Would you say anything??

Question

Okay, my boyfriends mom recently got evicted, so her,her son and her boyfriend are staying with us until they find a house to rent. That's not my problem, my problem is that her boyfriend wil yell and scream at her son ALL THE TIME!! And I come from a loud family, but this is ridiculas.All he does is call the kid a liar, and the mom does nothing! I really don't know what wo do. I don't like that he's always yelling in our house, I don't yell and neither does my boyfriend. I told my boyfriend that I didn't like the fact that his brother was always getting yelled at, but he did nothing. So my real question is...would you say something to the mom? Or just decide to leave it be??

Sorry this was so confusing, I didn't wanna use names :)

Oh yeah, he's only 9

Answer 1

well maybe you should talk to your boyfriend again and if he doesnt do anything tell him you are going to talk to his mom, then do go talk to her and see wat she has to say and then if she doesnt do anything then u shud just talk to her boyfriend and be like if u arent going to stop yelling in my house u would have to leave so he knows whos the boss ( since its yours) in that house and that if u do kick them out he'll know hes been warned!

Answer 2

This is a very sensitive issue and you have two options of handling it. If you leave it be, there will be no frictions between you and the mom's boyfriend but your boyfriend's brother will take the unnecessary and unneeded verbal abuse daily. Depending on the kid, this might hurt his confidence and damage him for the rest of his life. Which you know it's wrong for somebody to get abused like that. Option 2 is to talk to him directly about it, which could cause him to go nuts even violent because he's already a hostile, loud person. Obviously this guy is white trash material because he's staying at your house and behaving the way he is. He's got no respect for anybody including himself. If you talk to your boyfriend or his mom about it, they probably wouldn't do anything about it because they're "used" to all the yelling and screaming. And obviously the mom has either no respect for herself or a very low self-esteem to have a boyfriend like that. She's accepting the fact that it's okay for this loudmouth to keep yelling at her son. This is when you pull teamwork into place. Get your boyfriend, his mom, yourself and anyone else adult in the family together and discuss the issue, and together, you all will speak to this loudman in a very hopefully calm and collective manner, hopefully this @ss will change his behaviors. Don't say nothing much, just be easy. Worst case scenario is that he's going to leave the house and leave your boyfriend's mom, which also will turn out to be the best case scenario. Loud people like him are known to be abusive. Tell your boyfriend and his mom, he's only a boyfriend now and he's acting like that, just imagine when she decides to marry the guy and once he's the man of the house, oh shyt, all hell breaks loose. Good luck and I hope my answer helped.

Answer 3

Hey Kate,
Obviously this stresses you enough to seek an opinion outside your family and I think if you keep quiet it will only make matters worse, eventually you are going to snap when it happens in your presence. I would if I were you maybe invite mom out to lunch and ask her has she noticed the yelling and if she says yes then let her know it bothers you. If she has no response or answers no I think I would then say something to the effect that it really makes me nervous when your boyfriend yells at your son like that. Maybe she has never said anything to her boyfriend out of fear, but if she hears that it bothers others it may get her to finally say something to him about it. It is your home after all and you are doing them a huge favor and they should respect you for that, and respect your home too. I think your boyfriend does not want to get in the middle although I do think he should step up some just won't, it sounds like someone should though. In short YES I would say something.
Goldie

Answer 4

I think that you would because it could ruin the relationship between the mom and the son. Not only that, you and your boyfriend might also break up because of all of the negative things that are around your house. Your boyfriend might get angry and frustated and you might be too. If you want to keep the yelling down, you either have to go somewhere else with your boyfriend or talk to the family about this. Because it might not affect you, but it may also affect them.

Answer 5

If that is your house, then you should say something to the mom's boyfriend, and say it in front of everyone, so they know it's your rule - No yelling in the house. They're living with you and therefore have to abide by your rules. If he breaks it, tell him to get the f*ck out. Stop pussy footing around this issue and letting other people call the shots. It's your house and you have a right to set up the rules. Any kind of abuse should not be tolerated. Don't even think of asking permission from anyone else to speak to this SOB. Speak very firmly to him in front of everyone, so everyone gets the message.

Answer 6

It's not confusing. But hell yes I would say something. It's your house correct? And the boyfriend is making your life unbearable, I don't think so. This man sounds like he has no respect. It's your house, your rules and I think you have every right to say something to the mother, especially if it's making you uncomfortable. And think of the boy being yelled at. He's probably just waiting for someone to say something. Good luck.

Answer 7

I would hang a sign in a well seen area... I would print in Bold Letters ***NO YELLING ALLOWED! ***You will be fined! Under the sign place a jar or can and every time the yelling starts I would simply point to the sign or hold out the can and ask for a quarter. That goes for everybody who raises thier voice above an inside voice. Then after the money is paid. Tell'mm please try to control themselves this isn't a ball game

Answer 8

that's scary behavior. It sounds like your boyfriend, his mom and his brother have all been mentally abused at some point. It's hard for some single moms b/c they would rather have that then be alone--anything but being alone. Unfortunately, the kids suffer as a result. If it gets too bad, consider contacting social services anonomously.

Answer 9

I think it's difficult to dictate how family members should interact with each other- what seems like arguing or screaming to you might be normal debate to them (even if it's extremely unplesant to witness). I think the only thing you can do is sit with your boyfriend and determine an exact date- a firm deadline, and advise the 3 houseguests that they can stay only to that date, and they must move out on that date, without question.

Answer 10

You could try talking to the mom first. More than likely it won't change the situation though. It has probably been an ongoing thing. Depending on how old the kid is and if your ready to fight for him call child services. No one deserves to be treated that way. It could lead to all sorts of problems for the kid.

Answer 11

He needs to attend anger management classes before he hurts someone. The kid deserves better. His mom is an @sshole too for letting the guy do this. She obviously regards him more than her kid or she wouldn't. I never let any guy I lived with or dated correct my children. They didn't like it...SO LONG. I love my children and would never let ANY man get in the way.
My sister used to let all the guys she shacked with attend to the kids too and they all turned out to be idiots, in jail, use drugs, etc. except one that had no contact with all the men in her life,(Youngest) I tried to tell her too, but she never listened. If all else fails turn them into famiy services in your area. You will be doing the kid a service and they will FORCE them to seek the help they need or never see the kid again. This will tell you if she cares about the kid or just another dick. I wish I had it to do over again.