What is wrong with my girlfriend?

Question

Been going out with a girl for 8 months now. I work so hard during the week, that I love my weekends. Don't get me wrong I like spending time with her, but it's never what I like to do. I like to do fun spontaneous things. But she wont have any of it. Here are examples:-
- She refused to go to the fun fair on a date, because she thought it costs too much.
- She refused to go carting with me and my friends because she would be the only girl.
- I wanted to take her on a romantic weekend away for Valentines, now she says it's too far to drive and she would be tired after.
I am 30, she is 25. All she ever wants to do is go to dinner(where I pay),sleep or lay around the house.
Here's what I like to do at the weekend:- Walking, Going out with my friends, fishing and doing things on the spur of the moment. But my girlfriend will not walk anywhere, i'm selfish if I ask her to go fishing, will sit complaining if I take her out with my friends and complains that things are too far away if

I ask her to go somewhere different with me. Am I being selfish. It's not easy being with someone that complains all the time. It's really draining.

Answer 1

Sounds like you and your girlfriend are not compatable. You need to find someone who likes the same things you do. She has informed you of what she likes so why are you trying to change her? You need to face up to the fact that you and she just don't have much in common. Find someone else who wants to share those things with you. Thank you and good luck.

Answer 2

Look at the things she complans about. Is it just about the activities you choose, or complains ALL the time? A couple doesn't have to do things together all the time, and you can have seperate activites, while enjoying each other's company during the work week. If she is a constant complainer (during the week also) you two will never be compatible. When two people enjoy each other's company, they will compromise and do stuff the other wants to do, even if it isn't interesting to them.

Answer 3

I know exactly how you feel my girlfriend Now X thankfully was exactly like you described. She was very selfish and would always make things up , and have to be the center of attention and get mad if I wanted to spend time with my mates or even suggest going out to the movies etc. It took me along time (3yrs) to finally realise i need to find someone more compatible. Maybe you should to. Ask yourself , are you really happy? Im 30 as well.

Answer 4

I have been married for 10 years. One of the things I have learned is that ANY relationship is about compromise, sounds to me like she is the selfish one. I would tell her how you feel, when you are both calm, not in the heat of the moment. If she loves you she will try and do better. After all one should always want to do what is best for the both of you not just themselves all of the time.

Answer 5

Tell her you can't and won't live this way, she is too young to be such a drag. Life is too short you should be w/ someone who enjoys life just as much as you despite if you're constantly doing what she wants all of the time. Do you think she may be pregnant? That would make her want to lay around the house and complain:)

Answer 6

don't you think she is the one being selfish? You want to have quality time with her but she is kinda borring or "introvert" person. Eight months isn't long enough in a relationship. it's good you knew her better this time though. If she loved you she would be happy to do things with you no matter she would enjoy it or not it's ok if she didn't like all of your hobbies because we aren't all the same but our gf is so strange. Where did she grow up? You two are not compatible. Tell her to adjust and don't stick with her monotonous lifestyle...

Answer 7

May be both you have different hobbies and expectations from each other.i.e. your thinking patterns do not match.
If you both love each other deep enough, it will be easy to adjust and compromise to each others demands. one week end you both can do something you want and other weekend do something she wants.
When 2 people REALLY love each other, they try to take interest in each others hobbies HAPPILY. If there are too many complains, may be you both should be just friends and do not try to be best friends or some thing more serious.
You will find some one with similar interests as you or some one for whom you will happily sacrifice all your interests and vice verse.

Answer 8

this girl i wanna slap does she realize how fortunate she is to have a man who wants to do things like that she sounds very lazy and shes living her young life as though she was in a nursing home i am 25 w/4 kids i don't have much of a social life but if i were her i be living it up sorry to say but she needs to go find a women with the same passion in life i don't know any normal women who would complain if there boyfriend tried to take them out of town for a romantic getaway

Answer 9

ok well if the realtionship is going to work out she has to do things you want to do as wel you have to talk to her let her know that sometimes it seems like shes selfish and it feels like you only do what she wants. yes its a little blunt but thats how i used to be and when i heard my b/f telling me all that i tryied new things and you know what i actually like going out and stuff try taking her to a comedy show or something. pretty much she needs to commit to the realtionship and give up her lazyness either that or dont tell her till the day before so she doesn't have time to think about it (the more she thinks about it the lazier she will get)

Answer 10

She sounds totally high maintenance. And someone else was right, I don't think you're compatible at all. Think of things in the long term - do you want things to be like this in two, five, ten years time? You might love her but love isn't always enough! I think you need to move on - neither of you are going to change.