When will women stop BLAMING THEMSELVES and OTHER WOMEN for their husbands cheating?

Question

It has NOTHING to do with you. You could be Holly Homemaker, Angelina in bed and Halle in looks. IT DOESN'T MATTER.
I know that it makes you less scared if you believe that you can control it, BUT YOU CAN'T.

The cheaters answering this question are so obvious. It's like hide and seek!

OK. The drug comments have become stale. Apparently, you don't understand. The point is that women often blame the woman because her husband cheated. Example. "Well Shirley, if you were treating your husband right, he wouldn't have cheated with Sara," said Cindy. Get it?

Octa is still looking for excuses. I may have believed that until old boyfriends, who are married, want to leave their wives for me. Sorry. It doesn't matter.

OOOOHH. Touched the sensitive part of some cheaters here!! ooooohh

Answer 1

okay,
here is your morphine shot now.

there there,
sleep now.

Answer 2

I agree, a person man or woman is responsible for his or her choice to cheat.

What I think folks try to sweep under the rug is who created the environment where the man or woman (because I was a faithful husband who was left by an unfaithful wife, so I don't see this as a gender issue, but a character issue.) who cheated believed (rightly or wrongly) that what they wanted was better obtained outside the marriage.

Before someone gives a thumbs down for this, hear me out. I am in no way saying that a faithful spouse is responsible for the decision to cheat.

However, the faithful spouse MAY be responsible for giving their cheating spouse the impression that their needs were not going to be met by their spouse.

I'm not saying this is right or accurate, but most cheaters cheat because they were not getting something they wanted, be it sex or emotional support.

I believe that to be true. There was so much I didn't know about my ex-wife, and I believe she chose her path because she believed I would never understand.

I am responsible for her impression because in my mind, it did take too long for me to understand, I knew more about my cars and computers than about her or my daughter. So I gave her that impression.

Where I believe she was wrong was that I didn't care and was unable to care for her and love her the way she desired.

But she had that impression, largely because of my behavior.

I believe the script is pretty much the same for others. I hear men complain that their wives don't have time for them because they give it all to the kids, or that their wives don't appreciate their efforts at making a living and keeping the home, mechanically a good place to live.

You are right, you cannot control what another person will do. However, you can stack the odds in your favor if you accept that they do have legitimate emotional needs, and consistently trying to meet those needs reduces a spouses tendency to believe his/her needs will be better met by another person.

Answer 3

Women blame themselve for three reasons

(1) They take to much blame and shouldn't
(2) They hold part of the blame (no one truly makes someone cheat but being neglitful to a good spouse is asking for trouble)
(3) They are too lazy to go get a couple jobs and move on so they complain to save face and are thankful the clown still puts the roof over their head.

Answer 4

Well a cheat is a cheat no matter what, you're right there isn't anything you can do. You marry who you marry. You made the bed and now you must lie in it. So women will stop blaming other women, when they stop blaming themselves for the fact that there husbands are no good. A bad marriage can make or break you.

Answer 5

This is so true you cant control a persons actions people are going to do what they want no matter what and if you try to stop it you will just push them more towards cheating. All you can do is be the best you can be and hope you get the same in return

Answer 6

Admittedly, I'm a cheater. It's almost never the other woman's fault. In my case, it is some her fault (false advertising before the wedding), but mostly my fault. But then why must men live in unhappy marriages when you (the wife) aren't providing me the emotional and physical needs I am so in need of? Am I the pig because I can't live with your insensitive and uncaring behavior?

But to answer your question, women should blame themselves for their part in the marriage/relationship breakdown, but never for his actions.

Answer 7

They need to come to their senses and know that their husbands made choices to cheat. You are not in mind or heart when they make these choices. It's understandable that it hurts but the real truth of the matter is, check your husbands ladies. You cannot stop them if that's something they choose to do. Be smart ladies don't be fooled.

Answer 8

They wont..
(boy, I hate misreading things..ha ha)

Most women will never understand. And yes, it does have alot to with how they treat their man. Yeah, you can be the best at everything, but there is something that you lack and he found it in someone else. He could have a fetsih for barking like a dog, and you might think its sick. So, all he wants is to be told to bark like a dog while having sex, so he is going to go out and find a women who will let him. (just as an example)

Every relationship has something lacking. And depending on how vocal or honorable the husband is there will always be a need to satisfy it.

So, women, yes you CAN control this. How??? Easy, if your husband wants to try something once (lets say sexually, since most cheating is for sex) let him try it once! (unless it is GROSLY immoral and sick..children, aniamls, extreme BDSM) Sometimes sex isn't always for us and our pleasure. And sometimes it is.

BUt if he wants to try something, just let him do it once and chances are it will be out of his system. Just like when we crave a certain food or certain cloths. We go out and get it, and then we no longer crave that...Same thing with men..

So yes, you can control cheating in your houshold, UNLESS you married a total loser. Then it is still in YOUR control to get rid of him and move on with your life...

Answer 9

Blaming yourself gets you nowhere. It wasn't your fault int he first place, it was/or is the mans choice to either go for it or not. You should never blame yourself, grow a back bone and some self respect and kick his azz out!
As for the "other woman"....most females do NOT understand that this "other woman" usually doesn't know about you or who you are. Yet it is easier for "us" to lash out at her because "we" fear the loss of the "man" we thought was so great...lol...I have never lashed out at the female only the man in my life, he is the one that made the choices he made and he is the one that deserves the punishment!!!!

Answer 10

you can control it and you can keep your man thats why some women can keep thier man and others cant its just in this day and age where women are taugt to demand what they want to demand good paying jobs and respect ect ect..... they for got how to be women to their men they got caught up in this as you say its all hes thought it couldnt be me at fault no its men bla bla its because of that attituide why you cant keep your man and why other women will always be able to take your man away from you. you just got to keep in mind the door swings both ways you got to know how to handle your man and still keep him happy .sorry but thats a fact wake up

Answer 11

Is there something wrong with you? Blaming the other woman is part of it if she knows the man she if fcuking is married, then hell yes she would get some of the blame.
I think you need another shot of morphine.