I recently changed my career...well in October.. & I have 3 children. In the initial interview, i didnt find it necessary to mention that I have children. I dont think this has anything to do with my qualifing skills, professionalism, or my ability to get a job done. Well, after a few months of working here, i became rather close with the owner. She immediatly referred to me as a "daughter" to her, and time again just assumed that I did not have children, NOR did she even ask me directly. When she is in the office, she is basically running around busy, and directing me to do the same, i did not find it appropriate to just come out and say "Hey, by the way I have kids"...I wanted to tell her in a more intimate setting. Well, after ANOTHER comment about children, i believe it was "WHEN you have your own kids, you'll know the value of a dollar".At that point I said "I DO have kids", she got upset. Was she upset because I burst her little bubble? Or was I wrong for not saying something?
2007-02-08 01:39:04 · 8 answers · asked by Samantha D 1 in Business & Finance ➔ Careers & Employment
You had absolutely no obligation to say anything to your employer about having kids -- and if you had been asked during an interview whether you have kids, that question would have been inappropriate and is among the lists of questions that a prospective employer should not ask during an interview. (A prospective employer cannot discriminate on the basis of whether a prospective employee has or plans to have children, and asking the question "do you have/do you plan to have children" potentially exposes the prospective employer to discrimination charges.)
Now, she may have been upset because she views you as more than an employee, and so found it surprising and perhaps disappointing that you hadn't ever mentioned your family to her. I don't know her so of course I really can't say why she got upset. Although the theory that someone else posited about her wanting to be a mentor sounds very plausible -- if she viewed you more as a "daughter" (so she said/thought) and planned on mentoring you, that you're a mother would change your status in her eyes from a young bright eyed "daughter" figure who would benefit from her guidance....to a responsible adult who doesn't need her guidance in the first place.
Either way, rest assured, you were not wrong for not saying anything. It's none of her business.
2007-02-08 01:46:33 · answer #1 · answered by ljb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people prefer to separate their personal life from their professional life. When I found out I was pregnant, I did not find the need to tell the office and my boss right away. When I did plan on telling my boss, I wanted it done in a professional manner, but I suppose he was more interested in congratulating me. It depends on your work setting really. If you feel your boss is still upset by your omission, then you can calmly talk to her about it. I'm sure she's not angry, nor does she think you're wrong for not mentioning it. In fact, she might be glad that you focus more on your job than letting your personal life interfere. If you're a good worker and an asset to the place, why worry?
2007-02-08 01:43:52 · answer #2 · answered by keonli 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok. As I skimmed over questions and consider this, the 1st situation that got here to concepts is "you do no longer." that is insulting lots of individuals, and because he's your boss, you are able to desire to finally end up dropping your interest because of the fact of a remark. i replaced into an exceptionally enormous baby. i think of whilst i replaced into 10 i weighed like one hundred twenty five, it replaced into no longer worry-free for me to do something, i replaced into so self unsleeping and withdrawn. communicate with him and get to be attentive to him extra effective and merely be a chum to the little guy it is going to in all probability help his esteem. (From a 13 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous)
2016-11-02 21:25:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There was no reason to mention it if you were not asked . It was good you mentioned it after her comments. It is odd that she would get upset at you for this . She maybe assumed you did not if she knows you are not married ( you did not mention your husband and I assume you are young if she referred to you as a daughter ).
2007-02-08 01:48:00 · answer #4 · answered by Foss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She shouldn't be upset. You've been doing your job. She never asked anyways. Maybe you should have put a picture on your desk to clue her in earlier, but really its none of her business.
2007-02-08 01:43:21 · answer #5 · answered by kittymimm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
who knows why she was upset, who cares.
IT was and IS none of her business.
Some people feel the need to 'mentor' other people....whether the other person wants to be 'mothered' or not.
I probably would have put a picture of my kids on the desk or something....but who knows....she sounds self absorbed anyway so she might not have noticed that either.
YOU DID NOTHING WRONG HERE!
and her 'when you have kids comment' was condesending.
Serves the **** right to have egg on her face!
2007-02-08 01:46:28 · answer #6 · answered by lisa s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it was ur tone. If you said it nicely, she had no reason to get upset, unless she inferred about it earlier (maybe you missed the cue) and you denied having them or didn't give her a straight forward answer.
2007-02-08 01:43:55 · answer #7 · answered by Mujer Bonita 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you weren't wrong. it's none of her business that you have children, but now that she knows, big deal. it's not affecting your job, she just needs to deal with it.
2007-02-08 01:42:35 · answer #8 · answered by Coolltw2003 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋