im on holiday (in africa), travelling in a tour bus. there is a group of 6 of us, 5 men and 1 woman. (im one of the guys.) anyway, one of the guys has established himself as the alpha male in our group (by being sporty and showing he is physically the strongest.) this is ok with me, apart from the fact that he is being really mean to me! i am more confident than him when it comes to talking to girls, and when were in bars i often dance on my own and people are impressed wtih my dancing, but he isnt confident enough at dancing to do that. so now that he sees im more confident in some ways than him, he sees me as a threat, so he insults me and makes jokes about me. its getting really annoying! its actually getting me down a bit too. its harder to enjoy it with him breathing down my neck the whole time. he also lies quite a lot to sound impressive or to assert his position as alpha male. what should i do to get him off my back?
thanks in advance
2007-02-08 05:30:33 · 12 answers · asked by john9999999 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Leave him to it. Be yourself and let his snide remarks go over your head. Its obvious he's pretending to be something he's not and if you've picked up on it so will the others in your party. Take a step back and wait until the others start bitching about him then leave them to deal with him. Do not be drawn into his petty egotistical games. His lack of confidence with women and dancing is being shoved onto you to try and make you feel as inadequate as he is probably feeling. Dont be drawn into his games because you'll lose and will be seen as being as equally shallow as he is.
Shrug off his remarks and insults.
The best way to deal with a dick like that is to totally ignore him and his insults. It will prove you to be the better man.
Personally, I would ask him what problem he had with me in front of all the other members, i would put him on the spot and question his lies, BUT, you are not me. I enjoy the odd confrontation with someone who has a problem with me for no reason at all, just to prove i am no walk over. As i mentioned, you are not me, and have a different attitude, so ignore the idiot and he'll force his own downfall. Just sit back, watch and smirk to yourself knowing that it was coming.
If your in Africa on hols, why are you on here? Is it that bad?
Have fun and be yourself, not some 'fake' alpha male.
2007-02-08 07:23:07 · answer #1 · answered by nik xxx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's making himself look like an idiot anyway.
Although it's really hard to hold your tongue, try and ignore him. But when there's a chance I'd pull him aside and ask him why he is being such a jerk and a pain in the ar.e He may not realise he's doing it, but I'd explain that when you were in Tibet with the monks they taught you a very good form of karate unknown in the western world and that you can kill someone by a single touch when they are sleeping. Then when you were with the tribes in Papau New Guinea they taught you how to make poisoned potions from tree roots. At a last resort I'd tell him you just had a conversation with a head hunter there in the outback of Africa that wanted to trade a beaded necklace he was wearing with someone of your group,,,who does he suggest and is the answer the same as you?
2007-02-08 06:07:05 · answer #2 · answered by rose1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
around 2 years previous is whilst a canines will start up problematical for the alpha place. that's what he's doing! yet that does no longer advise you may face as much as him, if it gets actual, he will win! as a exchange you may get him to a expert behaviorist superb away. they are in a position to grant you the wonderful steps to "prepare him who's boss". Your vet can advise somebody. Getting him neutered has a 50% probability of adjusting the situation. because of the fact the testosterone has been working via his physique for a pair of three hundred and sixty 5 days and a a million/2, and could stay there after he's neutered. save the door on your son's room closed, which will save him away from mattress and save the the two one in each and every of you from stepping into it in the intervening time. Like I mentioned, do no longer push it with him, you do no longer choose it escalating! For the sake of your infants and your sanity, get him to a behaviorist. seem for a individual with a minimum of a Masters degree, A PhD could be much extra effective! good luck!
2016-11-02 21:49:55 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep being you and ignore him. If you can't ignore him (and you sound like you are on the edge of that) then DO NOT allow him to bait you. Don't lower yourself to his level. Pretend that you are a person trying to defuse a bomb.... you must understand all the components of the bomb to NOT blow yourself up. Compliment what he does well. When he bugs you, turn his words around to acknowledge his input, but still maintain your dignity. Humour is a good weapon... use it wisely. Alpha males are ultimately insecure. He does not really believe he is in control, hence the pissing contests. If you can come across as a friend to all with a big sense of humour, then people will support you. Bullies rely on the reaction of the crowd... you need the crowd on your side. Being yourself in this situation is really the best 'weapon'.
2007-02-08 05:40:41 · answer #4 · answered by Mikisew 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
woooo, africa bringing out the cave man i say. Ok either get you c#cks out and slap them on the table to establish who has the biggest trouser snake, or if you are not happy with that as a indicator as who is the alpha, or you don't mind him being the 'alpha' then............ carry on as normal man! Keep up your cool dancing and smooth lines with the girls and keep smiling eventually he will crumble in a pile of submission if he keeps his 'over inflated ego' going the way you suggest. Just play it cool, perhaps even laugh at one of his jokes?
2007-02-08 05:42:03 · answer #5 · answered by wave 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
continue to be yourself and let him continue to be a jackass, and in time the rest of the group and you should distance yourself from him and do things such as plan things without his input and exude your confidence and just ignore his ignorance, this will really get his goat , and of course as a last resort just haul off and knock the hell out of him with a lot of people around, the crowd will immediately break it up but you will have shown him that your no push over , of course if your around Louisiana and got some extra change in your pocket give me a holler we here in cajun country have ways of humbling even the most obnoxious punks. in fact theyre still finding katrina victims if ya know what i mean........good luck to ya and stand your ground the more he knows he can get over on ya the more he will do it.
2007-02-08 05:49:24 · answer #6 · answered by roger c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you and him get drunk together as guys and have a long chat about male life and your respective attitudes, you just might find you really get along fine thereafter
2007-02-08 05:50:22 · answer #7 · answered by Wamibo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know the answer for the modern generation, but in my day your friend and me would tangle physically. Win or lose, he lets you be.
2007-02-08 05:44:02 · answer #8 · answered by steve.c_50 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried arsenic in his tea or a baseball bat to the head?
Works every time for me!!
2007-02-08 05:39:18 · answer #9 · answered by Alf B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol, u can still make him look less than u in social situations, work on your wit, and makes it so that any threats of violence towards you would make him look bad, not you.. <- because he is unable 2 argue or w/e
clown the **** outta that fool
2007-02-08 05:41:19 · answer #10 · answered by p34nu7bu773rj3lly7im3 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋