Lost love of my life to death.....?

Question

I just turned 30 years old and here's my story.....
I met a wonderful boy when I was in 9th grade. He followed me to my first period class everyday. He'd say, "hey girl, come here for a minute." I'd say, "I have to get to class." One day I stopped and talked to him, we hit it off and ended up together untl his death. I was 20 years old and he was 21. At the time of his death, we had a son who was 1 1/2 yrs old and a 2 month old daughter (now 11 and 9 1/2). Ok folks, he passed away of a seizure on 6/6/1997. I have since had 2 more children (2 & 4) by someone who I'm no longer with, but I still cry sometimes about my two oldest childrens dad. When I think about him my chest hurts and I'm still so hurt. He treated me so well and I loved him so much. He was a beautiful person. His death was all of a sudden, here one day and gone the next. Should I still be this hurt? Will I feel this way for the rest of my life? I'm just not sure if this is normal.

Answer 1

I hope this helps in some small way...



Beautiful People



Beautiful People, There are so few
One has to reason why
They seem to come and go so fast
Too soon they wilt and die

Their gentleness and kindness
Way more than one expects
Their uncompromising Friendship
So hard to accept

They stir up deep emotions
We hide so no one sees
But what we see, is all the things
We know we'd like to be

They shower us with their virtues
Things money just can't buy
They turn and leave us wondering
With thoughts that say Goodbye

Like the flowers that bloom around us
They seem but a fleeting thing
It's up to us to recognize
The goodness that they bring

A sorrow overwhelms us
We know they soon will part
But the memories that they leave us
We'll carry in our hearts




-aaw-

Answer 2

You are so blessed to have been in love with someone who equally loved you back. There is nothing wrong about you still feeling the hurt of losing someone so special. But, don't let that get in the way of being loved again. You can still remember him and the wonderful times the two of you shared. You have two beautiful children that will remind you everyday that a part of him is still with you, watching over you, and wanting you to be happy. I lost someone I loved at a young age. I hurt so bad for so long. I actually thought I wouldn't make it, but, now I am married to a wonderful man who absolutely loves me unconditionally. I love him just as much, probably more. When I think of my loss, it doesn't hurt as much. I actually smile when I think of him, because of the memories. Good and bad!! I just know he is in real good hands, and God knew what he was doing when he took him so soon. You'll get to that point one day. God bless you.

Answer 3

I can't even imagine the pain you must be going through. My husband is in the Army and survived his first tour in Iraq. There were several severe injuries in his unit that tour due to explosives. I face the real possibility of losing my husband everyday and they're sending him back next year again. Losing him would be like cutting off my arms and legs, then ripping out my heart. It would destroy me because I've never been treated better by anyone in my life. He's simply the best and no one could ever replace him, and the first true love I've ever experienced.

I think it's okay for you to greive the loss of someone that you loved like that. I would too. I lost a baby girl in 1999 and I still hurt for her to this day. I'm glad for you that you have a part of him for the rest of your life in his children, at least you can see him within them. Take care and stay strong.

Answer 4

Grief is the most painful thing out there. It is perfectly normal to miss him. But rather than mourning his loss try to concentrate on celebrating all that you were lucky enough to get from him. You have 2 beautiful children that will always be a part of him. That is a real gift. It's tragic that he died so young, but try to think about all of the wonderful things he brought to your life. Some women never get that for as long as they live. You're lucky to have loved someone like that. And there's nothing to say you won't love that way again. You're still very young and have time. Have you considered talking to a grief couselor?

Answer 5

Yes you will feel this way for a long time. The hurt never goes away. But go to your doctor to get something because you may also be going through a little depression. My best friend was the same way. And I found out that you can get very ill from having a
broken heart. You take care of you for your sake and your children's. Good luck to you.

Answer 6

because you too were together for so long you prob feel like you've lost a best friend, boyfriend, and husband all in one. Honestly you haven't, he's with you everyday, he is in your children. There in NOTHING WRONG with still hurting, but you may have to find a way to let go if it is causing a change in your life and/or making you severely depressed. You are very normal, and don't let anyone tell you you're not. Just pray, and if you don't start. he is still with you, trust me. Chances are he does little things that make it known that he is there.

Answer 7

I have not lost the love of my life but in the past couple of years I have lost my mother and brother it's been a hard couple of years. I for one lived over 1000 miles away and the thing I miss the most is one last call. I was fortunate to hear my mom say she loved me, this took all her ability because she was hard of hearing and was died of breast cancer. As for my brother I had a dream that he was playing with my sister on the other side. I knew right away he and my sister were okay. Mom came to me when I was driving the car to see her at exactly 2:30 pm on Nov 1 I felt her hand on my check and woke-up my husband and told him we were to late. We got to the hospital and she had died a at 2:31 pm on Nov 1. Dream of him and you will get what you need.

Answer 8

Everybody grieves in different ways and for different period of time. Perhaps it would help you to get some grief counseling. I am so sorry for your loss. I know it has to be really hard for you since people always grieve the loss of their first love even when not due to death. You may find some comfort in reading this.

Answer 9

It is perfectly normal to feel like that, even after 10 years. you are probably going to think about him the rest of your life. But instead of grieving over his loss, think about all of the GOOD times you had with him. He will always be with you and your children in the heart and soul.
Shawn
hope this helps

Answer 10

if i were in you ii would just pray about it and when you feel down just go or talk to a friend