Friend of 27 years won't return calls or emails...?

Question

She is a very private person and will never fess up. So you be the judge and jury...

I had a small, casual dinner party (me and my child; her and her child) for her 40th birthday and her child's 16th birthday last summer, at my home which is 1 hour from hers. Everything went well throughout the evening. I couldn't afford gifts (we had NO money for extras, and actually had to count this meal in our normal food budget) but made her favourite foods and a killer torte. I have contacted her on average once a month since last July, either by leaving a phone message or email, and she has never responded! I called her two weeks ago, and she acted as if she had nothing to say to me. She asked me to call back; I did, and she's not answering her phone. I feel like just ditching this gal. I can't imagine what I have done wrong. Do you think it's because I didn't buy them gifts? By the way, in the past I have driven an hour to take them both out to dinner on their birthday. They don't gift us.

Answer 1

I think she has depression issues. I dont think it has anything to do with you not getting her a gift.

Answer 2

I had a friend who didn't communicate with me at all I got really fed up and just told her I wasn't going to bother any more, then she told me there were all sorts of things going wrong with her life and she'd shut lots of people out. I'm not saying this is what your friend is doing, but you need to ask her straight and make her realize that her actions affect you, some people are kind of in a world of their own. See what she says if she ignores you then drop it and she can make the next move.

Answer 3

Well I couldn't imagine someone being so superficial and materialistic to get mad because you couldn't afford some gift.. and 27 of knowing her?? I think you should confront your friend and ask her what is going on it has to be something else.. make a dinner date with her just the two of you and just ask her.I think 27 years of knowing her should give you the confidence to ask her and she will tell you what it is, if you ask her face to face.. just talk to your friend... good luck.

Answer 4

sounds like she expects her friends to do all the 'work' in the relationship whilst she sits back and is adored, so to speak. don't bother with her, or at least just cool off for a while. whilst you're calling all the time, she has no reason to make an effort in the friendship. if she calls, she calls, if not; then don't bother with her. sounds like you've done your fare share of appropriate effort for the relationship.
and i don't think it sounds like it was the no pressie thing either; maybe something else has occured/been said?

Answer 5

Awww, that sounds harsh. So sad. How could a freind of so many years do something so terrible?! It sounds like you have to shrug your shoulders and sum it up to you'll never know. I'm sorry. That's so sad. Have you tried to ask her exactly what you did? Maybe try that. Good luck. I'm sorry.

Answer 6

i wish you were my friend ,doing all that for some who does not even bother to say thank you,stop feeling bad or guilty,try one last face to face conversation put i out on the table ,for the sake of 27 years ,all the best with that.

Answer 7

Let it go, if she is your friend she will come around

she might be having some problems with herself

so let her work out whatever she is feeling..

call her tell her how you feel and then leave it go

at that.

Answer 8

If you really like her give her a break then call her later. Just my opinion.

Answer 9

a picher or you