My husband left a year ago because he was involved with another women. Two months ago he left her and a week after that he told me that he wants a divorce. Now he is sending flowers and emailing pictures of the kids and calling to chat. What is up with this? I am seeing someone else, so there will be no bed activity, in or out of one. Have you done this? What gives?
2007-02-08 05:11:48 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I asked him when he is filing for the divorce. He said that he doesn't want to file, it is up to me. What????????
2007-02-08 05:18:13 · update #1
He is just looking for a quick "stick and move"
2007-02-08 05:15:17 · answer #1 · answered by Kdog 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Grass is greener syndrome.
Men are VERY visual. What they SEE is what they WANT, whether it's good for them or not. Commitment is boring, adultery is exciting, for a while. When we realize that all is not as it appears to be, suddenly we want a mommy to take care of us again. Safe, secure, respectable.
In our dreams, we want forgiveness without repentance, acceptance without reconciliation and want the women who have been abandoned to just forget that it ever happened. Short-term recall is a nice thing if you can get it in a woman.
Men are tempted EVERY DAY and there are some women who are TEMPTING every day, usually in a premeditated way.
So. You should consider the alternatives which have the top 3:
1. Take him back.
2. Divorce him and stay a single parent.
3. Divorce him and marry someone else.
There are pros and cons to each alternative. Good luck.
2007-02-08 13:24:22 · answer #2 · answered by Thomas K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he senses you are moving on and not dependent on him, and that raised his interest in you. You are more interesting if you can be confident and a little independent to all males. The trouble is, will his interest in you remain this high if you get back together, or will you two fall into familiar patterns having learned nothing?
56% of the time it doesn't last, and about 90% of the time the couple can't get to that "happy couple" stage that everybody wants but few know how to maintain.
2007-02-08 13:23:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through all these stressful times. I am not sure why your husband did this to you, and it is your right if he was cheating on you for you to find another partner. I personally would never do this (or hope I never do this). My simple answer to your question is that many men crave sex, and that's all they see. That is probably why he left you in the first place, and he probably just used the girl he was with for a weak for cheap sex. Again, I'm really sorry that this happened, and is happening, to you. I wish you the best.
2007-02-08 13:19:50 · answer #4 · answered by futurerobertocarlos7 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he wants to keep you in the background in case his love life goes downhill. He wants to make sure that you still love him in case he wants you (or something from you) at some point. He must be terribly insecure. I would stay away and hold course on the divorce. He just wants to play you and to know that you will be there for him if he can't find someone else. Don't play!
2007-02-08 13:24:43 · answer #5 · answered by Dovie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never done anything like that, I leave cheating to the girls of my generation (22) since they're good at that, but I can tell you in a nutshell he's basically doing that because he exhausted his other option when he left her and now he's trying to use you as a "back up plan" so he's not completely out of luck as far as relationships go. Sounds like he's full of ****.
2007-02-08 13:16:18 · answer #6 · answered by timster1984 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
out of disreguard to our feelings my husband cheated also he hasn't filed either i think the person cheats and break thier marrige should have to pay for a divorce sounds like your husband is trying to bribe his way back with flowers and emails of the kids maybe he wants another chance but he may hurt you again cheating
2007-02-11 16:13:04 · answer #7 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex did a similar thing to me after he left (although we don't have kids) but he was sending texts and calling me wanted to meet for coffee etc etc.. i found out later that it was because he was feeling guilty about leaving me and wanted me to forgive him..
Perhaps he is feeling guilty to and is affaird that you will take his kids away from him. My advice, if he doesn't want to work on the marriage and try to save it then divorce him but maintain a civil relationship for the sake of your children. I am not saying meet for coffee and dinner etc but when you do bump into him be friendly.
good luck
2007-02-08 13:44:57 · answer #8 · answered by Angel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He still wants to be friends this is why. Just divorce him and let him go but do in on friendly terms. Wait until the divorce is final before being with this other guy.
2007-02-08 13:15:14 · answer #9 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
he knows you are always going to be there that is why he does this. and get your kids back they are the most important thing. Let him know what he missed out on. Make him sweat girl friend.
Or if you think you can work it out go for it everyone deserves a second chance but only a second.
2007-02-08 13:16:41 · answer #10 · answered by timikayoung 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's just sex. He got involved with another woman, because he was attracted to her and wanted sex. Then he mistake that sex for love. He realizes that what he had with you was real love and now regrets it. Your were the best for him, but some one came into the picture and made him feel, like you used to when you first went out. It was just sex. His lost.
2007-02-08 13:19:59 · answer #11 · answered by sjshark32 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋