It seems like ever since by boyfriend and I moved in together, I'm just expected to do all the cleaning, cooking, laundry...it's like he trained me or something. And if something is not done, he gets mad at me. Usually I'll get mad back and ask him why he won't do it, he just says cuz that's my duty or something like that. He expects me to do whatever he says! Is this normal for relationships in todays world?
2007-02-08 06:41:15 · 25 answers · asked by Kira 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, it's not. In today's world, equality is a goal in relationships. You shouldn't have to put up with this crap. It's not your job to be his hausfrau. Either get him some behaviour modification, or leave.
2007-02-08 06:45:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
Actually, it is normal for men to expect their women to take care of the house, even if it's not verbalized. Women become resentful when they figure this out, which is why you are upset. You need to sit down and talk it out. If you both work, you should share these duties. If he's paying the bills and you stay at home, you need to understand that most of the housework will fall on you. If you're not agreeable with that, you might as well leave now.
Also, he's been expecting you to do whatever he says long before now. The fact that you didn't recognize it earlier is your fault. Wake up.
2007-02-08 15:51:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, that is normal for back in the 60's. He was probably raised where the woman does all the cleaning and house work. Tell him in todays world men do work too. If he didn't help out and he was so narrow minded I'd leave or just clean my stuff and leave his stuff the way it is. That would be fair and if he had a problem with it I would move out. You shouldn't live with someone that doesn't want to help you at all and that is just so 60's it is sad...
2007-02-08 14:56:11 · answer #3 · answered by Baby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It works for some couples, but individual couples have to work those issues out. What are the shared responsibilities? What are the shared finances? What are the individual responsibilities? etc. etc. Frankly, you should have discussed those well in advance of moving in together. Some women love to be domestic and do all the household tasks for their man. Some men like to be domestic and do that for their woman, but it is a mutual decision. You sound very uncomfortable with this situation and need to resolve it soon.
2007-02-08 15:33:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope. Let him know that he is expected to do 50% of all the work around the house and if he can't handle it bounce his stupid as*.
However, if he works and you do not then he has an argument that since you stay home you should keep the house. This is a valid argument and the only valid argument to women having to do all the cleaning, cooking, and laundry.
2007-02-08 14:57:05 · answer #5 · answered by Richard Bricker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is not at all normal,he is what they call a controller, who finds fault, insist things be done like he likes them, gets mad easily, perhaps this was the way he saw hid dad act, i would dump this one if u are smart, lucky he showed this side of himself to u so early in the relationship, now u know what u have to look forward to if u marry this jerk. he has a low self worth is not a man, and has no control over his life so he wants to control u. one day when things are not done exactly as he wants them he will begin beating u. he is a controller and an abuser, and unless he is willing to seek some kind of therapy theres no chance in changes. but u haven't married him yet so u still have a chance to leave. chances are if u looked into it that u would find he has treated each and every woman in his past exactly as he is treating u now.
2007-02-08 15:17:21 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like the greatest situation. I dated someone like that and I learned the hard way he was male chauvenstic.Men who are like that are usual insecure about themselves for all kinds of reasons. No, this is not a normal relationship. Both partners should try and be equal etc. I'd say to start planning to move out on your own; get your ducks in a row so to speak, not let him know, and when you get things ready, then let him know. He won't like it, but it's not fair for you to be in a relationship like that =) Good luck, best wishes! Let me know how things turn out!
2007-02-08 14:50:05 · answer #7 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No this is not normal... if i were you i would leave.. otherwise it will be like this forever especially if you marry the fool. He is probably a mama's boy that everything done for him.. Don't be a slave to this man... leave and find someone that will treat you like a princess because you deserve no less than that!
2007-02-08 14:57:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No its not normal you better get a grip on this situation or it will turn ugly. You both should have responsibility's around the house the only way you should be doing all the cleaning is if he is paying all the bills. My bf takes out the trash and we take turns on the dishes.
2007-02-08 14:47:00 · answer #9 · answered by Jen 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Bust his balls and tell him he better pitch in or you will pitch him out. Or you could leave him too. I don't appreciate jackasses like him giving us REAL men a bad reputation. That is NOT how a real man behaves. Let him know I said so. Now fix him or find a real man. Good luck and God bless.
2007-02-08 14:53:10 · answer #10 · answered by major b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it is certainly not normal. Sounds like you're getting a taste of what he's really like, now the ball is in your court as to whether to continue this relationship, or to move out and move on.
2007-02-08 14:46:00 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋