Feeling sorry for myself kind of question?

Question

Can anyone tell me why im finding it so difficult to accept that the father of my unborn child doesnt want to be with me or the baby? Im not an irrational person so I know that I have to simply accept this on move on without him and look after me and my baby. I know emotions run higher in pregnancy and im wondering if thats why I just dont seem to be coping with it.I just feel real rejection for both me and the baby and im devastated by it all. How has anyone else moved on after a split during pregnancy (im 3 months). Im so scared of being a single mum.I really admire all you women (and men) out there who do it alone.I think i just need to pull myself together, just dont know how....any advice would be greatly appreciated x x x x

Answer 1

First, I'm sorry you feel so down.

In my opinion, any man who could turn his back on his unborn child is not a man at all. You are better off without him. Hey, at least you know now and it's not happening when your baby is three and crying for a Daddy who has suddenly up and run..

That said, with all due respect (Sincerely) you may want to look deep inside yourself and ask why you chose a person like that to be a partner (At the time) and the father of your child. Did this rejection truly come completely out of the blue. Deep inside yourself, surely you knew that this guy was not reliable. If not, maybe you should work on evaluating people before letting them get that close to you. I hate to use the term "bad taste in men" But do you think maybe you are drawn to men who are not good for you? If so, work on that.

Also, now that this guy has walked away you are apparently beating yourself up about it. QUIT! You picked a jerk and he's gone. It's happened, it's over and this is now his problem, not yours. Your life may be difficult at times as a single parent but BEING your child's parent and raising that little person to adulthood will bring you happiness that he will never find. (And he doesn't deserve). In truth, he deserves your pity. (b/c he's pathetic)

You are going to be just fine. Look to your family and friends for support when things are tough. Make sure you get child support if this guy has a job. If not and the guy is a loser deadbeat, I suggest you make sure that you have sole custody and keep him away until your child is old enough to decide whether he or she wants to know him. I've seen this play out around me too many times and there's nothing worse or more confusing to a kid than a dead beat dad who pops in and out of his kids life when it suits him.... Responsible or absent - one or the other, no compromise.

Whatever happens, live your life being true to yourself and your child & raise him or her to be a better person than their father.

Best of luck!

Answer 2

My daughter's father left me when I was in the early weeks of pregnancy. It was devastating - for me AND the baby!
It's a cliche but it's time that makes it easier to accept.
You sound like, you already have the right mental attitude to get yourself and your baby through this!
Once your baby is actually born, you'll realise you have strengths you never knew you had and a lot of the hurt and anxiety will go away.
It's maybe hard to take this in just now but you and your baby really are better off without him. In time you will be with the man you deserve and remember, anyone can be a father but it takes someone special to be a Daddy!
In the meantime, you will manage just fine, infact I'm sure you'll do a great job.
Take care and try as hard as you can not to let the awful way that you've been treated overshadow what is ultimately the most amazing thing that is ever going to happen to you in your life!
Enjoy this special time as best you can and remove him from the equation altogether. This is all about you and your baby now!
Lots of luck and good wishes.

Answer 3

Well I am 6 an a half months pregnant and I do have the father with me so I don't know if I Can help but I will tell you that I knew I was pg just by my moods I never in my life cried even after the death of my best friend no crying then all of a sudden i was crying about anything and even now I get feelings of being all alone so I think once your baby is here your not even going to worry about the father I'm sure you are a strong person and it will get easy in time You should also think of having a midwife because when you go to have the baby she will be there to help you with the pain and do the thing that a guy could do so ya you should look into that sorry if i wasn't much help

Answer 4

I left the father of my child when I was 2 1/2 months along and I cried every day. Some days it was all day long. We did end up back together, but it was really hard when we were apart. Your hormones are crazy right now, so it is expected that you will be overly-emotional right now.
Perhaps he is not ready to deal with this just yet. Maybe the further along you get, the more into it he will be. Sometimes it just takes a while to get used to the idea that you are having a baby - for men and women alike. It is the biggest life change you can go through. Hopefully he is keeping the lines of communication open and is still talking to you.
I would suggest building your support team now...talk to your family and friends. Try not to bottle this up and deal with this on your own. You said it already, but right now is the time to take care of you and this baby.
Hopefully he will come around. If not, you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and know that you are capable of doing this on your own. Just remember that if he does not come around, he is the one missing out. You can't make him come around.
You can on the other hand enjoy this amazing time in your life.
I wish you all the best...and Congrats on your soon to be bundle of joy.

Answer 5

I so feel for you! I know exactly how it feels. I'm working on going into my 5th month and my boyfriend and I have broken up 3 times, each time more devastating then before. I don't know what the answer is, I was able to get back with him each time and am hoping that it doesnt happen again. I know a big part of each time had a lot to do with me and my hormones. I am trying to keep them a little more in check now, but the only thing that helped me really when I was alone was listining to my favorite music, and trying to think about the baby, focus on the baby instead of myself, it's not easy I know. I hope there is some way you can work it out, maybe there was a misunderstanding and he will come around, a close friend of ours told me that my bf did not want the baby or a relationship, and it turned out he was only trying to separate us. People do strange things, things will work out for you either way, once that baby is born you will experience this love that you didnt even know existed and whatever feelings you might have for him lingering at that time will dissapear. I really hope it works out for you and I really feel for you. It will work out. My Dad recently told me that no matter what happens, everything will work itself out, babies are a blessing regardless of the circumstances. I know it's not fun to be alone. I swear there should be organized groups of women like us in every city to help us get through this situation and not feel alone. I still don't know what my future holds for sure, I could easily end up having to do this all on my own. Just remember that you are not alone, if you have family reach out to them or friends, they can be a huge help or come here, that's what I did just to help take my mind off things, make sure you talk to someone, it helps. Take care of yourself. I know it's easier said than done.

Answer 6

Yes your emotions is running high specially during pregnancy but I can also understand the rejection you feel (for you and the little one).
Yes there is a lot of single moms out there that´s doing just fine and I believe you will too. Just hang in there because he will be missing out on the most wonderful thing in the world. And when you start feeling your little one move inside you you will forget about anything else, promise you. I was petrified of becoming a mother although I´m married (22), but the first time I felt him move inside me everything changed.

So don´t put yourself down it´s normal to have these feelings, you just have to deal with them in your own way and in your own time. Any support from friends and family will help a lot too... (That´s what family is there for)...

Good luck I wish you all the best !!!

Answer 7

It sounds like you are a bit depressed about your life, you have placed yourself firmly in the role of "victim" and now it is hard to let old habits die. I imagine that people can get quite depressed while talking to you, why don't you change it around? Next time you speak to someone, tell them a joke or say something silly. It does not matter if it is superficial, a conversation should be an enjoyable experience and if it is, you too will get enjoyment and fulfillment from it. You are never going to get anywhere by dwelling on the past sadnesses of your life, try rising above them. Wjat's done is done is done but whatever it is, it should be put behind you and not dwelt upon unnecessarily, you are only hurting yourself. Good luck! And smile...it makes people wonder what you are thinking!

Answer 8

It probably is part the hormones. Plus, no one likes to be rejected and now you are probably feeling protective over your baby as well.
I didn't become a single parent until after my baby was born but it's not as scary as it seems. Finances are probably the hardest thing. Look on the bright side though, you'll be the main influence and can decide exactly how you want the baby raised without any compromising. I loved all the time with my daughter while I was single. You'll do great. Just hang in there and try to look forward to all the wonderful things about being a mom. It is truly a blessing.

Answer 9

Don't worry, you're not the first to feel this way. Many women are truly amazed that guys don't jump for joy at the news of a surprise pregnancy. Unfortunately it doesn't work this way.

You should realize though that if you've made the decision to birth this baby with a man you're not commited to, it will be hard. It's a decision that will affect all 3 of you forever. Just make sure you make the right decision, and whatever it is, don't spend your life blaming or holding a grudge against your baby's father for it. Hope things go well for you.

Answer 10

I'm really sorry to hear this but your childs father will be the one who misses out on this beautiful new life.... all you can do is move on from this for the sake of your child, your child needs you, and i know you have fears but let me tell you strength will come from some where and i believe you will be alright...i myself was a single mother for years until i met my other half, i know it's a little different. At the moment you are very vunerable, because your hormones are all over the place i know through my experience.... if your babies father can reject you at this stage he is not worth it, and you're better off without him, you probably don't see it now but you will...if he decides to come back after the baby is born, i would not make things easy for him until he proves himself worthy of you and your child, all i can say is stay strong and know it will be alright....you deserve bette than this, good luck.