HI EVERYBODY.MY NAME IS RACHEL.I AM 16 YEARS OLD. I AM SO CONFUSED BECAUSE I MET THE LOVE OF MY LIFE IN DECEMBER OF 2005. & WE WERE DATING FOR A YEAR AND SOME MONTHS.BUT THEN HE CHEATED ON ME...I BROKE UP WITH HIM & WE DIDNT SEE EACH OTHER FOR ABOUT HALF A YEAR. BUT THE WHOLE TIME I THOUGHT ABOUT HIM AND CRIED FOR HIM.NOW LIKE 7MONTHS LATER HE CMAE BACK & WE HAD BEEN TALKING ABOUT GETTING BACK TOGETHER.I TOOK HIM BACK.BUT I STILL THINK HE IS CHEATING.& VALENTINES DAY IS COMING & HES TALKING ABOUT PROPOSING.HE SAID WE COULD BE ENGAGED FOR 2 YEARS & THEN GET MARRIED WHEN I TURN 18 & HE WILL BE 20.YEAH I LOVE HIM AND I WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH HIM BUT IS HE THE RIGHT ONE?WHAT SHOULD I DO?AM I TOO YOUNG TO START THINKING ABOUT THIS?WHAT SHOULD I DO?
2007-02-08 05:02:16 · 44 answers · asked by DA1&ONLY_RACHEL ~ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You're 16. I'm betting you can't pick an ice cream flavor to love for the rest of your life, much less a guy. Let things flow, let some time pass and if in a year or two you might start thinking about the rest of your life.
2007-02-08 05:05:17 · answer #1 · answered by wizjp 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you think you are too young to be thinking or even talking about this kind of stuff you probably are.
Trust me, things are so different when you are older. I turned 25 this year. You have no idea how many things happen, change and become the opposite of what they are right now.
Don't sell yourself short. Give yourself the opportunity to experience life. What does marriage really mean? It isn't happily ever after, it won't fix a broken relationship, it won't mean anything at all.
All that changes is this...
you take his last name
you can file taxes together
you can have children in wed lock
Basically nothing else changes. As much as it is a symbol that you are planning on spending the rest of your lives together, it isn't a guarantee. It doesn't mean that it will happen. Things happen and people change. What is more meaningful is that you maintain a relationship in which you are faithful, understanding and in love with each other. Marriage is just a legal thing. You don't need to get married to represent your love you can do that in so many other ways.
Remember if he is the right one, he wil be the right one if you marry in a year or five years. So don't rush it.
2007-02-08 05:11:41 · answer #2 · answered by krystal c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. You are too young. And he is absolutely enjoying the attention. If you stood up straight, turned your back and did your own thing, he'd be groveling at your feet.
If you marry anyone before you are 25, you will likely end up divorced. You will change *SO* much between now and the time you are 30, you won't even recognize yourself... At 18, you marry him and saddle yourself with this selfish, cheating, lying, inconsiderate dolt, and at 20, you wake up one morning and realize that this is NOT the way you want to spend the rest of your life. I don't expect a 16-year-old who's posting in the "Marriage and Divorce" section to take my word for any of this, but on the off chance that you do, well, there's my two cents. Good luck.
2007-02-08 05:30:18 · answer #3 · answered by Independence 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he cheated on you once he will cheat on you twice. DON'T BE IN A BIG HURRY TO GET MARRIED!!!!!!!! If this guy really does love you he will wait until the end of time for you to marry him. You are young and have a long life ahead of you. At 16 you have a great opportunity to have a lot of fun,as you should. Have as much fun as you can. Marriage isn't necessarily all that much fun. It starts out fun but then shortly after that it turns to work. You have to work together to make it fun. That's not that easy to do. I would say wait until you are atleast 20 before you start thinking about marriage. It will take you that long to figure out where you want to go in life.
2007-02-08 05:19:26 · answer #4 · answered by Yaasbut 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to him and tell him if he does propose, that you are not ready for that certainty yet, and remind him that you were hurt when he cheated and you want to make sure that he will not do something like that again and that he will be a loyal and honest partner which will take some more of being together. Don't commit yourself to something that could be a disaster, you will put yourself in a trap. You should wait it out and see how it goes for another year. You are yung and things change all the time. Talk to him about it if he brings it up before he proposes, because if you talk to him about it after he makes plans he might be hurt and upset. You are way too young to commit yourself to something like that especially if he cheated on you before. You could definatley find a guy that would be completely loyal, but if you really like this one, I would wait a couple mroe years to see if he is faithful. Any guy that really loves you will wait as long as it takes for you to be happy and to get married.
2007-02-08 05:10:11 · answer #5 · answered by Fil D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't trust the guy. If he cheats once, who's to say he'll never cheat again?
Also, if you guys broke up and he went away for a while, he probably was with other girls. And then he says you were still a couple? Well, if so, and if he did date other girls, isn't that, ipso facto, cheating?
I understand how hard this is to you, but I would try to move on.
Go out with some friends--guys and girls -- on Valentine's Day, and do something fun, like bowling or go to an amusement park or something. You never know--you may hook up !
Don't go with couples.though. You'll feel like the 3rd wheel on a bicycle and it'll just bring you down and you'll have no fun.
Go with other single people.
2007-02-08 05:09:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it doesn't matter how old you are. if he cheated on you then he is not worth your life. he doesn't respect you. yeah, he may be sorry now, but cheaters always cheat. he will do it again because you took him back the first time. (sometimes cheaters really are sorry and don't cheat again but it's hard to tell, you have to take the chance.) i myself was engaged at 16, we weren't going to get married until after i turned 18, but we didn't work out. we loved each other soooo much but we were too young. we weren't ready for the real world together. we still talk now (after we broke up we wouldn't talk but i stopped hating him so much) and i am sure that if we ever wanted to work it out again we could because we both grew up. but it's not going to happen, i have a kid now and he doesn't even live anywhere near me anymore, it just wasn't meant to be.
2007-02-08 05:17:57 · answer #7 · answered by pikachu 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He already cheated so why trust him again? You know the old saying, trick me once shame on you trick me twice shame on me? And yes, you're too young to be thinking of marriage, enjoy being young there are too many men out there to be tied down to one. I got married at 19 and although we are still together and I love him sooo much sometimes I wish I could just be single again cuz it's hard work to be married you worry a lot and stress a lot. If you want to keep dating this guy fine, but really how will marriage help the relationship especially when you don't fully trust him?
2007-02-08 05:10:43 · answer #8 · answered by crystal 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are both too young. And, you will meet lots of boys you will feel just as strongly about as you get older. First, finish school. Then take your time. This boy is propably not the right one for you. Once he has cheated on you, you cannot ,in the deepest part of your heart, ever forgive him. (If I had married the boy I had to have when I was sixteen, I would be standing in the visiting line at the state prison right now).
2007-02-08 05:11:40 · answer #9 · answered by Ti 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, he cheated once. You think that he's cheating again. That's not a sign that he is willing to be with you and only you forever. Seriously think about this. I know I thought that I had found my one and only years ago, it turns out that after a few years, he started taking advantage of me. You have to be 100% sure that you will be his one and only. If there is ANY doubt in your mind, then it won't work. If you want to be engaged for a while, then that's great. After you finish school, live with him for a while, see what it's like. If I were you, I would leave him for someone who will love you and only you!
2007-02-08 05:08:30 · answer #10 · answered by crodriguez1010 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋