Living with an alcoholic - long?

Question

Hi,my husband is an alcoholic. He went to in-patient treatment on 10-21-06. He hasnt had a drink since, he is attending AA meetings at least 3 times a week. I am pregnant with our first baby which is due in 13 days so he leaves the bedroom for me and he sleeps on a futton bed in the living room. When I woke up this morning I smelled booze on my way to the bathroom. I thought it might be my dads who drinks sometimes (he lives with us) so I didn't pay any attention to it. When he was leaving for work he kissed me and I tasted vodka so I asked him if he had a drink last night and he said yes. But only one. So I asked if he bought a bottle. He said only the small one, half a pint. He said that he just wanted to know if it would help him relax and he would never do it again and that he hated the drink. I started to cry cuz my hormones r really crazy right now. SO he left for work. He said he was sorry.I found a huge empty bottle (750ml) in garbage after he left and dont know what to do now

How should I act when he gets home from work? He called me and I tolled him about the bottle I found and he was trying to explain but I just cant stop crying so I turned my cell off. He send me a text saying that if I ignore him he'll drink, I just dont know what to do. I love him so much and he is the best person in the world loving and caring husband when he doesnt drink. I was so proud of him when he decided to get help and I believed we will be able to go trhu this.But he has been drinking for 15 years and it must be really hard on him. I just want to know what to do to help him ...

And what should I do to stop crying so much ... I just cant seem to stop

Also I was wondering if Al-anon would help me and if so where can I find a meeting near me

Answer 1

Be supportive of him. Tell him how concerned you are and how you do not want him to tumble into a prolonged relapse. Remind him that if he does he will have to go to rehab again.
Be sure he tells his sponsor and be sure he goes to AA meetings ASAP. Hang in there. Relapses happen but they can also be short lived.

Answer 2

You really need to understand that this is your husband's problem and not yours. I think that he needs to understand that too and not threaten to drink if you don't talk to him. My husband is also an alcoholic, 37 days sober. He has been drinking since he was about 12. He is 38 now. Being that your husband has been to AA his sponsor really needs to know what is happening or AA will never work. You too need a support system and I am telling you from experience do not go to family. It only makes things worse. Go to AA with your husband to show your support. Many spouses attend the meetings together or Al-Anon works well too. And don't cry! For heaven's sake your husband is trying and it is not an easy road. Go buy yourself something that costs the same amount of money that your husband spent on the bottle. And everytime he spends, you spend. That should make you feel better!

Answer 3

You are being co dependent. You must go to a support group like Ala-non, to learn how to deal with him when he drinks. Honey you put the guilt back on yourself and you fell for it when he said if you ignore him he will drink. He is putting it all on you, for you to deal with. Please go tonight to an Ala-non meeting, look up AA in the phone book and find where your support group is and GO tonight, and show him you are serious and you will NOT tolerate his behavior any longer. You have a baby coming in a week or less and you won't want to have this around your child. Good luck.

Answer 4

First of all the most important thing is the health of your baby, don't get yourself all worried and upset. Secondly, how do you expect your husband to handle this problem with your dad there who drinks? You might as well live next door to a liquor store. This doesn't help him at all. He's not strong enough to handle that because he has direct access. You should talk with your dad and explain how this is important to you that your husband tries to stay on track. Good luck with this.

Answer 5

he needs to take it one day at a time here, addictions are a hard thing, we can easily go back to it due to some problem, but just give him lots of support talk to him, see that he doesn't miss his aa meeting. he slipped up but if he comes home and there is an arguement he most likely will go out and get another bottle so just take it easy with him, as he is probroly trying so hard and just had a slip up.

Answer 6

Hi i work with alcohol and substance misuse and the only way people stop doing what their doing is when they want to.The best thing to say is "lets think about today yesterday was an illusion tomorrows not even here so lets concentrate on whats happening here and now.Advise him to see somebody and maybe you could go with him.

Answer 7

my husband is a acoholic also before we seprated a year and a half ago in our apartment i would find liqure bottles under the bathroom sink he would tell me he quit but i would find his bottles and he was abusive a acoholic won't stop drinking they lie steal for that boose i would divorce your husband and not let your baby near his drinking

Answer 8

al-non is probaly your best choice ther is so much they can help you with mentally. Sometime we may not no it but were there sources. It sad because 9-10 times they dont change.good luck

Answer 9

Meet him at the door ready to go to a AA meeting. Go with him.

Tell him how much you love him and how much you and the baby need him SOBER!!

You need to be tough for him. he needs you to be there for the times he slips. Show your concern and love.

Answer 10

I feel your pain, however the best thing that you can do for yourself, him, and your baby is to go to al-anon, and please give it a chance, go to several meetings and listen, and I wish you the very best. Dont forget God.