out who you are and change into who you want to be!
Coping.org helps with that!
text based site asking tons of questions!

Answer 8

Going in reverse is never a good idea. Forward progress is measured on a daily basis. are you wanting the "old you" or is it more from other influences?

Answer 9

Only God can change your heart...repent from your sins and believe that the Lord Jesus Christ rose from the dead, and you will be saved! See here for details:

http://geneva.rutgers.edu/src/christianity/gospel.html

;)

Answer 10

You make changes in your choices. Good luck and God bless****