I just noticed something out of curiosity and was wondering about my husbands motives???

Question

I was on the comupter last night, and I saw that my husband went to a divorce discustion site. I got a little curious and started looking through the history and noticed that for the past couple of days that he was going to similar sites and reading up on infidelity. I need some opinions on his motives...Is it that he thinks I'm cheating, or is it that he feels guilty about something?

I did question him about it, but he said that he was just curious because he thought that I had been acting weirdly the past couple of day...I'm not so sure i believe him though...still not sure what I think though.

I'm not cheating on him and I've try to reasure him all the time because he's never had a girlfriend that hadn't cheated on him before.

For those that think I'm spying on my husband, quit being so dense...I was on here checking my emails and I noticed when I went under the address bar the site divorcesource, so I was obviously curious.

Answer 1

Or maybe he thinks you are cheating.

I would watch his behavior, but also make sure that you are not sending any signals that he may interpret or mis-interpret as YOUR infidelity.

It's also possible that a family member or friend is going through this sort of thing.

I wouldn't jump to conclusions, but I would get more facts and use less speculation.

Answer 2

wow, before i read ur added details i was thinking it could be nothing, maybe searching for info for a friend or something..

But the fact that he tried to use "you" as the excuse , has changed all that.. Now if he's always been extremely insecure and always constantly thinking ur cheating ect.. then theres a low percentage that he was actually looking at it for that reason..

But if this is something new and out of the blew for him to even consider that u may be cheating he's doing it for other motives.. either he's and he's wanting to know the legal reprocussions of his actions if u find out, or he's considering cheating and wanting to know the legal reprocussions, or he's getting ready to leave u for someone else.. and wanting to know what to expect legally..

Dont be stupid.. start going through everything when he's not around.. MOST men are dumber then dirt if they are cheating and their will be evidence .. i found out my x husband was cheating by simply sweeping the kitchen floor and something in the pit of my stomach told me to hit the redial button on the phone ( i had worked the night before) sure enough it was a woman's answering machine.. and his excuse was.. that my son who had just turned 3 was playing with the phone and must of gotten a "LOCAL" number while pressing buttons.. needless to say a week later he left for the woman that was on the phone.. she was a co-worker of his and they were having an affair..
Up to that point i had no reason to even think he was cheating always home on time from work, he went out occassionally to play golf with a friend (that was when he was actually going to see her but he had his friend call the house to make it look ligit) .. I had blinders on, and my world came to a crushing halt as i knew it.. so dont be stupid, or blind start looking around for proof, if he is the one cheating u'll find it..

And for those that are saying ur spying.. Dont sweat it.. There should never be secrets between husband and wife, ever, and thats what causes all the doubt in the first place, whats his is urs , whats urs is his. and u have every right just like he has every right to .. so dont listen to them..

Answer 3

You just named the two thoughts that went through my head. But, dont assume it is about either of you, it could also be something related to a friend or family member. If I was you, and if you are not cheating i would bring it up to him. Make sure that you say that you came upon the site by accident and that you were not checking on where he has been online. Good luck and feel free to e-mail with any further questions.

Answer 4

It seems like neither of you totally trusts the other. Why is that? You've got some trust issues to work through. You need to really talk through this. Is there a past history of something that causes both of you to be suspicious of each other?

Otherwise, when a person is checking out those sites, it usually means he's thinking about it in some form, whether it's only mildly interested or seriously pursuing it.

Answer 5

hello friend, well no one is accusing of spying on your husband. u happened to find the site of the address and u naturally folowed it, becuase it is a strange site for ur husband to visit. i know that u r puzzled by the whole thing. have u asked urself what was it that made ur husband remark that u have been action weird for days?dont jump to conclusions. so far he has not openly suggested that u have been cheating on him. why dont u wait for sometime? have aserious discussion with him. tell him that u hadnt noticed ur behaviour to be weird. explain it to him if u have any explanantion to offer for ur behaviour. at the same time be firm and tell him that his visiting divorce site has hurt you, as u have never cheated on him. ask him whether he thinks u have cheated on him or is it that he has something to hide, which he cannot bring himself up to reveal to u. try to make him understand that honest and sincerity are the imp things needed in this issue. a simple lie can blow a trivial mattetr out of proportion. i know it might be hard on you. but u should not allow uselves to be carried away by ur emotions. remail cool and sometimes that will help u find the way out. along with this, i would also suggest what a friend has already said. if u r not still convinced with what he says, u should wait for a few days. try to find out wht he is upto on internet. nowthat u have found him out, chances of his visiting such sites using the home computer are nil. still, why dont u wiat and watch? all the while, plz dont give any impression that u r dying to find out what he is upto. try to act in a normal manner, as u would behave on an ordinary day. sometimes, it might be nothing at all. he might have been just curious.or it might be just a friend or a colleague who is thinking of a divorce. let us hope for the best. meanwhile, stay cool. all my best wishes are with you.

Answer 6

I think he is up to something.If you are not cheating than you dont have to worry about anything,I dont know what kind of relationship you have with him,but you need to have a serious talk with him about what you found.What does your gut instinct tell you? Has he been doing anything lately different that would give you an idea if he is cheating?How is he emotionally with you?Is he still there? Or has he gotten more distant?Noone looks under divorce andf cheating unless they have something up their sleeve.I hope he doesnt tell you he was checking for a friend?

Answer 7

Ok if he's never had a girlfriend that didn't cheat on him he deffinately wants to cover his bases just in case you do the same. That's probably the reason he's doing his homework on the issue, but if you say your not cheating and well I don't if he is cheating or not but if your sure your not and he's not you have nothing to worry about. I would suggest though to try and do something special for him just to reassure to him that you are only his and no one elses.

Answer 8

Generally men who have been cheated on in the past do not resort to this type of low life behavior. However, it is often on their mind that their girlfriend, significant other or even their spouse may be cheating on them or wanting to.

Another thought that comes to mind is that he may just be bored out of his mind or thinking about just gettting a divorce and perhaps wanted to learn the possible repercussions of a divorce if he were to seek one at this point in his life.

There are many possibilities in this case. I highly doubt he's cheating but i'm sure he's thinking everyday that you have been doing it or thinking about doing it.

He may have a device that is tracking keystrokes, emails, Instant messages etc. on your home computer. If you have engaged in any computer activity and he has this device he will know everything that is taking place word for word on the computer.

I have one of these devices, and i've busted my Girl friend, her daughter and i know everything that is going on pertaining to communications between them and others.

I never had a clue that they were just using me until such time as i was no longer needed. But i know now and i'm making preparations for getting underway and getting the he ll out of this situation at the earliest possible date.

Answer 9

It might be that he's hiding something from you, especially since you've given him no reason to think that you've strayed in any way. Usually if your partner starts accusing you of something its because they feel guilty about something they've done.
You did mention that he has been cheated on in the past by others, so although he loves you ...he may have issues with trust.
just reassure him.
BUT I see NOTHING WRONG with keeping tabs on his online activity, its your marriage at stake and your just protecting it and yourself.
Best of luck to you.

Answer 10

I would keep an eye on your husband for other signs that he is cheating. A lot of times when a husband is being unfaithful, he will accuse his wife of being unfaithful to take the attention off what he's really doing.