Did my married friend get played?

Question

Okay, I know that this is so wrong and so does my friend, but she has been emailing and messing around with a married man and she is also married, both with children. He tells her how sexy she is and that he wants to leave his wife and be with her but recently my friend ran across an email that he had sent to another girl asking when they could meet up and have a beer. My friend has real feelings for this guy but I think he's just leading her on to see what he can get. Is he playing her or does he have feelings for her, as well?

Answer 1

I have been in your friend's shoes, i understand how easily it is to get caught up and like the attention another man is paying to you. However, your friend needs to just leave the jerk alone and focus on her own marriage and appreciate what she has!!

Answer 2

He's playing her hardcore. I dont know why people think that they are somehow special and different. If he's cool with cheating on his current wife, he would be perfectly cool with cheating on her. I know that there are some rare occasions in which this is not the case, but it is very, very rare. Kind of like, you cant get pregnant without having sex. Yeah, there is evidence of women who, through some freak hormonal thing, produced a sperm inside their uterus and impregnated themselves, but its very, very rare. If he truely cared about her, he would leave his wife and then pursue the relationship. The same is true for her. If she truely cared about him she would leave her husband then pursue the relationship with him. Even if they bost have the best intentions, how will they ever trust each other? They each already know the other has cheated in the past, there will always be doubts there.
And please dont give excuses like, they can't leave their spouse because they have kids. If the marriage is so bad they have to cheat, then they probably SHOULD leave for the kids. This is coming from a child of divorce. It was better to bounce back and forth between two happy homes than it was to be stuck in one miserable one all the time. It will not socially scar children, these days it is far more bizarre to be the kid in the class who's parents still are married. Mothers can support their kids on their own, it just takes hard work. My mother raised two daughters all on her own and never remarried. Fathers will always have right to see their children as long as they are paying child support, and if his ex wife tries to deny him that then he can take her to court because that is illegal. It is even easier these days for the father to get primary custody if he chooses to fight for it. Unfortunately, since adultery is now involved, the chances of any sort of friendly, civil divorce has most likely gone out the window forever.
People make a lot of excuses to keep doing things that are wrong and hurt people because they are too lazy or afraid to face up to what is wrong in their lives and do what it takes to make it better. In the long run they end up hurting themselves more than anyone else.
In conclusion, just because a man says he loves you doesn't mean he really does. Its an easy way to get women with low self esteem into bed, and they know it, and they know how to target women who don't respect themselves if that is what they are after.

Answer 3

Saddly to say that your friend is gettin played. Honey, she shouldn't be messin up her marriage with another man any way. You get exactly what you give. She is cheatin on her husband, therefore, it came back to her. I don't feel sorry for her b/c if she was unhappy with her husband she should try to resolve the issure not add more to the fire. That man is not serious about her. Some men love to try to mess up another woman good thing just to see how far she will go and she was crazy enough to fall for it. Got played!

Answer 4

I think your friend should worry more about HER marriage I mean she did get married for a reason..and she has kids...she has to stop chatting on the computer with this man ...she's not a teenager anymore she needs to grow up

oh and yes...I do believe he's playing her... what goes around comes around

Answer 5

The guy is a dud all around. And tell your friend to stop being a whore. And also stop being a sneak by reading his emails. In fact, she doesn't sound like she's much better than a dud either. You should stay out of their dysfunctional relationship. You could get caught up in the drama and do you really want MORE drama in your life?

Answer 6

Who cares if she got played, shes married, and should be committed, if she cant be committed then she needs to get out. You get what you give in life, what goes around comes around. Shes playing her husband, now shes getting played...maybe she will learn a lesson, like dont get married or stay married if you can t be right.

Answer 7

Okay.I think that she is being lied to.The guy would probably go out with her a couple times,just until she goes to his place with him.Then he would probably leave her.What I would do is to have her read this.She could just forget him,or she could go out with him and the first time he tried to bring her to his place,she should leave him,right then and there.Another way would be to become friends with the other girl,you or your friend,then have the guy go out with your friend,and tell the other girl to meet either you or your friend there,it depends on who became friends with her,at the same time.Then,when they figure out about what's been going on,that guy will have a lot of trouble.

Answer 8

He is playing her like Billy Joel plays the piano... He is just trying to see how far he can get he will never leave his wife he is just tell her that because that is what she probably wants to hear..She needs to drop the loser.

Answer 9

When one cheats on one's spouse, that is what is known as ADULTERY. ADULTERY IS IMMORAL. Your friend is IMMORAL for pursuing a relationship outside of her marriage. And, of course, the man she is pursuing is also an ADULTERER and therefore, IMMORAL. The one thing you can count on about people who are IMMORAL and who lack any sense of DECENCY or INTEGRITY is that if they are willing to commit one IMMORAL action, then they are just likely to commit another, such as LYING. Of course, your friend is being USED, irrespective of who has feelings for whom or not. She is on the road to destroying both her family and her marriage: she is either going to have to accept the negative consequences of her actions or STOP DOING THEM. Whatever this man does to her, she is NOT a victim...she is participating in her own RUIN.

Answer 10

Your friend and this man are both jerks! Did you even read what you wrote? They are both married with children and messing around on their spouses, yet she somehow expects fidelity? She has serious issues.