Why do men love to hurt the ones they say they love,my ex husband to be comes in tonite and says hes leaving?

Question

i knew it was comming, he's going out all the time, but swears he's not having afair, but comes in tonite and says hes leaving tomorrow. men don't really love us, they like us for a little while, and then find something better. he has no possible idea how much he hurts me ,

Answer 1

men do not hurt u like this if they love u, he don't love u. he is having an affair but doesn't want to burn his bridges yet, in case all does not go well with the other woman, so he can come back to u. he hasn't got better he has something different he thinks, but in a year or so he will be wanting to leave her too, because there are no perfect relationships, not in the real world anyway. she is exciting to him now, boosting his ego, saying and doing all the right things, so to take him from u, but he will not treat her any better than he has u. the real problem lies with in himself, its all about his stuff not yours. let him go keep your dignity, no pleading or crying as it won't win u his love or respect. he is trying to escape reality and for awhile he can until the honeymoon stage ends and he sees he has the same thing as he is now running away from.

Answer 2

"D" or whoever you are, sad to hear that he's going out all the time! What went wrong? He probably just had enough of you, he's probably gotten tired and bored of you! If he really loved you so dearly, he wouldn't be doing this to you! I'm sure he's definitely seeing somebody else! Like they always say, that the wifes are the last ones to know because of their ignorance in facing up to reality! If he hurts you for being such a jerk, look for a better life with someonelse who will not hurt you! Stop feeling miserable about this loser and be a winner and get a better life! It's not the end of the world! Orelse, you should just take a look at yourself and you might notice something is definitely wrong somehwere! Everything happens for a reason! Or maybe you two are just not meant to be, Major Mistake!

Answer 3

Today I fell sorry for way you were treated tonite, We don't hurt the one we love, because if we loved them we wouldn't be hurting them,I think people get married for all the wrong reason. You have too be friend first, with out that their is no hope that a marriage will last. I think if you hold hands, if you can look into ones eyes, their should be 4 kisses everyday before bed, before leaving for work,when one come home, before retiring for the night, but most of all if you can just hold each other with wanting to pull away. well that your friend and that is a start of a good mar rage. Just wanted you too know were not all jerk.

Answer 4

Most men that going throw a divorce are having an affair, they can lie all they want, but it true, he's leaving to go to the other women, who right now is very exciting to him,but just like he left you he will leave her too. And if you were a true wife and perform you wifely duties and you know you did everything to make him happy, than never say he left to find someone better, you are better, let him go, you may lover him now but later on you maybe be glad he gone, so you can start your life over with some one who really appreciate you.

Answer 5

I don't think they all know what they want. They get confused and think its something else they want and then poof they are back on your door step after they have hurt us way to much. The sad part is that alot of women are just as bad. I have even been there. The grass is not greener and a lot of people think it is. Its really sad. Be positive and move on..Easier said than done, but it will happen and you will find someone great. Who loves you for you..

Answer 6

Well to start with men are very easy to figure out, once you start thinking like them, that's the secret.Even if you find it hard to pretend little things don't bother you,just act like they don't. Second if you have a feeling that he is doing something most of the time he is,but instead of getting all crazy about it act like everything is ok. Until you have proof that he is cheating just continue to take care of yourself, go out and buy a new dress, get your hair done throw him off course, make him think you could care less. Men expect a reaction out of women, well you need a action to get a reaction,so you reverse things on him. It's not that they don't care, it's just that they don't wear their heart on their sleeve like we do. They are the last ones to admit anything and will never tell on themselves.But if you pay close attention and handle it smoothly they will tell everything you need to know without even talking.

Answer 7

I feel this type of does happens with evryone whether cud be Men or Women.One shud always do small things that keep a feeling of Love in between.Also same time understand that no one is perfect in this world at any point of time.

Its only love that makes people attach with each other and relations that last even after life/death.

Answer 8

a counselor once said they study animal behavior for humans.. and basically men are beasts.. they sow the seed and women nurture the seed.. thats very beastlike behavior to me.. like a lion..
unless you 2 have common goals and strong religious convictions or something so strong for moral code then i woudl categorize men in that area.. some arent tho.. really.. you have to set higher standards of guys to your moral code.. hes done.. as far as im concerned. has to be.. it will be hard and brutal for any detachment so close.. but.. it will heal in time and you 2 might be freinds.. he aint ready.. he has no moral code to lie.. adn worse he thinks of u as stupid to not see it right thru him.. u felt it.. women have intuition hun.. hes done.. close the door and less contact for u will be better or pain and suffering gets worse.. dont even try to ask him why he did it he will say some sort of an excuse.. and there isnt one good enough no matter what he says.. you want closure and answers but he is just a beast have confidenace in yourself close the door ignore him a lot until divorce proceedings.. less is best.. no contact.. keep focused. want more for yourself. you wouldnt trust him if u 2 went back together..

Answer 9

Alright, Now you say that you knew it was coming (your husband leaving you and all) So what exactly is it that you want us to say. We don't know what led up to this move on his behalf. But I will lend you this bit of advice, Let him go... Cry, Vent, And begin enjoying your life again without the headache of his lies and deceitful ways. We all know it won't be easy, But if you start climbing now you'll reach the top before you know it. Keep your head up butterfly this is a new beginning for you... Gene.

Answer 10

I'm sorry you're hurting I've been there and after I got over the grieving process I asked God this time (in Jesus name) to send me a good man,and after a while He did and now I have someone alot better that I can trust because I know God wouldn't give me someone that would cheat on me.