Do marriages that need/have therapy survive? Really?

Question

Anyone that has had experieinces of couples councelling - please share your experieinces:
a) did it work
b) are you happy now
c) any thoughts on how to get the most from it?

Did it get better before it got worse?
How did you relight the spark eg. Physical Attraction etc

Answer 1

a) worked very well
b) both of us are very happy now and we hated each other
c) both must be willing and participate

Would recommend it to everybody but choose your counsellor wisely.

Answer 2

All married people need therapy at one time or another.Married people should expect this,instead of having a fairy tale marriage that will never live up to there expectation's.Instead of viewing therapy as a problem that needs to be solved,view it as though it is a way to become intimate with each other,and look forward to your therapy session's.I believe a third party that is invited to solve some of your most intimate issue's is not a good thing though.My belief is the best form of therapy is just the 2 of you a drink to relax,and some really good marriage manuals that ask intimate questions of each other,with exercises that both of you can do together,give one another a reward for extra high points on exercises that have points for correct answers,reward each other for good behavior.some really good books me and my hubby have read are(1)The Intimate Enemy(2)Husbands wives and sex(3)Lonely husbands and lonely Wives(4) Together Forever from a christian viewpoint(5)(6)The 10 stupidest things men and women do while married.To your last question act as though you are a star in a movie,and your leading role is to act as though you are crazy about your s/o or pretend you are a porn star, or your partner is,the trick is to act out your fantasy as though you have no choice every day, after awhile it will become a habit, and natural to act as though you are crazy about each other,turned on by each other,and you will forget you are acting,it becomes the real thing instead.Good Luck

Answer 3

I went through a near divorce and did a lot of research into it. I found a very interesting article written by a psychologist who now specialises in saving marriages. He reckons counselling is the worst thing because it's usually only one of the couple who desperately wants it and it sends the other one running even further. He says it only works if both want it and listed loads of alternatives and they all worked for me - I wish I could find the article for you! But basically it was about agreeing with everything the other one says (even divorce when you don't really want it) because agreeing gets the other ones defences down immediately. He said no crying, no arguing, no blaming etc etc and basically being the person they fell in love with in the first place. There's a lot more to it of course...
Good luck!

Answer 4

yes. i have never had therapy for a relationship (well technically we never did together) but all a relationship needs sometimes is to be heard from the other side. you know, walk a mile in the other's shoes? this is the only way to do it, to hear their side of the story. many times it clears things up.

Answer 5

uhm- no-ive never gone to councelling --- ive been told that is does help- depending on if you and you partner are both freely and willing to hear what a professional has to say-- and take it into consideration. I cantrly answer the bit if i am happy now--- but the ones that tryd it are----- and to get the most from it is to try anything and everything possible (basically things that are recommended) to help out te relationship---- take care x.

Answer 6

a) In my case it worked.
b) Yes
c) The most important thing I learnt in Therapy is to respect each other.
Try to surprise you partner.
Visit old places.
Good luck.
Alexandra

Answer 7

it has to be yes because if you both commit to resolving your problem and you both want it why would it not work they give you the basic tools to help with what causes the main problem it may be down to expectation or lack of communication as long as you both are committed to making it work it will
just remember though you cannot make a silk purse out of a sows ear

Answer 8

a - yes
b - yes and no - different problems
c -YES
DON'T be afraid to change counsellors if yours isn't working for you. People seem to feel more loyal to their counsellor than their spouse! I don't get it.