but my college friends are not really supportive abt it and since we are doing a group project, they are more concern that i wont be able to do my job. the thing is, how can i focus on my work when theres things that happening in my house that troubles me? ughhhh... help me!!!
2007-02-08 05:22:13 · 11 answers · asked by little lulu 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You are in a difficult position. Your group project is DEFINITELY important since it is a commitment to the others, and it needs to be completed for a class grade. But you are also caught up in a family crisis that is taking all of your energy right now. Also, It sounds like you want your friends to support you and listen to you, and they clearly have their energies on the project.
DON'T expect your friends to be in your corner right now. Find a crisis counselor at school to talk to about this so that you have a place to vent and a place to share your concerns.
But also don't make this crisis a reason for you to give up. You still have responsibilities at school and responsibilities to your group project. This is a rough time for you, and you have to have the courage to keep going.
Good luck!
2007-02-08 05:32:08 · answer #1 · answered by The Author 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there is something you can do to help remedy the situation at home, take the time to do it so that you can get on with other aspects of your life. If there is nothing you can do about it, worrying is not going to help the situation.
I know it is IMPOSSIBLE to not worry about the family crisis, so what you can do is schedule a time to worry about it and promise yourself that you will put it out of your mind until the allotted time.
This works for all kinds of worries: set up a "Worry Box" whenever you think of something that you are worried about, write it down on a piece of paper and promise yourself that you will worry about it at a specific time (say like every Tuesday night). Put the paper in a box and try not to think about it again. When Tuesday night rolls around, open the box and sort through the papers. Toss the ones that have worked themselves out (you will be surprised about how many will!) then go over the ones that are still bothersome. See if there is anything you can do about the problems...if there is write down a list of things you can do. If there is nothing you can do about the problems, then go ahead and allow yourself some time to worry about them, then put them back in the box until next Tuesday.
I know it sounds weird and too simplistic. But it just may work for you.
2007-02-08 13:33:52 · answer #2 · answered by Stormie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let go, Let flow, Let love. All you can do is live in the now, you can not worry about what is going on there because of where you are now, you can not do anything about it. Do no neglect your feelings all the way, but try to put your attention on other things like your project so that you will not worry so much. Let love, love them from a distance because you can't physically be there, and keep abreast on things. Hopefully you have a close family so everything will work out ok. Even if the outcome is not that positive you have to say to yourself EVERYTHING happens for a purpose. The purpose may not be known now but later it will all come full circle , So let go, let flow, let love, and be patient.
2007-02-08 13:30:23 · answer #3 · answered by Danielle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell yourself that the family trouble will still be there an hour from now. I'm betting there's not much you can do about it at this exact moment, anyway. So make a deal with yourself that you will put it out of your mind for the next hour while you focus on the project, and then come back to it later today with a fresh mind.
2007-02-08 13:27:16 · answer #4 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, you do have a commitment to both the group and your family. This will be a good learning opportunity on dealing with multiple aspects of your life at one time - later on it will be trying to focus on work at your job and having family problems and criseses. It's a balancing act that you have to learn. If it's an assignment that is due soon, you really need to foucs some time on working with the group to get it done. If you can, try to get your portion done and hand it over to the group to incorporate and let them know that is the best you can do during this difficult time.
2007-02-08 13:32:06 · answer #5 · answered by ckgusto 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your family is in crisis and that is where your heart is then you have to deal with that first. Your family is forever but college is just a few years. If you have to, explain that your family has to be first and that you will do your best to still help or they can reassign your part of the work. If they dont understand then chances are they arent your friends anyway. Good luck
2007-02-08 13:28:42 · answer #6 · answered by funloving_selfassured_redhead 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
although it's very difficult to put your personal problems aside it's probably your best bet. have you considered talking about it with a friend or even putting all of your feelings down in some type of journal? when you get your problems off your chest it can be quite relieving.
if your friends aren't being supportive then you may want to reconsider calling them friends. friends are those people who are supposed to be there for you, to help you through the rough times in your life...
i'm sure if you get your problem off your chest you'll have a much easier time taking care of your project.
no matter what your problem is, you can't let it eat you alive!
2007-02-08 13:34:09 · answer #7 · answered by viciousroadie@verizon.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you need an extension on the project then you should speak to your teacher about it. Your college friends have every right to be concerned. If you don't do your share then their grades could be affected. Talk to your professor and try to work something out.
2007-02-08 13:27:12 · answer #8 · answered by leaptad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i must say that this is a hard situation to deal with...but try to do your work first than handle the home stuff later...or if your grade is high slack off a little and deal with the situation at home...try speaking with your professor to let him know what is going on so he can understand your slack with the group....and seek some family consoling so this wont make college hard on you
2007-02-08 13:30:44 · answer #9 · answered by chanel_mitchell06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well seeing how you didn't explain your work or what's going on in your house, try going to a library for quiet.
2007-02-08 13:26:41 · answer #10 · answered by rothe_jabbuk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋