This girl has gotten him to lie to his parents, cus, and just outright rebel AFTER going out for 1 month. This boy is just on the dark side! He use to be fun. Please advise.
2007-02-08 01:19:43 · 9 answers · asked by celest c 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
When it comes to teenage love its a tough battlefield! Love at his age is what his life revolves around so I would say the approach should be subtle and direct. She should have a "meeting" with him and the girlfriend and ask why things are spiralling out of control.She should set time limits and contact limits because I guess his grades are showing the change too and thats usually a good excuse as apposed to "bad girlfriend". Give it a 3 week trial and if that doesnt work she should punish him like grounding etc.
2007-02-08 01:30:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) Why is your friend letting her fourteen year old "date"? It's not like they can drive each other anywhere or do anything without involving their parents.
2) Teenagers rebel no matter who they hang around, it's part of growing up and defining their sense of self. Don't blame some girl for what nature does anyway.
2007-02-08 01:25:32 · answer #2 · answered by medellia1984 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Kiddo!
I know it can be extremely difficult dealing with young adulecence, especially at the age of 14.
Firstly just to put you at ease, I studied psychology for a No. of years, and this is a classic common feature of young maturing males, searching for their own individuality. It of course is made worse by negative influences particularly of the opposite sex.
Firstly, establish, (very tip toe) as to what exactly relationship he has with her.
Secondly, males around this age, start to produce a great deal of testosterone a cereral neuro chemical which will impact upon this young man both physically and emotionally. So I would try to use a little reverse psychology and give him a liittle independance so that he feels that you are investing trust in him an valuing his opinion. This is most important, becauase once you re-establish this rapport, you will find that he may start to come around and listen to reason.
From what you are tellining me, it sounds that this only recetly occurred, in which case you have time on your side to gently let him know that his ideas, thoughts and values are taken seriously by the parent / gardian. Remember! Whatever you do, try not to place to many DONTS & CANTS or restrict him because you think he is too young to make up his mind for himself. The best advise on the information supplied so far is to try and rekindle that spirit of son relationship you once shared by letting him know you are there for him by listening to what he has to say.
As for his current negative influence by way of this female, I am sure it will pass. Just be patient, build up a rapport, let him know that his thoughts do count and try to find ways of validating him on a regular basis. Start of small by giving him certain responsibilities that you might not usually, indicating to him that you do trust his judgement, this will build a mutual underlying respect between son and / gardian.. If he suceeds, then progress on to the next level which will further cement your relationship.
Before long, he will be looking at himself in a new posative way, one which has earnt him self esteem and confidence, then he is more likely to ask your opinion on similar topics in the future because you will be constantly building a rapport.
A word of advice though. Although still young, ig you use punative measures to try and keep him away from this girl, there could be a strong probability of him disregarding your authority over him, as he is at this stage of early juvinille development and peer pressure can play a part as well. So if you dont want to lose your relationship, show him that you trust his decision making abilities. You can use phrases like, eg: James, you know I'm not really happy about your relationship with EG: Julia, however, I trust your judgement, You will probably find that Julia! will be a quickly passing faze and that he will become more centred upon himself. Hopefully you will gain a son back and be able to have open dialogue on any matter. We all know that there must be certain house rules and boubaries, but explain to him that they apply to everyone not just him.
Consequently, He may be using this gil as a way of getting your attention. As young males will often seek attention, weather negative or positive. Its in your hands, I believe you can give him the positive attention and validation he so badly probably subconsciously needs! I Hope all goes well. Remember the Testosterone, this will impact upon him emotionally as well, so allow him a little lee way. In the end analysis, if he makes a decision and it turns out right, you can reinforce his decision making abilities. If it is a wrong decision, you can still validate him by saying, don't worry son, we all make mistakes and some of us even learn from them. We are never too young or old. Cheers Slamdunk you can always reach me at duncanwilkie@yahoo.com.au for additional info, best of hope to you!
2007-02-08 02:04:57 · answer #3 · answered by Slamdunk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
her son is young tell him that if the girl is gonna have him doing all this crap he shouldn't be with her. Put him on punishment plus i couldn't have a boy friend until age 16. think about it.
2007-02-08 01:24:41 · answer #4 · answered by Ebaby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's 14. If he is not doing those things he is a wimp pansy boy. And if his Mommy tries to break him up with his g/f he will want her more. Leave him alone. He'll grow out of it.
2007-02-08 01:27:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
deliver him to a unique college or flow to a unique area you may not make him stay in his room something else of the college 3 hundred and sixty 5 days. you ought to get a restraining order to have her not come close to him or the residing house. yet difficult to do in the journey that they flow to a similar college.. I vote for replacing his college.
2016-12-03 21:43:51 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the mom could lose her son, no matter how well-intentioned she is. the son needs to learn for himself. maybe you could talk to him about his change of personality. anyone who tries to turn him against this girl might lose his friendship. it might be worth his anger to save him from a bad situation though.
2007-02-08 01:24:44 · answer #7 · answered by wendy_da_goodlil_witch 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
at 14 should not have a staedy girl
2007-02-08 01:23:23 · answer #8 · answered by Joseph T 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you most tell hem the true and he well think about it
2007-02-08 01:23:57 · answer #9 · answered by siso_0 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋