I love my husband. Why can't I be more loving to him?

Question

I have been with my husband for 5 years and we have two kids. I love my family. I am a stay at home mom and I appreciate my husband doing all the working and making the money, but when he is home he wants to be loving and close, but I can't stand it. I don't know why. Sex is not on my mind at all! I hate that I feel this way and sometimes I make myself be with him when I don't want to. I love him with all my heart. Why can't i love to be with him like I used to? Is this normal?

Answer 1

Taking advice from the ladies on this is like asking a hit man about how to feel good about murder.

Most men desperately want to make love to their wife as often as they can. It is our primary method of connection.

If you deny your husband the sex, love and affection that he NEEDS your marriage will soon be toast. Either an affair, or just him leaving you, or being miserable forever.

Sex is a positive feedback mechanism - the more you have, the more you want. Just DO it! On your mind or not, if you do it, don't you enjoy it?

Get over yourself. Marriages need this. Deny it at your peril.

Your husband probably doesn't want to go clothes shopping with you either, but probably goes so you'll be happy. If sex for you is even less interesting than clothes shopping is for him, you have a real big problem.

Answer 2

Yes, that is normal, specially if you are so tired taking good care your two kids, taking good care the bundles of laundry, dishes, carpets....it makes your day so tired and dry...... Well, spice it up! Get a Nanny or relatives just for enough for two days and spend your time with your husband to the restaurant and then go together to the hotel or a short vacation somewhere where you can forget for a while the kids and concentrate your attention to your husband. And let him to massage you, to serve you like a princess. After both of you already relax, then be honest to your husband about your feelings and ask him for advice what to do and hear his opinion about the situation and tell him that you need his help because you love him all of your heart. Be open to him so that he can help you. He is your best friend, lover and a husband. Communication is the best way. God bless you and your family.

Answer 3

Some times, especially after the kids come along, women tend to lose the desire to have sex.

Be frank with yourself:

Is it just that you feel tired after the long day you have spent looking after the home and kids, don't belittle yourself because you don't go out to work, most housewives work much harder than office-goers,
OR
Is it that you have fallen out of love with your husband, it can happen to even the best matched couples in the world,

Once you have recognized the reason, you have to find the cure.

Make sure that you have a rest before it is time for him to come home.
Take a hot shower, relax for a little while with a magazine or book.
List all the things that you like about him.
Try to bring back the romance in your life.
Have an evening out, just the two of you, without the kids.
Go for walk in the park, on a weekend.

Answer 4

This is the same exact thing that I am going through right now. We have been married 2 years and we have a 19 month old daughter. I was also asking myself if this was normal! I talked to my gyno on my last annual visit and she sat down with me and talked to me about it. She said a lot of people have a hard time understanding that they can be "mom" and "lover" at the same time. She also said woman aren't always needing sex to be romantically satisfied like most men, sometimes the companionship and love that we receive from a man is enough to satisfy our desires and we can go without the love making part. But, your husband needs more and it is up to you to make it work, no one said marriage is easy. My situation has gotten a little better because I see the hurt it is causing my husband and that it motivation enough.

Answer 5

Stay at home moms are working harder than any other human beings on earth! That being said, you are going to have to either get some counselling or try to put the kids to bed a little early and then enjoy your husband. Intimacy is very important in a marriage. Taking care of the kids and house are huge responsibilities. You need to get your head in the right place to be with your husband and the intimacy will come back.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 6

it is normal but before things get out of hand and he seeks it outside the marriage just go with it, as divorce is hard and when men feel they are not getting what they want out of the marriage, they will seek someone outside the marriage, and there are so many women out there just waiting for the chance to sleep with him, that maybe u might want to think it over and be more accommodating. think we women get tired , we cook and clean some of us work outside the home also. we just get caught up in life and sex really isn't on our minds, doesn't mean we don't love him. but a word of advice give him what he wants if u don't someone else will, and it could mean the end of your marriage, all over that dreaded thing we sometimes avoid.

Answer 7

Yes, what you are feeling is normal. Men are sex monkeys and women know that there are more important things in this life. It gets VERY frustrating, but that's life. Men wanna *** all the damn time. It's stupid really but there's not much you can do about it except put out when he wants it and be done with it. I hate it too. I love my husband, but I detest having sex with him. Oh well, sh!t happens and then you die. Try to be a good wife and mom and that's the best you can do.

Answer 8

No thats not normal if you've only been married 5 years and love him so much, have you talked to your family doctor about this? You may consider doing so.

Answer 9

I don't know what normal is... who does... but it doesn't sound right. If you love him then isn't it natural to want him sexually. I mean isn't that what sex means, love. Ask anyone who is upset about their S.O. having an affair.. they feel like they lost that person's love.