Even though I didn't cause her marriage to break up, how come I come off worse than my husband?
2007-02-08 02:20:12 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've actually been married to him for 20 years, and she got remarried first, but she is still like a dog with a bone.
2007-02-08 06:30:54 · update #1
Girl be you and hell with she think. Look like the best woman won, if you are putting it down like you suppose to than hell with them. Second wife may be the best wife.
2007-02-08 02:25:46 · answer #1 · answered by tank1show 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because even though they wanted the divorce they can't bear the thought that another woman might have their ex husband's affections and can't bear him to love and want someone else. Especially so when their are children from the first marriage involved, 1st wives do not like their children to grow fond of the 2nd wife - it all amounts to jealousy. It is hard being a second wife (I should know!) but if you have your husband's full support and love then you can rise above it. My husband's first wife had an affair, told him she didn't want him any more, forced him out of the house so her boyfriend could move in. He lost everything and she has now married the affair boyfriend, but she still makes our life hell - especially me and I wasn't even around when it all happened! She got what she wanted, but she didn't want him to find happiness. As I say it is all to do with jealousy.
2007-02-08 11:05:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that she looks upon you as though YOU did cause her marriage to fail. You may not have even been around at the time, however you have her X and she was holding out for him but did not get him. Try distancing yourself from her and at the same time have a bit of understanding to how she is hurting. Hopefully in time she may come to like you and reconize that you were not the one she should have blamed.
2007-02-08 13:34:13 · answer #3 · answered by deep in thought 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't cause my partner and his ex wife to split up either but I got a lot of rubbish from her (still do) - it's all lies, she went round our town just making things up about me and even describing me to other people to make me seem completely different to what I am - short, fat, ugly etc. Problem was people knew me so that didn't work for her, made her just look like a psycho!
All I can say from experience is don't let it get to you, act like it doesn't bother you. It's difficult but you have done nothing wrong, and the fact with some people that their ex wants to be with someone and has found someone they love they can't bear it as a type of rejection. Good luck, hope it gets better soon for you.
You are not responsible for her issues that she has.
2007-02-08 10:28:07 · answer #4 · answered by JoJi 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe shes jelous because she sees you and your husband are happy and probaly remembers how they once were. Its seriouisly not easy being the second i got accused of stalking i was about 7 months pregnant i was at work and was apparently driving a silver car which i thought was pretty impressive of me given that a) i didnt have one and b)i couldn't even drive at the time. ive heard of a website its called seconds wife cafe or something like that. Maybe you could try talking to her and asking her why she has such a problem with you. cant say i have tried it myself but it might work.
2007-02-08 12:31:57 · answer #5 · answered by kazz06 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was hard at the bennining,. I had to learn to live with his past and accept cthings such as: I wasn't the first one, my son wasn't the first born, I didn;t have the wedding that they had, I often had to put up with remarks about what th "ex_ used to do, also, my in-laws would broughp up all sor of stories about her and their baby and that hurted my feelings a lot.
I eventually got over it, but it took everything in me to let go.
Good luck
2007-02-08 10:30:07 · answer #6 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because women are so competitive. They all want to be prettier, wealthier, sexier, smarter than the next lady. Most are insecure. Sometimes it's easier to blame the "new woman" in their ex's lives.
Just stand tall and don't let her bother you.
2007-02-08 10:26:32 · answer #7 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
some people always need some one else to blame it can never be thier own fault. and the 2nd wife is a good one to blame.even if you had nothing to do with the break up.
2007-02-08 10:26:23 · answer #8 · answered by moe 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
because some people need someone to blame ..they close their eyes on their faults and problems and of course its so much easier to have someone to excuse ourselfs...dont bother and dont pay any attention , live ur life with ur likes and let her think whatever she wants !
cheer up
2007-02-08 10:28:42 · answer #9 · answered by athina68 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
2ND wives seem to always be held accountable for the sins of the 1st wife...beats the hell out of me....but I feel your pain! Your a scape goat!
2007-02-08 10:26:02 · answer #10 · answered by Ŗεŋεε 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋