I only want answers from people who have personal experience?

Question

opinions are welcome but I don't want to hear that it does not matter all men are alike...etc.
I want to know from women who have dated different types(ethnic backgrounds) of men if you recognized a difference. There are very obvious instances, like men from the middle east and how they treat women there.
I dated black men, i'm black. I was in a relationship for 4 yrs and most of my experience with them was similar, not bad in anyway. I married a mexican, i never dated outside b4 him but our personalties clicked or whatever and here we are its been almost 4 yrs, but I don't really get him, I know him but i don't really understand him and he is definitely like no other in the way he treat me and respond to me, not saying the way he is is wrong but at times it does make me feel kind of distant and I wanted to know if it could be a cultural thing.

He's quiet around me...but when hes out around his friends he more alive and involved, the first time I saw him around a bunch of his friend at a party I was so surprised, i felt like i was meeting an alter ego or something. He doesn't tell me anything until its to the point where he can't deal with it. I don't think he's a good communicator and no matter how many times i talk to him nothing changes so I wonder, is this just how he was raised to be as a man. its hard to just single out particular things its just him in general...to me men i've dated in the past once our relationship got to a certain point whether it was serious or just a friendship when trust and some security was established they were able to talk about anything, do anything with me, be vulnerable, basically open up to me and appreciate my place in their lives...I don't feel i get that.

Answer 1

I'm a multi-ethinic black girl who dated a 2 hispanics, a white guy, dated a black guy, fell in love with two filipinos and then I ended up marrying a hispanic who was adopted and raised by white people. I grew up around hispanics and mexican people and I have found that the cultural thinking is a bit different than blacks, but not too much. I have found many hispanic guys to be from both sides of the coin so to speak. I have seen some who absolutely love and adore their wives, and others just view them as cabbies who drive them home when they are drunk. Not all middle eastern men treat their women badly. I've know several Lebanese and even guys from Syria who fully appreciate their wives.
What made them all different was how they were raised and their way of thinking, not just their culture. It you are with a guy who was raised with lazy or machismo thinking by his parents then he's going to treat you differently than a guy who thinks all women are wonderful. That's what determines the difference...how they view women. My grandfather was hispanic, and not machismo. He adored my grandmother, who is hispanic/black. But my first hispanic boyfriend was machismo. He expected me to only stay home, have children, clean house. He loved me a lot, it was in his own special way.
the second hispanic guy I dated was a complete mama's boy. He couldn't stand up to his mom. He loved his mom way more than me...it made me feel second place.
The guy I am married to now, is hispanic, and was a bit distant at first, but that was due to his lack of experience, not his culture. I had to teach him how to love me. It's just reminding him of how I feel and what kind of attention I need. The first year was hard, but now he's really good at being a husband.
All men to me appear to be different. You just need to communicate to him how you feel and what you need. Some men just need to be taught or shown what to do. And you need to learn what makes him tick. Find out what he likes and give it to him. Spend time with him...do stuff he likes too. And make sure you find out about how he was raised, just to see what his thinking towards women is all about.
Hope this helps.

Answer 2

I would have to say yes, that there is a difference in the way different cultures look at marriage and relationships. I personally dated a Romainian for a long while. His family, and the way he treated me was much different than when I dated white men. Its just a different culture. I broke up with him though because he always let his mom tell him what to do, lol. The best advice I can give you is to talk to him about this, and ask him everything you can about his culture, or go to different sources to find out.

Answer 3

I am married to a man from the Middle East, and the only cultural problems we have is food issues. I don't like Arabic food too much, but other than that, we click. We have similar values and we are working together to meet our personal goals like anyother married couple. You shouldn't let culture affect the reason why you got married in the first place, you loved eachother.

Answer 4

I've been with white and black guys. There isn't any difference. It all depends on how they were raised and how they personally act and if they are respectful of people or not. But then again, the men I've dated were all Americans.

Different cultures do teach various things and have other ethics from Americans. But according to their skin pigmentation, their personalities and other areas as all individualized, nothing in common with other people with the same pigmentation.

Answer 5

I am Puerto Rican and I married a white man (we are now getting a divorce) and I agreet to a certain extent that it could be a "cultural thing".

What you didn't say in your question is "How" does he treat you, what things does he do or say that make you feel "distant". If you can tell me that I could tell you more as there are alot of characteristics hispanic males share whether they are mexican, puertorican, etc.

Answer 6

Ok you say you feel distant sometimes...I am also married to a mexican gentlemen.

It may be he has something on his mind cause my husband seems to do that to me but I just ask him why does he seem so distant. Wouldnt hurt to ask...Or whats on his mind. Is he from Mexico and has family there? Do you know his background? I mean well enough to know whats going on in his head or his thoughts. Is there kind of a language barrier? Please dont get upset at that question..I live in Florida and constantly see people get together where there is a huge language barrier...

just try an sit with him to get to know his thoughts and feelings.
If you have any questions I would be glad to try an help...

Good luck..Michelle [e-mail]

Answer 7

Culture plays a major role. Most Latin men are very used to being adored by their mothers. They expect women to wait on them. They live by a double standard. They as men are allowed more liberties than women. Although they can be very romantic & protective, they are easily threatened by any sign of independence in a woman.
When I dated a few ethnic guys, it never worked. I'm much to independent.
You are more than likely growing up & becoming more of your own person. Could be why you're questioning now.
Distant.....how? Do you need some space? Are you able to be yourself when you're with him?
Never underestimate yourself. Listen to your heart & soul.
:)

Answer 8

i am not mexican first,but its not a cultural thing u face its a personality thing more,do u know y he married u,do u know his goals in life,do u know evrything about him???with a narcisstic person or seclusive they r deep and very deep u think u know someone and u end up u dont,just to be more calm play along brings results ,if it bothers u so let it start bothering him,be just an image of him in the mirror personality wise and see how he reacts and if he starts opening up or changing stay tight dont get back to what u were until its obvious he changed

Answer 9

Since you are asking experience only, I'll quickly state an opinion and leave...this sounds more like I a "men" thing than cultural.

Answer 10

I dont think it's so much a "cultural thing" as more of a "how the jerk was raised' thing...