Teenager cruelty towards teachers?

Question

Hi there,

A rather upsetting day today.......a 13 year old girl made me, a teacher, cry in class. She insulted me personally, my lessons, my abilities and what I did the day before. The worst part is, when she saw me distressed, she smiled and said "did I make you cry?". It is really not her actions that upset me, but the fact that she derived pleasure from seeing my distress.

What is it that make some children cruel and lack empathy? Some children are lovely and kind but with others - I'm at a loss to explain. I believe I treat them fairly and I am always prepared to play games with them to make the lesson fun and exciting, but some of the students seem to delight in making teachers suffer.

I am sorry and sad, I like teaching and I like sharing what I know with children. However, this young lady of 13years has really hurt me and I am doubting that I'll return to school come Monday.

Is it nature? Nurture? A lack of discipline during upbringing?

Just some more information. This incident happened today (Thursday). I got so upset that the Vice principal told me to take the day off tomorrow and decide if I want to come back on Monday. Also, the school that I'm in is considered a 'tough' school where many of these kids' parents don't value education. The parents have been known to be violent towards each other and to teachers during parent teacher interviews. Some of these parents even 'referee' fights between their children.

Answer 1

Today is Thursday, don't you have classes on Thurs. and Friday? 13 year old girls are definitely difficult to figure out. I found that they are far worse than the boys. The boys are out there and are what they are, but the girls are cruel.

I know that you are feeling humiliated by what happened and I fully understand that. But you cannot let this girl defeat you. You need to face her and the rest of the class. I would turn this into a lesson of kindness and consideration for others. Tell them that this is an example of what happens when someone is cruel. Everyone has their breaking point and to push someone to that point is unkind and just plain mean. Tell them that sometime in their life they will be on the receiving end of such treatment, and they need to know that it is all right to be upset. But retaliation would only bring them down to that person's low.

I don't know that this is nature, I would think that it is more the way she is being brought up. When someone lives in an environment where ridicule and cruelty is a part of life, then that person, this girl, sees it as a way to get attention and response. I know it will be one of the most difficult things you can do but don't respond to her taunts and don't treat her any different than you would treat the others.

Go to school on Monday with your head held high. I'll think of you and wish you well.

Answer 2

I am a student too, but a more matured one(sophomore). Most kids do this because of the lack of good upbringing by their parents, others see it as mere fun and a way to make their friends laugh. Some just do it, they do not see anything wrong with. the 13 year old might not feel anything wrong with that because she is still young and may find it difficult to understand why her teacher is crying. Being a teacher takes a lot of patience, you should learn to overlook some things.

Answer 3

I would confront a parent or the principle or both about it. That is really all you can do I will admit I have made some teachers cry in my day. To them it is a joke and fun. I would not let that little brat get away with it though.


Just saw the rest of the info ok ya I went to one of those Schools where all the kids got criminal records I do not think teaching at a school like that is for you I would try and get into some where else.

Answer 4

First, many kids lack the ability to "know or understand" what the other feels.
At one stage, all they care about is "me, me and me" - to the exclusion of the rest of the world.

So, in essence, they do lack the empathy.

There are exceptions, of course, but as a general rule, between 12 and 15/16 - they are mean little buggers.

As to why they seem to enjoy your misery - could be the individual one.. that is not really common, in my expirience

Answer 5

Sad thing is, I think those kids are that way because it's how they have been treated themselves in their upbringing. Please don't let it get to you, sounds to me like you're a great teacher. It's inevitable that some kids will be like this, but think of how many you are having a real positive impact on.