Another question about marriage?

Question

I asked a question yesterday and I received some interesting responses. I will add a little more detail. I was with my Ex for 4 years and I honestly thought that he was "the one". I was so happy, I mean the happiest I had ever been. We ended up breaking up because I said that I was ready for marriage and he said that he wasn't at that time. If it were up to me, I would not have broken up because I still loved him and I felt we could have worked things out. Well, about a month after we broke up I met someone new. I was not out looking for anyone, he just showed up "out of the blue". We started talking and things were wonderful. I felt like I was falling in love. I ended up marrying this guy. I guess he was a rebound, I dunno. My Ex and I are still very close friends and see each other about 2-3 times per week. Things are not working in my marriage. My hubby is overly emotional, he does not support me like a husband should. I think about divorce a lot, but what grounds do I have for that

Answer 1

You need to stop seeing your ex. Your husband probably has serious security issues - and rightfully so. I would too if you hung around all the time with a man you said you loved and wanted to marry! His presence causes you to dedicate your energy and thoughts to another - this is an emotional affair already.

You must be very young. "Things are not working" is not a good reason for divorce. If it was, nobody would be married. There are always ways to work things out.

I guarantee you if you leave your husband for this guy, it won't work out.

Answer 2

I think you should go back to your ex you obviuosly have a need to be screwed over and he is the guy that will do that for you, your current man probably never thinks about cheating on you as I am sure that you are the model wife ( I know I LOVE it when my wife hangs out with her ex boyfriend I oftentimes send them to Vegas together for the weekend because they are such good friends ) the best part of the whole deal is you get to keep hubby #1's stuff and maybe even some alimony as well so his life will be ****** up too wow !!!! you have it all
I bet ex dumbass dosent have as good of a job as current guy and I bet the reason your hubby now isnt there is that he works about 80 hours a week. Why don't you run off ex boyfriend and start being the wife you should be and quit trying to find some reason to divorce this guy because you want to go whoring around ????
Guy #1 didnt just show up it dosent work that way he knows that he can use your *** and you are going to let him and you deserve it! you were with this guy 4 years and he didn't want to marry you what kind of **** is that and now you are going to throw your marriage away because he comes back
OOPS I am sorry I just realized that this is one of those trick questions because nobody could really be this ******* stupid my bad !!!
Death To Infidels !!!
LA LA LA LA LA LA LA

Answer 3

First, are you sure you support your husband the way a wife should? Stop seeing the Ex and give your marriage a chance.

As far as grounds for divorce, it depends on where you live. If you are in a "no fault" divorce state, you don't need any grounds beyond irreconcilable differences. Otherwise, keep seeing the Ex and your husband will have not only good grounds for a divorce but a nice law suit against your Ex for alienation of affection.

Answer 4

I don't know legally what grounds you have so I'm not going to speculate. I agree with some of the people that you might not be putting your best effort into your marriage. Friendship with exes is okay as long as it doesn't interfere with your current relationship. Since you did see something special in your husband I would try marriage counseling and see whether you can resolve your issues before seriously considering divorce. Life isn't perfect but you have to be happy. Be honest with yourself and your husband. Resolve the issues between you one way or the other (either for a stronger marriage or divorce that is yet to be seen). Take care and good luck.

Answer 5

Morally, ZERO GROUNDS.. legally? u can divorce him if he sneezes wrong..

I think u never gave ur husband a chance..because u always had this X to be your security blanket.. and so instead of getting rid of the past so u could have a future, i think u found out what most people find out.. that marriage isnt a fairy tale, but instead of handling it like a grown up, u'd rather chalk it up so u can go be with the guy that didnt want u in the first place.. So basically this is whats going to happen ur going to divorce ur husband who u really have seriously lame excuses for divorcing.. then ur going to try and do it again with the x.. and when u either find urself in the same spot of being in a relationship that has no real future, or he just chews u up and spits u out cause well any self respecting man wouldnt be vying for a married womans attention and making her tempted to leave the marriage for him so he already shows lack of morals by doing that.. but then again so do u .. but eventually u'll wake up and he'll be gone to, and once u hit rock bottom, either with this guy , or possibly a guy that treats u seriously bad.. ur going to find urself waking up one day wishing that u had ur husband again cause over all he was a good guy, wasnt perfect but he was a good guy.. and u'll wish u hadnt been so stupid..

Answer 6

Your ex- is just standing on the other side of the fence in what looks like a greener pasture... Maybe the grass would be better over there. But, if you are seeing your ex- 2-3 times a week and he is mowing the grass with you then your current husband will have reason to divorce you.

Answer 7

Your marriage is probably not working because you still see your ex on a regular basis. You have no right to do this and your husband should not be expected to support this. How would you like it if the tables were turned? You do need to get a divorce, if you loved your husband you would not treat him this way and you should cut him loose so he can find someone who really loves him.

Answer 8

You got to make it work with your husband. I broke up with my ex of 3 years too, and I can honestly say, as much as I wish I didn't, I love him and will always love him. My fiance and I are scheduled to be married soon and unfortunately he doesn't match up to my ex, but he loves me and he takes good care of me.

The first thing my friend, that you MUST do, is stop measuring them both and comparing them. This is the reason you find your husband lacking some of the qualities. Another is, you must communicate with your husband about what you need and require from him. If he cares to make your marriage work, he will put in some effort. That itself speaks volumes, and you must stick with your husband.

Another thing... maybe you should stop seeing your ex for a while. You can never really be friends with your ex, and meeting him more often is diverting your focus onto the negative meaning the things your husband lacks.
It's hard to hear, but you gotta stop. You know it deep inside...

Good luck my friend. God be with you and guide you to make the right decisions.

Answer 9

Rebound relationships are tough. It seems like we are attracted to what we think is different in the new person that is better than what we had in the old relationship. Most of the time, we are wrong. Do the best you can to make this work before you give up. I'm not sure that you can really give it all of your effort with the old lover around. Be honest, what do you think?

Answer 10

Your ex BF is the reason your marriage is failing. If you put as much effort into your marriage as you do into your friendship, you wouldn't be talkign divorce. Why don't you try severing all ties with the homewrecker for 1 year and see if things don't improve with your husband.