When we met, my husband was a truck driver, and I was a secure, self sufficient, Office Admin. & mother of two teenage girls. My boss at the time, was hitting on me(he's married) When I became engaged, he found a convenient reason to fire me. We've been married for less than a year and the financial worries are mounting. We've done pretty much all we can to consolidate, but we're still slightly over budget. I have tried to find a job, but live in a college town that caters first to the students and I'm 43. I have started substitute teaching for all the schools in the area, and that would bring in the needed extra income, if it were daily. So my husband is thinking seriously @ going back to driving. We're still NEWLY WEDS. I would be exstatic to make love 5 times a day, everyday. I've become very dependent on him for EVERYTHING; Emotional security, safety, companionship, love, comfort, he helps me with everything, he's good for my daughters(even though there's still a power stuggling)
2007-02-08 02:08:28 · 11 answers · asked by Angel L 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is quiet a bit stricter than I am, but the girls and I are dealing with it. He says that there are several reasons for him to go back to driving. I only see the money as being the reason for him to go, and dozens of reasons for him to stay. It wouldn't be such a horrible matter to me if he would try to get on with a local run company. But he will only consider long-haul, which will put him out for two weeks at a time. I don't know about him, but I'm afraid that my biological clock is ticking and that my libido may give out if he's not here to keep it wound up. Besides, I'm now afraid to be without him. I've never felt the kind of insecurity that I feel now, when I think of only seeing him 4 - 6 days a month. I don't want to be alone again. I know that he feels that he has no choice to be able to make more money. I've done everything I can to cut back on things. He has two time-share condos that he's unwilling to give up. Should I just let him go without a fuss?
2007-02-08 02:18:33 · update #1
It's never too late to put your hands together and pray. You have become one flesh in your marriage but, you still need to be strong for one another. If you are attending a church ask around for some help, or advice from your pastor. And remember things happen for reasons we only learn of later in life. Best wishes
Be Blessed and Rejoice in the Lord!
2007-02-08 02:15:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh no, don't let him go. You are still newly weds! You will have no idea what you can conquer together if you leave. He doesn't hit you, verbally abuse you, or put you or your daughters in danger, right? You are married to him. Get serious about it and find solutions. You're counting on him for everything b/c you're losing your "sense of self" and your confidence b/c of your fianacial situation. Is your husband working now? Let him go back to truck driving if that's what it takes to make the bills easier and relieve some stress, but divorce shouldn't be your FIRST option. It's too early to put you and your daughters through a divorce right now. Show them how the 2 of you can have the victory over the hard times, not give up when it gets tough. This will require his participation- you can't do it all yourself.
2007-02-08 10:24:25 · answer #2 · answered by CaliBlueBell 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not know how old you are but financial safety comes first. Your children need food on the table and you cannot ask your husband to forgo a descent paycheck so you can make love all day and let the kids suffer. Other than that, move out of your area to a place where you can find a job.
2007-02-08 10:13:45 · answer #3 · answered by theartisttwin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just think, though - if he goes back to driving, it'll be so much more special on days he comes home - "absence makes the heart grow fonder."
When I was a newlywed, my husband was in the army and was first sent on training in CA for a month and then to Germany. We were only together a total of four months for our first year of marriage! And when we got to see each other, those moments were extra special. You need to get a handle on your financial situation and if he goes back to work, that will help. Hang in there.
2007-02-08 10:15:43 · answer #4 · answered by §Sally§ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let him do what ever he needs to do to support his family. If you hang on tight you will not be the woman he feel in love with and you will ruin your marriage. Continue looking for a job that pays better and when you do he can get a job at home.
2007-02-08 10:15:03 · answer #5 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you have a legal case for wrongful dismissal I suggest you talk to a lawyer.
Your husband has a solution - it's not perfect, and it doesn't have to be permanent, does it?
He wants to "be your man" and take care of you. Let him.
Wouldn't you rather get less sex than be thrown out of your house for not having paid the mortgage?
Go with him on some of his road trips. It might be fun.
2007-02-08 10:20:34 · answer #6 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your hubby can find a driving job where he is home every night.
if thats not possible, arrange with a family member or friend to watch the girls a week out of each month and you go on the road with him.
2007-02-08 10:19:45 · answer #7 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, would you rather have a roof over your head or love-making? Really. You need to take care of the finances now so you can have fun and enjoy each other later.
2007-02-08 10:12:29 · answer #8 · answered by Faith 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There must be some kind of work that you can do in near by towns. If he went back to trucking you would at least have money to survive.
2007-02-08 10:19:42 · answer #9 · answered by EmmaNicole 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put yourself and your family first! How would you most benefit? Maybe you should consider moving?
2007-02-08 10:13:04 · answer #10 · answered by **Red** 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋