i need help with putting my child to bed without me holding him all night!?

Question

my son is 7 and a half months old, and the only way he will fall asleep is by me holding him. is it ok if i let him cry himself to sleep? because i want him to learn to sleep on his own. also, when he does fall asleep in my arms, as soon as i lay him down hes standing up crying! what can i do? and shouldi let him cry it out?

Answer 1

put him in his bed lovingly after a quiet period. Let him cry, if he wakes up crying in the night go in and rub a couple of circles on his back and say go back to sleep, I love you. DO NOT go back to holding him to sleep. It is healthier for him to go to bed and go to sleep every night. He will adjust very quickly if you do not act like you are upset about doing it. He is working you. They learn that first, no matter what anyone tells you.

Answer 2

It's time to develop a bedtime routine. Once you have a regular routine such as, bathing and reading a book before bed, your son will know what's coming next. Then put him to bed. Let him cry a few minutes then go back in and tell him it's time for bed and lay him back down and leave the room again. You may want to do this a few times while increasing the amount of time you spend out of the room but never more than 3 times.

He will end up having to cry himself to sleep but it is ok.

To avoid having to go through this with future children, you should develop a naptime and bedtime routine from an earlier age. My sister went through this every night with my nephew but my daughter always went to bed on her own. Also, she was amazed that my nephew would put himself to sleep for his nap without any fuss. It was because he was use to the daytime routine I'd developed while caring for him and my daughter.

Answer 3

It's time. It will be a really good thing for both of you. Here is a technique that worked for me, passed down from my sister.

It will be hard to let your baby cry it out, but just stick to the schedule.
1. Make sure baby has clean diaper, bottle/or food.
2. Develop routine like, read, rock, bath...whatever it is, so baby can learn what to expect.
3. Lay child in crib, and let them cry for 5 minutes.
4. Go in, comfort child, do NOT pick them up!!! Lay down with blanket and leave room. Let them cry for 10 minutes, then go in to comfort and lay down again. Always use soft loving voice, and never pick child up. Just keep increasing time by 5 minutes.

After a few days, baby will get the hang of it and you will be so happy when the child can go to sleep without you and without crying. It worked for my kids usually around day 2.

Answer 4

I had the same problem with my baby and this is what we did. She is sleeping through the night with just getting up for one 4 oz bottle at about 1 am. She was 9 months old when we started this.

Before she goes to bed we do our routine - Brush teeth, Bath, Bedtime Story, Bottle (with some cereal in it), Prayers, and then lights out.

When she first wakes, I let her cry for 5 minutes. Then if she doesn't go back to sleep on her own, I check her diaper and see that all is o.k. Then, I lay her down and tell her it's night-night time and to go to sleep.

Then I let her cry for 7-8 more minutes before I go in and soothe her - but DON't pick her up. I just pat her back and "shhhhhh..night-night..." and leave the room. Then I wait 10 more minutes and repeat the process. I never let her cry more than 10 minutes before I go back in and soothe her.

Some people say to let them cry it out for as long as it takes but I think thats too much. It only took 5 nights of this to get her on track to where she is now.

Answer 5

In my experience, I have worked with lots of babies and children, sleep is something that causes some babies lots of anxiety. Crying it out may work with some children, and I think in those cases it is a great method. For some babies it is just never going to work. Don't let people tell you that its your fault as the parent. I really do believe that some babies would fall asleep no matter how parents put them to bed. They may say"I let my child cry it out and she/he sleeps great now". My opinion is that that baby would probably sleep great no matter how he/she is put to sleep. My daughter for example, Anyone can put her to sleep. I could let her cry it out and that works, but I can also put her in asleep and that's fine. Sometimes she falls asleep in our bed and I just put her in her crib. That's just her. A little boy I used to babysit from three months to three years had such a hard time falling asleep. It had more to do with his personality than how he was being put to sleep. He was very high strung, very smart I might add and sleep caused him a great deal of anxiety. I tried to do the cry out method with mom's permission and he would make himself sick crying. He needed lots of comforting and still woke several times a night until he was two. You can try the cry out method and if you do, make sure you are consistent...don't give in. Be prepared to see your child very upset. If your baby is hysterical after a few nights of trying I would stop. You can try again later. By the time they are seven months they can cry a very long time. They also start to show signs of separation anxiety which may make the transition even more difficult. If you aren't ready for the cry it out method, you can try to hover over the crib and pretend you're sleeping. Sometimes I do that with my daughter and she cries for ten minutes or so. I pat her side and carress her head. You can also try flipping him on his stomach firmly and patting his back. He'll fight at first, but after a good while it may put him to sleep. If that works you can start doing that every night less and less until he can fall asleep without any soothing. He will fall asleep on his own eventually. Good luck.

Answer 6

You need to cuddle him until he gets drowsy, then lay him down on his tummy. DO NOT LEAVE HIM ALONE. After you lay him down, place your hand on his back and gently rock him. Experiment and see how he prefers to be rocked, whether up and down or side 2 side etc. Once he falls off to sleep, slowly stop the rocking. (ITS OKAY TO LEAVE HIM AT THIS POINT)

If he awakes and cries, do not pick him up, just repeat the rocking motion while you verbally reassure him that you are there for him. Repeat this as often as necessary until he goes down for the night.

A Few Tips: Make sure he's warm enough (your body is a warm place for him, maybe that's why he prefers u to hold him)

Try to be there for him as soon as he awakes (He could be a bit insecure, once he knows u will be there for his needs even if he goes off to sleep, he'll be more comfortable letting you out of sight)

Try leaving the light on/try taking the light off (whichever applies)

It is IMPORTANT for you to establish a good bedtime routine, as stick to it. This would be his indication that is it approaching sleep time. (you can try a warm bath and then read a story while cuddling/or give him a massage)

It should take your baby about 4 - 7 days to get used to all this. I started earlier with my son, he's 12 weeks old. I give him a bath around 8:30 p.m. (8 if he gets cranky) then i massage him with lotion, feed him and cuddle him before i lay him down. At first he wouldn't sleep until 10:30, but now he goes off around 9 p.m.

Answer 7

Yes, let him cry it out. That sounds so cold, but it's the only way. Establish a set bedtime routine - dinner, bath and bed (or whatever works for you). When it's time for bed, hold him and rock him for a few minutes, then lay him down. He's going to cry, but just let it happen. It won't last forever. Good luck!!

Answer 8

It will be a hard few nights, but let him cry it out. It will be harder to get him to bed the older he gets. The first night will be awful but normally after 3 it is much better, if you don't cave. Good luck. Watch one of those Nanny shows and see why a good bedtime is so important.

Answer 9

Yes you should just let him cry. You are the one who has trained him to go asleep in your arms, now you are the one who needs to untrain him to go asleep on his own. It will be hard because he will cry and scream for your attention but don't give in. It will probably take several days but if you just ignore him, he will eventually lay down and cry himself to sleep and he will be ok.
I had to do this with my firstborn and it was harder on me than it was on him, but it does work.
Good Luck. Don't give in.

Answer 10

what i did to prevent the cradle to sleep thing was i put my son in the bed belly down and pat his butt til he sleeps. rubbing the head soothes him too. it's the comfort level they have. as long as they know you're there, they feel safe. once he's asleep, you can flip him over to his back if you like. now my son won't sleep when you cradle him.