Giving baby for adoption?

Question

Hey I already know im NOT having an abortion. I am just wondering is it bad to give a baby for adoption. Are there any forseeable problems for the child? Like i knew ppl in schoool that were adopted they always were thinking " poor me, my parents didn't want me " . anyway i want more than anything to keep my baby but finances are an issue too. andd I am wondering if u can think of any disadvantages for the baby for adoption?

Answer 1

My husband and I are trying to adopt and have learned SOOO much these last few months! In this day and age adoption is meaning something totally different than it did years ago! With open adoption now, women can receive pictures and letters from the adoptive family that allow her to see how the child is being raised. She can also send letters and pictures back so the child can know where they came from etc. As long as the adoptive family is sharing with the child that the adoption was an act of love and not abandonment then the child probably won't feel those feelings. It is important to make the adoption something special... share with them how exciting it was to adopt them, how it exciting it was to meet the birth family, how God brought them to the birth mother to help her because she was not ready for a baby. Adoption can be beautiful. Some kids will feel those feelings regardless, but some kids who have never been adopted feel that their parents don't love them so its not only those who have been adopted. I would love to talk with ya sometime! Email me or look me up on yahooIM: stitch604 or [e-mail]

Answer 2

My sister just had a baby last year & had to give her up for adoption. Her & the bf just could not afford a baby & even though my parents insisted they could help we all know their health wouldn't have allowed it. I don't know if they're in your area but go through Christian Family Services. Make sure you get to meet with & pick the family your baby is going to. My sister & her bf did that & it was the best thing. Those people were SOOOOO ecstatic & are thankful every day. You can tell they are WONDERFUL people & that they take good care of the baby. They have money & are able to give that baby everything my sister hoped for....and more. If you get a chance to speak with the people who would be adopting the baby, see if they will be telling the child when they're old enough to understand. If so, request that they tell the child that it was NOT the fact that you didn't want them...it was just the fact that you had no money & wouldn't be able to give them the things you wanted & that you would've given anything to be able to. I know if I were adopted then that would put my mind at ease. The couple who adopted my sister's baby is planning on telling her when she's old enough to understand. We're lucky & get to see the little angel grow up from afar. It was a partially open adoption...in the terms that my sister & the couple do not communicate directly but through a case worker. (Last names are also kept confidential.) The case worker passes gifts & such back & forth for them. The couple always sent pics to my sister & they actually made a video of the child's first year of life for her. We all cried when we saw it. Do some research & check your area for Christian Family Services....you may be able to have the same situation so that you can pick the family & know your baby will be well taken care of. Good luck!

I also had a friend when I was younger who had been adopted shortly after birth. She came from South Korea & the mother just wanted to give her a better chance at life because conditions were apparently very horrible at the time there. She would've died if she stayed there. She knew the story & never felt unwanted. She knew she was loved greatly by the people who adopted her & she never thought of them as adopted parents. They were her birth parents to her & she was a very happy person.

Answer 3

I know people who were adopted, too, and, especially the ones who were adopted as older children, always had the mindset that 'Thank God there was someone who loved me enough to want to take care of me, and not just because they had to.' But you're probably thinking of teenagers, with the 'poor me' thinking, and all teens go through that phase. Some never grow out of it...

The problem that I can think of is that in the future, the child may not have a complete medical history. A way to resolve this is to have a semi-open or an open adoption, where the adoptive parents and the birth mother keep up some sort of contact, including sending pictures and updates about the child, or actually meeting with the child, or sometimes just keeping each other's contact information in case something comes up.

It's very admirable that you have chosen life over death, and it's equally admirable that you are unselfishly thinking of what's best for the baby.

If you know that you would not be able to care for a baby the way that a baby needs to be cared for, adoption is a wonderful alternative. There are many great couples, and even single parents, out there that do have the resources to care for a child, but who cannot have one on their own. Many adoption agencies actually let you meet with prospective parents, so you can choose the one that you feel would be best for your child.

Good luck in your decision!

Answer 4

i think there would be a part of you that is always going to wonder who your parents are and what they are like. i think it is a part of life though. my mom left my dad when i was under 1 year and i havent had him in my life AT ALL since then, and ive always wondered what hes like and if he thinks about me or anything.
i am very pro adoption though. there are so many loving couples out there who just are unable to have children. there are so many places that can help you pick out just the right person, and there is open adoption now too, where you can still be a part of your baby's life. i know this is going to be a hard decision for you, and whatever you decide, it will be the right thing for YOU. i dont think it is bad giving a child up for adoption. you have already made the decision that youre not having an abortion and that is commendable. look in the phone book and talk to an agency, see what your options are with adoption and if it feel right to you, great! pick out a wonderful couple that has the same morals and values as you do, and make sure you place your child with someone you feel will give them every advantage in life. im sorry i cant be more of a help, but this is ultimately your decision, and you will know what to do.

Answer 5

I think what you are considering is so courageous and you are a wonderful person to give this child a better life than what you can provide. So many people take the easy way out and just get the abortion. I tried years to have kids and was in an adoption agency not knowing that I was finally pregnant with my twins. I know what it feels like to want a baby so bad and not be able to have one. There are so many couples out there that would love your child and give it a great home. I know people who are adopted and they love their adoptive parents and it is not a issue with them. You can choose to have a open adoption if you want so it the child has any questions later you can explain the situation to him/her. Good luck and stay strong it will not be easy but if you can't take care of the baby you are doing such a wonderful thing by giving this baby to a childless couple.

Answer 6

Adoption is a very loving choice. You are giving the child a chance at life and a chance at a better life than you think you can provide. You can always consider an open adoption..I'm not sure on the exact particulars of it, but you get to have contact with the child (like pictures and a visit every so often). If you are afraid the child will feel like you didn't love it, this is a option to keep open so you have the opportunity to show the child you did.

Answer 7

yes there are always going to be questions in your mind. I had adopted out a son about 17 years ago, I had guilt and worry, I was told that i could see him whenever i wanted and did not.I've seen him 3 times since his birth. I have talked with him on and off over the lest 4 months, his younger sister talks to him weekly if not more now she is 12. I am not by any means saying that adoption is a bad thing, there are many wonderful people out there that are just waiting to give a child a good and loving home.
I am however saying that if this is what you have decided to do please be as involved as you can in the whole thing open adoption is always a good option, or there is all kinds of help out there to help you keep your child if you so wish.
Good luck to you in whatever you decide

Answer 8

I think it is wonderful that you will give your baby the gift of life. You will also be giving someone the gift of your baby. We were given that gift twice. We were unable to conceive a child so we adopted a gorgeous little angel. A couple of years later we were able to adopt her brother too. Our daughter was almost 4 years old when we adopted her and she knows she is adopted. She is 9 now and never plays the "poor me" card. If you call an adoption agency they can help you decide which kind of adoption is best for you. There are even open adoptions so that you can still be a part of your child's life if you so choose. I wish you and your little one the very best in life.

Answer 9

Hi honey i totally applaud you for keeping your baby. Wow how wonderful to be so mature and do the right thing for your baby. Have you considered an open adoption. My friend adopted a baby and has an open adoption with the birthing mom and it is just great for all of them and she used to even let the birthing mom come over and baby sit. It really works out great and the child is so adorable and just turned 15 and is as beautiful and secure as ever. This may be another option for you to check into. Good Luck to you you are a Great woman and will make a wonderful mother some day.
momof4

Answer 10

Theres a lot of help out there for mothers on low income such as food stamps,medicaid,wic for baby formula etc..they are easy to get and takes a couple weeks to get your benefits..babys arent expensive,i thought they would be when i first got pregnant but i came to realise that they arent,if u have the formula through wic all u have to worry about is diapers and clothing pretty much..Thats if u do decide to keep your baby..if u are considering adoption seriously,there are many many adopted children out there that absolutely love there adopted parents to death and have a wonderful life..i see it all the time..

The only thing really is sometimes kids will think about there birth parents but that doesnt mean they dont enjoy there lives and love there parents dearly,u would think of it from time to time too.Sometimes they also want to look for them later down the road,this isnt a bd thing either,it gives closure and brings the child closer together with the reality of everything...it is never a bad thing..sometimes kids will think of anything to get attention so when your friends talk about that,just think of what they would have been saying if there parents didnt give them up for adoption and lead a horrible life..It will be fine,adoption is a wonderful thing u can do for your baby if u cant take care of him/her..good luck!