Why is is people say to marry someone that loves you more?

Question

You hear it in movies, my mother told me it... but why? I thought love should be equal?

Answer 1

It's a question of security. If you stay with someone who loves you more they are less likely to leave you. In my opinion love should be as balanced as possible. The reason being is that it is soo hard to have a perfect relationship. But that balance will keep the fire alive.

Answer 2

More than likely the idea of marrying someone who loves you more is actually selfish motive, quite frankly, because it is in hopes of protecting yourself. The thing to keep in mind is that the “In Love” feeling you experience at first is a chemical reaction that people experience. The true “Love” that occurs in a committed relationship is a choice and not just a feeling.

I am not saying there doesn’t need to be passion, as there obviously does, but true love is also about two individuals employing good communication, sharing common interests, accepting each other as they are and being willing to remain committed through the good and the bad. Unfortunately there comes a point where you have to trust your partner and that they will continue to choose to love you until the end. There is no guarantee of that no matter how in love they seem at first.

My ex wife was definitely “in love” when we dated but that faded and she never made the choice to “love” me after that. We had little in common and she was incapable of remaining committed. That eventually led to our divorce, but as it turns out I have now found an amazingly passionate and loving woman who definitely feels right. But once again I will have to make the choice to trust that the love will last, no matter how head over heals she is now.

The key is not finding someone who seems more in love at first. The key is communication. At the beginning and years down the line. If you have someone you can truly open up to and who truly opens up to you then I believe you are more likely to have a successful relationship. Never try and base a successful marriage on the in love and honeymoon phase dating experience. I have learned from life that is highly likely to lead to failure.

Answer 3

We need to break things down a bit here.

First, love is love. It's an unconditional thing where you accept somebody as they are.

Second, there is this thing called interest. Part of what attracts us to our partners and keeps us with them is how interesting we think they are. From past experience, i think a man's interest in his mate can go down to about 40% before you've got serious problems (complaining, he feels trapped, etc, etc), but if a woman's gets down to below 50%, she's basically gone (even if she stays) and all romance is dead forever.

With the second point in mind, two people are never going to be at the same interest level as each other all the time, and the level of interest is going to go up and down (there is work that must be done in a relationship and in terms of personal development for interest levels to stay about about 60% which is where you want to keep it_. And women tend to be more emotionally driven, so I really do believe that you want a woman who is only slightly more interested in you than you are in her most of the time because she has more options in terms of hooking up (although not neccessarily with somebody as good as you, but the local bar has all kinds of degenerates ready to go home with her). I think you are in the marriage zone if the two of you can be somewhere north of 80% interested, and hopefully the man is around 85% and the woman is around 90% interested.

And keep in mind, relationships take work, or those levels are coming down in a hurry.

Answer 4

You are right love should be equal but it is good if they love you more lol... One of the advantages if it is the case that is all. Kinda like a bonus you know.

Answer 5

You should marry someone you are comfortable and compatible with. Forget the movies. You will learn.

Answer 6

i have heard that in movies before but no matter how much they love you some people won't stay that way. My husband swore he loved me more...but than cheated, guess i loved him more!

Answer 7

The one who cares less runs the show- think about it

Answer 8

care your self love a good mind

Answer 9

i didn't realize love was a competion