Why do people misinterpret me because I don't talk as much?

Question

I have had this problem ever since I was a child. I never grew out this 'shyness' and now it has almost made my life a misery. I never start conversations, and whenerver people ask me a question, I answer and thats about it. I can't stand talking to people for more than 10 minutes in case something comes out that I might regret. The problem is that when I talk, I feel like I might offend someone and when I don't talk so I feel the same. It's this constant feeling that people don't like me. The people who I usually becomes friends with are the ones who don't see arrogance or whatever. So why do people misinterpret shyness for arrogance?

Answer 1

Hey There! I used to and still in some cases react and think the same way you do. In highschool I was percieved as a b-atch because some people took my quiet ways of being snotty! It was not that, just shyness and fear to talk to people I didn't know. I don't know if this fear of mine will ever fully go away! I may still pretty shy at times but I do pratice by speaking to strangers more... about smal things like the wheather, something happening around us, a kind word... I will most likely never see these people again so use them as pratice, plus I'm friendly so I figure I may makes someones day by having a small nice conversation with them. I also found myself having to grow out of this habit because of my job. I had to put myself out there, because the more I did, the better I was at being productive at my job. I still have trouble meeting new people, I am still quiet arounfd strangers but it does get easier with practice. I think people may get the wrong idea about people who are quiet becuase they get the wrong idea of the person. They take that they aren't as open as not being friendly, as us not liking them and wanting to speak to them. That we don't think they are worth our time to speak too, which is not true...so try to change a little at a time. Obviuosly you do have things to say, because you have friends who like you and like talking to you... so pratice, and I'm sure it will become easier!

Answer 2

speak out dont be afraid of what ppl think and everyone is in title how they feel if u dont say anything then they dont know what u think never agree with something unless ur happy i would not let some one walk all over u because they can take that for granted they can do that to u and plus ur opion always counts most it might be wrong but at lest u gave it ur all never give in when ur not give out i will always back someone up and if i dont understand i will tell them i dont understand please explain lil bit more and shyness never gets u any where but heart aches learn to talk to someone that trust tell them how u feel and why u feel that way and they will work with u to break through ur shyness

Answer 3

People will wright their fears, fancies etc. onto a blank sheet. Your quietness will lead to this. You might consider assertiveness classes and confidence building groups.

Answer 4

sometimes it's in the way you carry yourself...
this is born out of habit...
habit is born out of thinking...
you think and feel different... it is not bad.
you just have to think that you are okay... you might wish to start with a smile...
then go with some nod... and a smile...and a wink...
then go with a simple hi!!!
hello!!!
then you go to more complex things...
but in all these you have to believe that you deserve to have their friendship... whoever they are... they also deserve to have a Friend like you...
be confident that you will have friends...
you need to be a friend to have friends...
start with yourself... you'll get there...
love yourself... that others will feel it and they can get the drift without you even talking... it makes you approachable... SMILE!!!

Have fun while doing them!!!;-)