You ask your friend time and time again where is our relationship going, and after a year with never having a commitment or a title or the knowledge of you being the only one you decide to be honest and say to him since we never said that we were ever officially together nor have we ever said we were exclusive even though that's where I want to be. I started seeing another guy (not serious just company), but I am tired of the friend with benefits scene so do you want to do this or should we go our separate ways. Now I am being told that since I mentioned another guy he maybe upset, and say the hell with it. My question is since never having a commitment or a title or the knowledge of you being the only one why does it matter if I was with someone if he could never tell me where we were going or if we were even going to go any where at all, and it’s been about a year. I don't see why he would be upset. If he would just commit this would not be an issue.
2007-02-08 03:36:37 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he hasn't committed at this point, then he likely is never going to... at least, not willingly. He might do it to keep you, but that is not love. It is time to let this guy go and move on. Date other guys. Try to find someone who will give you the committment and care that you really deserve. This other guy had his chance. He blew it. Hopefully he will learn from his mistakes and find someone. In the meantime, that is not your concern. You can spend your whole life waiting for your friend to be more than a friend, but so long as he is getting what he wants (likely companionship and sex), then why should he "ruin" it with committment? That is not to condone him. I think he is wrong. But that is what people like that are thinking. You can do better. I wish you the best of luck!
2007-02-08 03:42:24 · answer #1 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I wouldn't really worry about the upset guy. If he can't make a commitment to you within a years time, you shouldn't be with him anyway. As long as you allow your friends to also have benefits, that will be all you are going to get. You need to have more respect for yourself. Guys don't respect a female who gives it up easily. They just simply use you and move on. Perhaps you could think about that the next time you find someone you are really interested in. By the way, most woman who have male friends still have them because they never crossed the line. Thank you and good luck.
2007-02-08 11:50:17 · answer #2 · answered by cookie 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know this. Really, if he hasn't on his part done things like assuring you exclusivity after a year, he may not take you so seriously.
You may have made some mistakes at the beginning or middle of your relationship and she kind of took you for granted or nothing serious. He may not be necessarily a bad guy.
Talk straight to him without complaining and then move on if you're looking for a more important relationship.
Know the value of yourself.
Clara
2007-02-08 12:00:58 · answer #3 · answered by Clara 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry to say it, but even your question here is a headache to read of. It's a mess. It shows that you are a very depended on him, that you do not know the guy well and also do not know yourself. You sound like a person without any personality, without your own opinion.
You do not know how to stand by yourself. You are just sheiking things with seeing some another guy, which is simply stupid, because you have to solve the problem in this relationship first and show this guy his place.
If you express yourself like that with him, he has no real feelings for you, just some head game and usage. Exactly what he does right now.
You should build your self-confidence, make clear your mind and words so everything else will come together.
2007-02-08 11:45:57 · answer #4 · answered by Bella 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I think your assumptions are fair, there is no commitment...maybe you should have given him a heads up before you seen this other guy...but most men don't like having their cake and eating it too being spoiled....it is good that you take a stand for yourself....but maybe you just could have done it in a different order. I like the fact that you are willing to take control of your own life though....and not leave it to others to make the decisions for you. Bravo...I would just move on.
2007-02-08 11:44:38 · answer #5 · answered by ticklemeblue 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Honey, I have read several of your questions on this and answered a couple.
Your friend with benefits is exactly that. However, I think he deserves to know that you are having sex with another guy.
It would still upset him. People are territorial and they like to feel that THEY are in control.
I am convinced that your relationship with this guy is very unhealthy for you.
2007-02-08 11:43:12 · answer #6 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You told him what you wanted, he obviously didn't want, so he has no reason to carp about it now. Guys want non committal relationships and if the girl is willing to go that route these relationships will continue to get ugly. He was comfortable and you just dislodged him from his comfort zone that is why he is mad.
2007-02-08 11:53:22 · answer #7 · answered by Tapestry6 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Some peoole hate to put titles on their relationships. You need to talk to him about this and get a straight answer.
2007-02-08 11:41:14 · answer #8 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
move on! he doesn't want commitment, and you don't want a f*ckbuddy, so you better get yourself away from him and find someone who wants to be in a relationship and let him find his next buddy to play with!
2007-02-08 11:50:31 · answer #9 · answered by wantstoknow 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It goes to the story of the farmer....he thinks he should be able to spread his seed anywhere...but he wants you to keep your crop to one farmer...I know bad analogy, but basically he brought this on himself.
2007-02-08 11:41:58 · answer #10 · answered by Gonzo 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋