i am 17 and need help on how to go live with my mom ! I live with my dad in WI and mom lives in FL?

Question

I have been wanting to go live with my mom for so many years now and I have tried so many times, such as going to the school counselor which they didn't do anything but recommend me to family mediation and put me in a room and tell me to draw my feelings. If i ask my dad he gets very angry and says no and things like your mom is irresponsible , i have no future with her , she is nothing , ect. I have to live with my dads wife whom i hate so much and i feel like im treated bad here ? They hide food from me , always yell at me which sounds typical for a teen but seriously i feel they do it to much and when its unnessecary. My dads wife spoils everyone in the house and leaves me out all the time such as buying ice cream, snacks, soda, even milk n juice for her , my five year old step brother (her biological) and dad. not me, also my dad wont let me visit my mom, and i havnt seen her or my younger brother and sister for 3 years :( . Theres much more but cant fit it,
What do i have to do ?

i turn 18 in 11 months, and i am still in high school, my mom does not have that much money right now , and my dad has tons , i have lived in both situations now , i lived with my mom up until i was 12 and then when i moved with my dad i realized how much i didnt like it and now it seems as tho im stuck with this decision i made 5 years ago , and my mom doesnt want my dad to pay child support she said she just wants me to be with her again , but if i talk to my dad he will not listen to me , ive tried many times before , just trust me on this one. He is so stubborn and as he calls himself "cut and dry" type of person . he is an engineer and i can see why he would be this way.

Answer 1

I'm sorry for your situation. You're almost 18 - can you hang in there until then? Once you turn 18, you can do what you want. I'm afraid if the legal custody arrangement states you must live with your father, you must live with him. Will he at least let you visit your mom?

I feel for you - just hang in there. You'll be 18 sooner than you think.

Answer 2

I believe I hear what you are saying, you miss these people.

Do you hear what your dad is saying, that he doesn't believe mom to be a good influence?

First off, is it true?

Second, in a year, give or take, you can make your own decisions.

But you want this right now, right? So what you have to do is validate your dad's concerns. You may or may not agree with them, but if you want your dad to hear you, you have to demonstrate that you hear him.

So when he says your mom is irresponsible, draw him out. Ask him what makes mom irresponsible, and REALLY listen.

But you also have to reassure him that you are not her and are not going to become her (especially if she really is irresponsible) Being able say and really mean things like, I can see how you view that as irresponsible. I don't think I would do things like she does, and other phrases that indicate that you understand his message.

But you gotta mean it too.

Once you at least understand what he sees and what he fears, you can demonstrate that while he has fears, you are not going to make those fears a reality.

I don't know your mom, so I'm going to pick something out of the air. It may or may not be one of her issues. Let's say mom is not good with money. She spends and spends and spends, more than she makes, no savings, no retirement, credit cards maxxed out. Dad is a saver, saves 20% of what he makes, pays his credit cards in full, no interest paid, etc.

So if this were the case, you can say, Dad, I can see why you think mom is irresponsible. Paying 21% interest plus is whacked. I appreciate that you are a good example financially.

Once you've earned his trust, then you are in a much better position to bargain for holiday visits, or other things.

I would share with him about how you feel about your steps mom and step/half siblings. Share with him in this form.

When step-mom gives snacks to the other kids and leaves me out, I feel ___________, I think ___________, and I would like you to ___________.

I hope that your dad is acting to protect you, and not out of resentment for your mom.

But regardless, soon you will be 18, and can decide for yourself where you will live, and how you will get there.

Answer 3

Tell ur mom to fight for custody of u , at 17 u should have a say with the judge where u want to be, but ultimately u have to know its up to the judge to decide untill ur 18 which is only one more year, and if u can put up with it for one more year, once ur 18 no one can stop u from going to live with ur mom..

Answer 4

tell your Dad. He can bypass to court docket to have this replaced. If he does not try this, then it potential that he rather does not choose you residing with him. There are some circumstances the place this alteration can not take place. working example, whilst my husband's young infants have been nevertheless minors, they does no longer have been allowed to stay with their mom under any circumstances because of the fact she replaced into too volatile and unpredictable. as quickly as she lost custody, she thoroughly drifted out of their lives (apparently, she merely seen them pawns).

Answer 5

try a court house for suggestions. you being 17 entitles that if you take a parent to court you have a right to chose who you want to live with or get imasipated....how long before your 18, can you put up with it that much longer if you can't ask a court house for some help...they might be able to assist you in the right direction.

Answer 6

When do you turn 18 ? Because, the day that you do it's time to leave and NOBODY can say a word. Why does your Dad have custody of you ? Have you graduated from H.S. yet ?