How do YOU let things go?

Question

OK. Basically, the situation is that my husband wants to analyze everything. Sometimes that is a good thing and sometimes it is not. When we disagree on something he has to find out why I don't agree with him and when I say something like I don't know or that I don't want to talk about it...he still wants to analyze it. He doesn't understand why it doesn't bother me and I think that that bothers him. Do you have any suggestions on letting things go? So much of the time I would just rather forget that we even disagreed, but I won't lie and tell him that I do agree when I really dont.

Also, I will tell him...I don't want this to turn into an argument, so can we drop it? That just seems to make him more angry.

Answer 1

forgiveness is the key to any marriage. you have to agree to disagree and move on or you will resent each other and it will never work out.

Answer 2

I know someone like that (and it happens to be me) I have a very analytical mind and this need to get people to think about answers that they give or things that they tell me. It stems from me being really down and out and I had to do and lot of thinking within in order to have gotten myself back on track and it does take a lot of analyzing and because of this I've just developed that trait. In truth and in fact too many people respond and react to questions and situations in ways that they are taught to and that is irritating. A lot of people have mood swings and to me that is letting your emotions control you and how you feel rather that the other way around. So because of all this I can understand your husbands situation. Men are a lot more analytical then women.

At the same time, this has caused me some trouble in relationships as well and I can see where it can get tiring - I truly can. So the only advice I can give is to find a way to get him to understand that you are not disrespecting him nor brushing him off but you prefer to just love him, agree to disagree with him and love him just the same and that letting things go is OK - it wont kill him.

Hope this helps.

Answer 3

I am a very laid back type of a person and find that most arguments are trivial and not worth getting mad over.

Simply put he is an analyzer. If he doesn't understand something he wants to figure out the dynamics of it.

The only thing you can do is explain to him that it doesn't matter who is right and who is wrong. Its pety. You two aren't going to agree on EVERYTHING and think about how boring it would be if you did!!!

You can't change how he thinks or how he feels but you can remind him that all the time he wastes trying to figure out the question or problem he could be doing something else.

Answer 4

i have met a guy like this before. he sabotaged several relationships before he actually found someone that he cared a lot about. even then, they broke up for 3 months before he claimed that he had changed his ways and would stop doing that everytime they didn't agree--i believe they are back together now, but Lord only knows if the changes will be real.
so my advice is this..... you are gonna get awful sick of this after a while if it doesn't change. maybe you should try explaining to him that everyone sees things differently and that an argument isn't going to change anybodys mind, so why go there??? i am pretty sure you have said things like this before, actually, so maybe its beating a dead horse. do you have to leave him to make him see the error in his ways? i hope not, but definetely consider if this is something you can live with for the rest of your life. if not, then tell him so. not an idle threat, but only say it if you really mean it. maybe he will realize that compromise is a part of every relationship.
can i venture a guess that he is a Pisces???!!!
good luck
♥

Answer 5

Because saying "I don't know" Is a lie. You know down inside Why you wanted to act the way you did, but you are either to scared to tell him, or don't want to sound wrong.

Men are logical, and women are emotional. Once you come to fully understand that, then you will understand why your man wants to fix the problem. Men are problem solvers...plain and simple.

As for "letting it go" Just don't think about it anymore, or give him straight answers. Saying "I don't know" is a lie, and YOU do know why are feeling a certain way. It may take a few minutes to go through your head to figure it out, but there is answer to it. You can be honest wiht yourself or you can be honest with yourself AND your husband...

Answer 6

Indulge him every once in a while, and try to explain yourself more clearly. I think, it's mostly a good thing that a person wants to understand the root cause of the problem, instead of simply sweeping it under the rug. Sometimes, this tendency may be annoying, but being that it is in general a positive thing - appreciate it, and don't let it get to you. My husband tends to be very rational, which is something I love about him - but sometimes it does drive me crazy when he wants to try and explain purely emotional things in a rational manner. We've had our share of conversations where I had to try and convince him that sometimes you do things "just because", not because of some rational reason. He's starting to see my point of view, but I am also much more tolerant of his - now that I know what to expect. So, we don't debate nearly as much as we used to.

Answer 7

We'll for one thing thats the problem u tell him u agree when u dont most men do know when there spouce's tell a white lie. and the other is most men's brains only work half the time when it comes to reason, what u need to do is just tell him,I dont want to argue and this is how I feel,and to keep him more satified, just tell him that u love him,

Answer 8

I believe your husband is getting scared when he isn't sure what your feeling. It makes him uncomfortable if you are not talking about what is going on with you. He may also feel the need to control your views of him to be comfortable as well. In otherwords, if you have a negative view of him it may make him feel insecure so he wants to take the time to get you to see things his way in order to feel better about himself. It seems to me that the best way to handle it is to say "I don't care as much about this topic as you do, just as I don't expect you to care as much about (insert your favorite TV show here." Or you could say "You know I love you even if we don't agree on this, you are entitled to your opinion and I'm entitled to mine"

Answer 9

He probably has a Type-A personality...this is very common. It is also very hard to get along with. You are wired a certain way and you do not mix with his wiring. This problem will never go away.

Answer 10

y'all need to just agree to disagree, leave it at that. if you agreed about everything then you would not be 2 individuals, you'd be clones of one another.