i have three children-11,10,6 yrs, i've been dating this guy and left my kids with my mother.?

Question

i now live with him. my kids wanted to finish the school year out in their school before coming along. the kids said that they now want to live with my mother and visit me on weekends.
i've been with my kids from the start (single parent) worked to take care of them. this guy is good to them and me. in everyway! What do i do?

Answer 1

your kids belong with you and your bf/other 1/2. Kids want whats great at the moment, in a month or so, they will want to come back to you. This is why they are kids and you are a parent. Your mother raised her kids, now you should raise yours. Be firm and reassure them that this will be great, they are probably scared and leaving security is terrifying for a child. Be a mom and step up, make your relationship a family!

Answer 2

Well, if he was such a good guy, and you were such a good mom, you would have spent time with your children until school was over, and seen this man when you were available and able to make time. Why would you leave your children to be raised by anyone, who cares if it is your mom. To go and run after a man. Hmm. Just my opinion. Sounds to me as though you need to evaluate and do some soul searching and figure out what is most important in life. Chasing after a man or being with your children while they grow. Once a women decides to have children her life is no longer her own. Not until the children are grown and able to provide for themselves. And what kind of man would want an women who leaves her children to chase after a man. The two of you are perfect for each other. Desperate for attention. Perhaps you should consider some counseling. Good luck to you and your family. I hope you all get this sorted out, and please do what is best for the children. Stop being so selfish. God bless****

Answer 3

I would sit down with the kids and ask them why they don't want to live with you. Could be that the think that you will love this new guy more tham him. How long have you been dating this guy?
Have you talked to your mother about this? You need to do what is best for your kids, no matter what. Now I do not know what is best for them so I can't help there but talk with them could it be that they don't want to leave there friends? How far away from your mother do you live?

Answer 4

Why are your surprised? You left the kids with mom to play house with the boyfriend. Kids need stability and right now it sounds like that stability is with your mother.

You chose to have children, they didn't choose to have a mother that picked a man over them.

Do what is best for your children and ask yourself why you find it necessary to shack up with the boyfriend. Why can't you just date the man and not live together?

Good luck.

Answer 5

it is not elementary to combination a kin at any factor or decrease than any condition. i does no longer walk away except this would be a mutual settlement. i'd communicate with him and in basic terms walk away no remember if this is desperate to be the final for all events. in case you the two prefer to be collectively then possibly take issues slowly and notice one yet another with out related to the youngsters. i'm valuable that is complicated for him yet much extra so for the youngsters. i do no longer understand how previous the youngsters are or how long that is been considering she kicked the bucket besides the indisputable fact that it would take time. i'm valuable the son's thoughts is as a results of the fact he would not prefer yet another lady to substitute his mom. that's organic. He has to work out you in a non-threatening way. i'd circulate into this slowly and with extremely some theory. you apart from would would desire to evaluate your self and your place. Any relationship would be problematic besides the indisputable fact that it creates extra stress once you're placed right into a "mom" place. despite in case you needed infants or have infants this is an entire different ball of wax walking into this occasion. i do no longer understand how long you have known him yet watch issues heavily. There are people who're widowed with infants who're specifically searching for a guy or woman to be a mom for his or her infants- no longer unavoidably desiring a genuine relationship. you will desire to evaluate their thoughts and needs yet to no longer forget approximately your guy or woman desires and needs. you will desire to communicate with him and exhibit your thoughts and concerns. You the two would desire to make a call for what's the final answer on your difficulty. I prefer you the final.

Answer 6

LIfe is far more than getting your Belly jumped on. It has so many things, that can be achieved. By enjoying the rewards of Parenthood. Your Children are gonna be taken care of. But they won't be Loved. Unless, you're there to do it. The Guy needs to stand up and be a man. about it. If it's him or Your Kids? You need to see where your Priorities are.

Answer 7

First YOU left your children. I am sure they feel abandoned and want a stable home. Trust me that will stay will them for the rest of their lives..BAD MOVE !

Second you need to know more about your bf when it comes to your children. There are millions of children that are molested everyday. Just because you think he is good to the kids..he might not be when you aren't around.

Answer 8

I know you seem like you love this guy, and he seems to be good for you and your kids, but the best thing for your children is YOU. Your kids were living with you, and not their father. Now they are living with your mother and not with either parent. I would imagine they are having a difficult time feeling that you may have abandoned them to be with your boyfriend. I don't want to sound harsh, because I'm not trying to be mean. It's just that I am also a single mother (divorced) and my kids have had a difficult time dealing with being away from their father. He lives very far away, in another state. They don't see him because of things he has done. Still, though they know they are better off without him living with us, they still desire a family life that included him in it. I am engaged now, and when I was dating my fiance, I took things very slowly. I made it abundantly clear to my fiance from the beginning that my kids come first. I introduced him to my kids (age 17-1/2 and 8-1/2) gradually, and gave my kids the chance to get to know him and made them aware that they could honestly tell me if they didn't like him. Kids will have difficulty adjusting to a new love-interest in our lives, but if we go about it the right way, demonstrating to our kids that THEY, not the new love interest, come first in our lives, and if we help them accept this new person gradually and with our children's feelings in mind, then kids will usually not feel threatened by that person and will give honest feedback about their feelings regarding that person. I think your mistake was moving in with this guy while your kids live with your mother. Forgive me for sounding harsh, but I think you basically told your kids that this man comes first, above them. I think they feel safe with your mother because they don't feel she will "abandon" them like their father and mother did (I don't know the circumstances re: their father, but he is not there - for whatever reason, a kid will still view it as abandonment). It is understandable that they prefer to live with her. See, I had a very icky divorce trial and a lot of icky stuff came about with regard to my ex. My kids shared their feelings with the court-appointed guardian ad-litem (psychologist/lawyer who acts on behalf of the children to determine who a child should live with). After hearing what the children told the guardian when the guardian read their statements during the trial, it really broke my heart. My kids were torn up emotionally through all of this. They wanted a normal home. They wanted to feel loved, safe and protected. They wanted peace. They wanted to be allowed to be kids. More importantly, they wanted to know that their parents gave a rip about how THEY felt. They knew the divorce had to do with how their PARENTS felt, but to my kids, all they could see was how it was all affecting THEM. This is why I am concerned about the choices you made regarding moving in with your boyfriend, no matter how wonderful he may be. I think you should keep the guy in your life, but find a way to show your kids how MUCH you love them, and try to make it right with them somehow. I think they need to see that THEY are first in your life. Once kids come into our lives, they have to be first. They didn't ask to be born. Once they were born however, it becomes the job of their parent(s) to do everything to give them a loving, stable and secure childhood until such time as they can make their own choices as adults. I am sorry if I sounded mean to you. I am just trying to point out things from the kids' point of view, because I undertand all too clearly, how easily kids can be hurt when parents don't consider their feelings before making life-changing decisions. Good luck to you and your kids. Best wishes to you all.

Answer 9

You should keep your children in a stable loving home with you.....

Children need security and structure and their mom....

I would not have left my children to move in with a boyfriend...

If I was going to move my children I would have waited to move myself until school was over ......they come first

Answer 10

You should stay with your kids because guys come and go.How sure this guy wouldn't leave or do you wrong.I say go back to your kids.They need you.