my boyfriend and i are going through a rough patch mainly because he humiliates me infront of my friends and insults me. he calls me fat and ugly (as a joke but not really) we have been togeth over a yr, and for about 7 months we were perfect. he says he wants to break up with me because im always making a fuss but i think if he wasnt so horrible to me i wouldnt make a fuss. i love him so much but i cant cope with how he speaks to me and the way he treats me. am i wrong?
2007-02-08 06:25:27 · 31 answers · asked by izzy01 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
leave that prick
2007-02-08 06:27:40 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong and as someone who was once in an abusive relationship for five and a half years I speak with some experience. My ex would say some of the exact same things and I felt worse and worse I started believing him. I was seperating from my family and friends because of him. I almost got fired because of him too.
Trust me, you do not want to stay in this relationship. It will make you feel completely horrible about yourself and you will feel desperate to cling onto something familiar but he will keep pushing you further and further away.
Hopefully you can break the cycle now because if you let this continue it will only bring down your self-esteem and make you think you can't or don't deserve anything better.
Like I said I was with a guy exactly like that for 5 1/2 years. I never thought I could do better or that I deserved anything better. I believed I was so lucky to have him and that he was the best thing for me. Honestly, he didn't support any of my decisions, he alienated me from friends. He put down most of what I like. He got married on me after 4 1/2 years. He got a DWI and he was an alcoholic. He would try to convince me that I want to do things even though I really didn't and I would start just to keep him by my side.
Since I have broken up with him I have a new boyfriend that coddles me and treats me like a princess. Something I keep smiling about every day.
2007-02-08 17:40:10 · answer #2 · answered by ambr95012 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to say goodbye. If he REALLY didn't mean it he would have stopped when you told him it was hurtful. Some people, men and women, feel the need to humiliate and hurt the people they claim to "love". It isn't love, it's mean. There's a line in the movie "As good as it gets" where Helen Hunter says to Jack Nicholas something like, I can't be friends with you anymore because everytime I'm around you, you make me feel bad about myself. So use that as a guide. Don't be with someone who makes you feel bad about yourself. This isn't a "rough" patch. It is the end. Tell him so and get on with your life. Good Luck!
2007-02-08 14:36:37 · answer #3 · answered by N0_white_flag 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your love for him can't overcome his personality flaws in the long run. You need to exercise "tough love" with him. You will then grow personally as an individual and be a better person for your new awareness of how people can play on your feelings and take advantage of you. The internet website referenced below may not seem to apply to you, but the general subject is what your dealing with.
http://www.joy2meu.com/tough_love.htm
2007-02-08 14:34:31 · answer #4 · answered by bobweb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not worng. In fact you have EVERY right to be upset about him treating you that way. I can tell you from experience that guys who act like that only get worse over time. Eventually he will become unbearable, and he might even become physically abusive toward you. Beware!
I sincerely recommend finding a new boyfriend.
Good Luck
2007-02-08 14:30:20 · answer #5 · answered by I know, I know!!!! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy is a jackass for lack of a more polite way to say it. It concerns me that you put up with this kind of treatment from him. Guys like this often progress into wife beaters. If you stay with him are you going to be happy being humilated and abused (it is abuse to be degraded this way). Get away from him let him know that you will never tolerate this way of life and find someone that doesn't treat you this way. Dump his sorry ***.
2007-02-08 14:36:28 · answer #6 · answered by phylobri 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with previous answers, but until you feel good enough about yourself, you will keep making the same choice of partners.
You deserve to have the very best. Move on and start working on your self esteem. If no one will build you up, start with that girl in the mirror and tell her she is great! If you don't believe it yet, fake it till you make it! Take it from one who has been there, when you start changing ---the universe will send great things your way.
2007-02-08 14:37:09 · answer #7 · answered by lyrics6268 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To call you fat and ugly is not a joke - there's nothing funny about that in any situation. Move on and let this loser abuse someone else. I am sure that you can do better and definately am sure that you are better than to put up with this jerk!
2007-02-08 14:29:33 · answer #8 · answered by lifesajoy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your not wrong at all...he is putting you down to make himself feel and look better infront of other people. Don't put up with that...yeah it will be hard to break it off but once you do...you will feel A LOT better!!! Good luck and don't get to upset...you'll find someone better then that in no time!!!
2007-02-08 14:29:16 · answer #9 · answered by ~J*me~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to prove to him that it's unnacceptable and tha you deserve to be treated better. Tell him that if he continues to treat you that way you are going to end it. And if he does, break up with him right there. If he's any kind of man, and if he really cares about you, he'll realize his mistake and come back to you begging for forgiveness. And if he doesn't, he's a loser who needs to make fun of his girlfriend to feel cool. So not ok.
2007-02-08 14:30:25 · answer #10 · answered by imnotachickenyoureaturkey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hell no your not wrong if anyone is wrong
its him and he knows it
Verbal abuse can
break a person down
just as much as
physical abuse can
tell him 2 get it 2gether
or your gonna find someone else
who doesnt think your "fat and ugly"
besides the only reason he
does that (regardless if hes joking or not)
is to make you feel like no one else will
want you but him.
2007-02-08 14:35:50 · answer #11 · answered by *Kisses* 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋