I'm a 42 year old gay man currently in a relationship and want to get married soon, but my son doesn't know yet. He knows my partner and get on well together.
2007-02-08 01:57:38 · 18 answers · asked by stephanvz 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Tell him as soon as possible, if you want my honest opinion. It only gets harder the longer you put it off, and if you wait too long, someone might get to your son and convince him that homosexuality is wrong.
Explain to him that God makes different people for different reasons, and that everyone has a purpose. Also, you should remind him that a family is a group of people that loves each other and stands by one another no matter what they face in the world, and that your family will happen to include two daddies.
2007-02-08 02:01:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that you can be influenced to be gay because it's not really popular to be gay. If anything, there's a stigma and negativity with being gay. Also, there's nothing gay about musicals or Justin Bieber (he's gross but he's straight). I think maybe he just doesn't fully understand the word. Perhaps you should explain it to him (not that gay people have gay sex and dive into the topic of gay sex or anything) that being gay means you have feelings for someone of the same gender and you want to hug and kiss them all the time and hold hands etc (basic stuff). Ask him what makes him think he's gay or why he feels that way. This way you can delve into whether or not it's influences from somewhere or his understanding of the word etc. Also, no offense but why would you let your 8 year old son watch Glee? It's not an appropriate show for children.
2016-05-24 06:30:38 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have to talk with him man to man about how there are many kinds of families in the world and explain about your relationship and your home. Tell him that your partner is still the same wonderful person and nothing has really changed. Not all families are all about having male and female parents. If you have been teaching your child about loving people of all kinds, then he will be willing and able to not have a problem with it. I thik it's a bad idea to avoid it out of fear that he'll be bullied at school. Kids are often mean about all sorts of things, and even heterosexuals raise kids who get bullied for things. It is common and unavoidable. Better to raise him to be loving of gay people as well as straight people so he'll have no problem accepting your news.
2007-02-08 02:26:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that what else you can do besides the great advice that has already been provided here is join PFLAG or, failing that, a group that allows GLBT families to meet together. I'm saying this because when you tell him, he may feel that he may be the only kid in school that had two dads and may feel lonely. This way, he can meet other kids that are just like him and feel less isolated.
Plus I totally agree with asking him to be your best man. Another thing that happened at my cousin's wedding was that her new stepson was asked in the ceremony wheter he would accept her as his dad's wife and his stepmom. It was quite touching to watch.
2007-02-08 06:20:11 · answer #4 · answered by Megosophy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i mean, this is something you will have to be very careful about. Kids are notoriously quite cruel and at school he could be made fun of without end. Other kids could say stuff like "Ha Ha you have two daddies" or something equally shi.tty.
Honestly, I'd wait it out and give him some time. He may be confused and not know what to think. Also, (i'm not bashing your lifestyle), but by seeing the good relationship that you and your partner have, he may be led to believe that male-male relationships are the ONLY way to go. I am not saying that he can't find happiness in a gay relationship. At least give him the opportunity to make an objective choice.
Take care of yourself and your son, chap!
2007-02-08 02:04:29 · answer #5 · answered by David C 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
My dad was gay and he sat my brother and I down and told us. He said you know "John" who lives here with me? I love him. He is my boyfriend. I mean it's kinda hard to understand as a child. I think I was 10 and my brother was 8, but he wanted us to hear it from him and not anyone else. I remember being mad for a little bit, but then I asked some questions and it was okay. Hopefully, your son is young enough not to have too many negative opinions of what being gay means, and if he does, you are going to have to show him that it is in no way affect your love for him.
2007-02-08 03:13:56 · answer #6 · answered by mfupipoet 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well the best time to tell him is before you get married. And how well, you need to talk to him with your partner and ask him if he knows what gay is and if he does tell him that you are, If he doesn't know what gay is then tell him what it is then tell him that you and your partner is gay.
I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT WEDDING
^____________________________^
2007-02-08 08:50:37 · answer #7 · answered by shadowdemon 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My partner has 4 kids and when we met the youngest was 9 and he told them all and none of them had a problem with it. Good Luck!
2007-02-08 02:54:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
The sooner the better seems to be the general consensus from what I've read over the years. Just make sure you make the explanation fit his age.
2007-02-08 07:17:14 · answer #9 · answered by carora13 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When? the soner the better.
How? "[Sons Name], Daddy is going to get married to Uncle [Partner's Name]."
Be as matter of fact about it as you can. If you're awkward about it - so will he be. Yes, he may have some questions and you're duty bound to answer them honestly and as fully as you think his age will allow.
2007-02-08 02:04:27 · answer #10 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋