I am african-american woman who is hurting my husband left me for a white woman I am angry as hell and I feel?

Question

lost and betrayed and most of all just feeling sorry for myself why do black men treat their african queens this way?

Answer 1

Leave race out of it.

People do these things because they care about themselves more than their spouse. They do it because they don't want to do what it takes to make their marriage good and exciting.

I'm sorry this happened to you. But it's not always black and white, pardon the pun....

Answer 2

Well in todays world people look at this differently there are lots of black men who fall in love with white women and vice versa maybe he just wanted something different or maybe your relationship was just not meant to be did you ever think about that? I mean why feel sorry for yourself its him that should feel sorry if he loves you, Im a white women lol and I just think that the way you put it is funny considering were in 2007 and hey $hit happens and its better he did it now then yrs later so find yourself a real man that loves and appreciates you and who will see you for the african queen that you are

Answer 3

It's not just African American males that treat African American women badly, every race and ethnic background has people that pull BS like that. Would you still be as mad as hell if he left you for an African American woman?
Stop feeling so sorry for yourself, get out there and find yourself someone worth being with you! Obviously your ex was a real jerk, I mean whether the woman was white, black, orange, pink whatever the bottom line is that he cheated on you and took off and that just makes him an A**hole, so don't obsess over him, he'll end up alone in the end anyway. Selfish people like that always do.

Answer 4

When you come from a culture where over 70% of babies are born out of wedlock what do you expect??? How can you expect black men in this country to know how a real man should be when he hadn't any example to follow??? If you have children, hopefully you can share with them a real role model of a real man in the family. A grandfather, uncle, etc. I would also suggest you keep them away from pop culture as best you can. That only paints the worst possible picture of black men in this country. I am sorry for your loss, but the fact that she is white means absolutely nothing. Don't make it a race thing. Make it a 'he's a real jerk and not much of a man' thing.

Answer 5

The man hurt you, he chose to be with someone else and you have to process your feelings and then let him go. Be grateful that he is someone else's mistake now and you can move on to find what is meant for you, b/c all men are not bad and sometime you just have to wait for a man to grow up. But you have to use your sense to know whether its an issue of maturity or his character and when you know they won't change move on.

As far as him leaving u for a white girl, I guess I understand how in some ways that might reinforce the thinking portrayed thru media and history that white women were more desireable then black women but you shouldn't feel like she had something you didn't b/c she was white. He just saw something in her that he liked or wanted but that does not take away from your beauty or anything you might have to offer as a person. if he didn't appreciate it there is someone out there who will.

Answer 6

Who really knows the answer to this? It's not the other woman's fault because he made a decision. The thing is not to feel sorry for yourself because just like he entered your life someone who is hand carved for your will enter into your life. You need to just get you in order and keep your head up high and walk like the queen that you are. It won't be easy but don't make it harder. Pamper yourself, go out with friends/family, volunteer someplace and just treat yourself. Do you for awhile, enjoy life. Let me give you some sound advice if you are spiritual, pray. When you pray for a good man please be specific with God because he has a sense of humor.

Answer 7

I'm sorry you're hurting. This is never an easy thing to go through. I'm an african-american woman too, and I know how hard it can be sometimes for us. A lot of black women have to go through so much just to prove themselves "worthy" so to speak. I'm just curious though, and please don't take this as me judging, I just have to ask: are you upset that he left you for someone else, or just that the someone else is white? I only ask because of the way your question is worded. Would you ever consider dating or marrying outside the black race?

Answer 8

I have evidenced the opposite happening, so don't put it all on Black men. Even though you were the African queen, something
had to happen, over time, to make him relinquish his throne. Why he treated YOU that way is personal and one of you has
the answer. If you don't know, I think you need to find out because this could happen again.

Answer 9

Would it hurt less if he had left you for a black woman? The race of the other woman should not be an issue. It sucks, but you deserve better than someone who will treat you that way.

Answer 10

Does it really matter that the woman was white or not? The fact that he left you should be your concern. As far as treating you as an African Queen here is your answer:

"...in every relationship...you teach people how to treat you..."
--Dr. Phil

Answer 11

Men, regardless of skin color, are both good and bad. At a time like this it is difficult to feel anything but anger and bitterness. Understand the true source of your pain, sort those feelings out, and heal. There ARE good men out there who will honor and cherish you for the wonderful person you are. If you are focused on your anger, you will not be able to enter into a loving relationship fully capable of being a good partner.